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by push

Rated R

Mulder POV

"Rotting Your Brain" Haven challenge

HAD and X-Cops spoilers

Copyrights of The X-Files belong to Chris Carter and Fox.
I'm just doing some shameless plagiarizing. <g>

Special thanks to Obfusc8er for help with troublesome Scully dialogue
paragraphs.

WHAM, WHAM, WHAM, CRASH!!!!
THIS IS THE LAPD EVERYBODY GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR
NOW!!!!!!!

Aww, man, what the bleep is going on?? I ain't did nothing.
Bleep, mother-bleep, bleep, bullbleep, bleep....bustin' into
my bleeping house. What the bleep is wrong with you.....

Whaa?? It takes me a minute to figure out where I am and what woke
me from my post-coital stupor. Scully and I are in LA for our movie
premiere. As disappointing as our big screen debut was, our evening
afterwards definitely made up for it. Scully and I enjoyed a very
expensive dinner, some slow dancing, a little groping and kissing on the
sly, a heated limo ride back to our motel, and breaking the land speed
record for getting naked and down to business once we arrived to our
room.

Scully should be comatose after the workout I gave her. Not up
watching COPS at 3 a.m. She is sitting up, nude and nibbling on some
kind of fancy cookie thing from our complementary fruit basket.

I roll over and blow a strawberry into her nude hip.
BZERBERT!!!!

"Mulder!!!"

"Hmmm?" I mumble into her flesh.

"I thought you were asleep."

"I was, but your obsessive late night television viewing habits have
disturbed my slumber."

I happen to know that Scully has a lot, lot, lot of video tapes of COPS.
And she knows I know. I haven't made a big deal about it. We pretty
much have no secrets when it comes to our video collections. I have
allowed her free reign of mine since the very early days of our
partnership, and she has done the same for me. I have difficulties with
returning rentals, so I have a wide variety of videos covering many
different genres. And yes, Scully has borrowed the odd porn video or
two.

"Like you have never watched any bad TV, Mister I-have-watched-
Plan-9-from-Outer-Space-42-times." she mumbles around a mouthful
of those fancy cookies that I can't pronounce the name of.

"51 now," I reply as I rescue a stray crumb from becoming lost in her
muff. Mission accomplished I move up to her navel.

"Still, why do you have this fascination with COPS, Scully?
Do the men in blue turn you on? If that is the case, I can put on one of
those sexy uniforms, break out my cuffs and bust through your door and
arrest you. As forcibly as you desire. Plus a full body cavity search."

I waggle my eyebrows at her. Then nibble a bit on her navel.
Scully shifts a bit and massages the back of my neck. Ignoring my
innuendo, she replies.

"I started watching COPS back when I was in the Academy. I was
having difficulty with our arrest drills. I was very timid and I always
ended up getting dumped on my ass by the perp."

Surprised, I abandon her belly button and look up at her.

"You timid, Scully? That's hard for me to believe. I've seen you take
down scumbags more than twice your size."

She nods the affirmative.

"True, but in med school we were taught to be courteous and sensitive
to our patients and their families. First, do no harm."

"The old bedside manners, huh, Scully?"

She lightly cuffs me on the ear and continues.

"When I started the academy I had to unlearn that. Someone my size
has to make up for sheer strength with intimidation, or force of will.
Kind of mind over matter you know, and I never had to be rough or
forceful with anyone before. I was really having a hard time allowing
myself to let go and impose my will on them. There were times when I
was sure I wasn't going to get through the course."

Now my head is resting on her stomach. I reply my face pressed to her
skin.

"I guess I never thought about how difficult that would be for a woman.
For me it was almost like playing basketball. A game, loser winds up
cuffed."

Her hand strokes my hair as she continues her explanation.

"Then I realized that I was hooked. I don't watch as often as I used to
and no longer tape it. I still watch on occasion. It's good to watch late at
night when I'm having trouble sleeping."

I lift my head back at her, amazed that after three orgasms she isn't
zonked.

"But why were you avoiding the cameras, Scully, when we had our stint
as guest stars?"

Scully sighs.

"I guess deep down, maybe I was afraid of screwing up again. Except
this time in front of millions of people."

I smile up at her and give her torso a squeeze.

"And I thought it was because everyone would think we were a couple
of nut cases."

She replies with a smirk.

"Well you, Mulder. I was hiding from the cameras. "


She is so going to pay for that smart ass comment, and I am going to
enjoy myself immensely making her do so. I grab her by the arm and
haul her over to my side of the bed. She squeals in surprise. I pin her
down with my body and reply just inches from her lips.

"I think it is time for that full body cavity search, Ms. I- am-not-in-any-
way-associated-with-the-nut-case-you-see-on-your-television-screen."

Giggling, Scully replies.

"As long as I get to reciprocate. Just to be fair, you know."

Then she smiles and plants a soft kiss on my nose. It takes me a minute
to realize just what reciprocation actually means. Time for damage
control.

"I think we should make that just an almost full body cavity search. I'm
not really in to that, umm, anal-type stuff, and you have an unfair
advantage, being a doctor and knowing all kinds of secret medical
torture procedures."

"Fair enough."