November 30, 2003:    Things you would never know if you did
not browse the tabloids while waiting for your wife at the counter
in the supermarket – this week's headlines:


KOBE ACCUSER IN CLINIC!
     Photo proof of her doing drugs on Oct. 17

                                                        [courtesy National Enquirer]


KOBE ACCUSER HAD SEX WITH KEY WITNESS

                                                                                         [courtesy the Globe]


SOUL KISS OF THE WEEK:

    TONI MORRISON and PARIS HILTON

               [courtesy Strange Times]


Dumb news from Indiana section:

FIRE DESTROYS HOLOCAUST MUSEUM IN TERRE HAUTE
              'Remember Timmy McVeigh' scrawled on wall


    The owner, Eva Mozes Kor, who survived Dr. Mengele's experiments at Auschwitz
along with her twin sister, vowed to rebuild.
                                                                                       [courtesy New York Times]


and, this week's special, headline plus article excerpts:

JERRY LEE LEWIS' BIZARRE LAST DAYS
         Friends fear 'the Killer' may die a recluse:
                                                                                     [courtesy National Examiner]


Borf's Weekly BONUS:

Counterterrorism officials said recent Al Qaeda attacks are  a  sign  the
organization has been weakened.  . . .  Animal rightsers fed ham to 70,-
000 sheep destined to be eaten in the Middle East.  .  .  .  Phil  Spector
made bond and went home. .  .  .  Michael Jackson made bond and re-
turned  to Las Vegas. .  .  .  The Russian Orthodox Church denounced
Mormons for  buying  names  of  dead  Russians  to baptize dead souls.
. . .  A German cannibal said his victim had agreed to be eaten and had
shared a meal of his own penis with him. . . .  A man at a Ku Klux Klan
rally in Tennessee fired a 9-mm. handgun into the air, and the falling bul-
let pierced the head of another rallier. . . . President Bush served turkey
and dodged donkeys in Iraq.

                                          [items 1-2, 4-6 courtesy Harper's Weekly]


DISCUSSION GROUP:

        Don't forget!  Readers interested in intellectual dissection of
important current events are invited to attend  the Weekly World
News Round Table at the offices of Borf Books outside Browns-
ville, Kentucky, just after church every Sunday.  Guest  speakers
lined up for meetings in the near future include the German canni-
bal Armin Meiwes, who has given new meaning to the taunt "Eat
me!"


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