The X-iles

Innocent Until Proven Guilty
Home
Sweeney Todd Review
Obfusc8ions
Piratey
NonEssential and NonExistent's NonsEnse
Push's Pad
Xtreme Unction's Labor of Love
Sacred Heart's Ambry
Satchie's "On the Safe Side"
Site Correspondence
Guestbook
Aye, There's the Rum
by push

Rated R

Mulder pov

Rotting your brain Haven challenge.

HAD and X Cops spoilers

copyrights of the X Files belong to Chris Carter and Fox.
I'm just doing some shameless plagiarizing. <g>

Special thanks to Obfusca8er for help with troublesome Scully
dialog paragraphs.

WHAM, WHAM, WHAM, CRASH!!!!
THIS IS THE LAPD EVERYBODY GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR NOW!!!!!!!
Awe man what the bleep is going on?? I ain't did nothing.
Bleep, mother bleep, bleep ,bull bleep, bleep....bustin into
my bleeping house. What the bleep is wrong with you.....

Whaa?? It takes me a minute to figure out where I am and what
woke me from my post coital stupor. Scully and I are in LA for
our movie premiere. As disappointing as our big screen debut
was our evening afterwards definitely made up for it. Scully
and I enjoyed a very expensive dinner, some slow dancing, a
little groping and kissing on the sly, a heated limo ride back
to our motel, and breaking the land speed record for getting
naked and down to business once we arrived to our room.

Scully should be comatose after the workout I gave her. Not up
watching COPS at 3 a.m. She is sitting up, nude and nibbling
on some kind of fancy cookie thing from our complementary
fruit basket.

I roll over and blow a strawberry in to her nude hip.
BZERBERT!!!!

"Mulder!!!"

"Hmmm?" I mumble into her flesh.

"I thought you were asleep."

" I was but your obsessive late night television viewing
habits have disturbed my slumber."

I happen to know that Scully has a lot, lot, lot of video
tapes of Cops. And she knows I know. I haven't made a big deal
about it. We pretty much have no secrets when it comes to our
video collections. I have allowed her free reign of mine since
the very early days of our partnership. and she has done the
same for me. I have difficulties with returning rentals so I
have a wide variety of videos covering many different genres.
And yes, Scully has borrowed the odd porn video or two.

" Like you have never watched any bad tv. Mr I have watched
Plan 9 from outer space 42 times."
she mumbles around a mouthful of those fancy cookies that I
can't pronounce the name of.
"51 now."
I reply as I rescue a stray crumb from becoming lost in her
muff. Mission accomplished I move up to her navel.

" Still why do you have this fascination with COPS Scully?
Do the men in blue turn you on? If that is the case I can put
on one of those sexy uniforms, break out my cuffs and bust
through your door and arrest you. As forcible as you desire.
Plus a full body cavity search."

I waggle my eyebrows at her. Then nibble a bit on her navel.
Scully shifts a bit and massages the back of my neck. Ignoring
my innuendo she replies.

"I Started watching Cops back when I was in the Academy. I was
having difficulty with our arrest drills. I was very timid and
I always ended up getting dumped on my ass by the perp."

surprised I abandon her belly button and look up at her.
" You, timid Scully? That's hard for me to believe. I've seen
you take down scumbags more than twice your size."

She nods the affirmative.

"True, but in med school we were taught to be courteous and
sensitive to our patients and their families. First do no
harm."

" The old bedside manners huh Scully?"

She lightly cuffs me on the ear and continues.


" When I started the academy I had to unlearn that. Someone my
size has to make up for sheer strength with intimidation, or
force of will. Kind of mind over matter you know, and I never
had to be rough or forceful with anyone before. I was really
having a hard time allowing myself to let go and impose my
will on them. There were times when I was sure I wasn't going
to get through the course."

Now my head is resting on her stomach. I reply my face pressed
to her skin .

"I guess I never thought about how difficult that would be for
a woman. For me it was almost like playing basketball. A game,
loser winds up cuffed."

Her hand stroking my hair she continues her explaination.

" Then I realized that I was hooked. I don't watch as often as
I used to and no longer tape it I still watch on occasion.
It's good to watch late at night when I'm having trouble
sleeping."
I lift my head back at her. Amazed that after 3 orgasms she
isn't zonked.

" But why were you avoiding the cameras Scully, when we had
our stint as guest stars?"

Scully sighs.

" I guess deep down maybe I was afraid of screwing up again.
Except this time in front of millions of people."

I smile up at her and give her torso a squeeze.

" And I thought it was because everyone would think we were a
couple of nut cases."

She replies with a smirk.

" Well you, Mulder. I was hiding from the cameras. "


She is so going to pay for that smart ass comment, and I am
going to enjoy myself immensely making her do so. I grab her
by the arm and haul her over to my side of the bed. She
squeals in surprise. I pin her down with my body and reply
just inches from her lips.

" I think it is time for that full body cavity search, Ms I am
not in any way associated with the nut case you see on your
television screen."

Giggling Scully replies.

" As long as I get to reciprocate. Just to be fair you know."

Then she smiles and plants a soft kiss on my nose.
It takes me a minute to realize just what reciprocation
actually means. Time for damage control.

" I think we should make that just an almost full body cavity
search. I'm not really in to that umm anal type stuff and You
have an unfair advantage being a doctor and knowing all kinds
of secret medical torture procedures."

" Fair enough."