Publius Leget wrote Sun 12/20/15 @09:24 CST (roots and grafts):
I found the New Yorker's explanation of its difference in
style for C.I.A. and ISIS a bit lame – especially in its ra-
tionale (if any) for the small caps for acronyms. And, is-
n't the phrase "pronounceable acronym" redundant?
And, how do you suppose the chippie who e-mailed you
says C.I.A.? "C, I, A," as she indicated, or "Cee-yi-yay,"
as in "Whoopee-ti-yi-yo" (or as that other chippie says
"Tee-yi-yay-yay Cref" for TIAA-CREF in the National
Public Radio promo)?Celebrity lookalikes (or, maybe Christopher Lloyd looks more like both of them . . . ) Christopher Lloyd, John A. Durbin II, Lloyd, J. J. Thomson, Lloyd (suggestion courtesy Dave Surtees)
Indiana and Purdue universities cut off employee benefits to
same-sex "partners" (ya gotta be married now). . . .
The Gary Youth Council, composed of teen-agers, voted to
ask the city to prohibit wearing "saggy pants" by persons
under 18 years of age. . . .
A 69-year-old woman in Lynn, Randolph County, was char-
ged with throwing buckets of her own urine on a neighbor's
house. . . .
Elkhart closed its public ice skating rink on account of warm
weather.
[courtesy Columbus Republic]South Bend's most wanted: Deanna Tillman, BF, 5'7", 145 lbs, coke; Thomas Pasman, WM, 5'10", 160 lbs, theft; Lisa Miller, WF, 5'6", 170 lbs, meth; Berrien County, Michigan's: Lakwanta Dominique Griffin, BM, criminal enterprise (Michiana Crime Stoppers)
Sazerac Brands dropped its lawsuit against Jack Daniel's,Quotations of the week:
without explanation, over the use of "Fireball" in cinnamon
whiskey names. . . .
The Kentucky Mist Moonshine distillery dropped its lawsuit against the University of Kentucky over the use of the word Kentucky in its logotype on caps and T-shirts, which the university called a trademark violation. Mayebe it was the font the university was complaining about. In the meantime the university introduced a new logo of its own. . . ..
Melissa Warren, 34, of Walker, was charged with murder, DUI, driving without license and leaving the scene of an accident after her pickup left the road in Knox County, hit a tree and flipped, killing a male passenger, 20
Of US Senators running for President, Kentucky's Rant Pol
has the best attendance record, but is next to last in speeches
on the floor. Burny Sandman is second in attendance, first
in floor speeches. Mario Rubicon is last in both counts. . . .
The state's chief justice declined to remove Olu Stevens, the
black judge in Louisville in a spat with the state's attorney,
from all criminal cases but instead referred the matter of his
ClutterbookFacebook rants to the state's Judicial Conduct
Commission.
[courtesy Lexington Herald-Leader]
Lexington's most wanted: Stephanie Watts, WF, 33, 5'7", 180 lbs; Savannah Blaclwell, WF, 26, 5'4", 140 lbs (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)
It was 73 degrees in southern Kentucky on Christmas Eve,
a record high, and our roving reporter came to the news
office in shorts and sandals.
[Tabloid Headlines]
Arrested in Abilene (Texas not Kansas): Steven Leija,WM,, 34, 5'5", 185 lbs, theft; Shaquan Townsend, BM, 18, 6'1", 130 lbs, burglary; Travis Gazaille, WM, 28, 5'11", 110 lbs, tampering with evidence (Abilene Crime Stoppers)
"You can't fool all of the people all of the time; but if you fool enough of them once,
it can last four years."
– Anonymous
"Now I can stay."
– Bashar al-Assad, upon hearing of the UN Security Council resolution
calling for peace in Syria but not mentioning what's to become of him
"The Turkish government decided to lick the Americans in a certain place."
– Vladimir Putin
"What unique perspective does a minority student bring to a physics class?"
– Chief Justice John Roberts, to an attorney for "affirmative action"
"It's important not just to shoot, but to aim."
– President Obama
"This was not an act of terrorism. Initial investigation appears this was intentional."Quotations repeated every week:
– Deputy Police Chief Brett Zimmerman, referring to the dozens injured, one
killed, by a woman who drove her car onto a sidewalk in Las Vegas, Nevada
(And, why did the media not immediately show us her face and tell us her name? We
just wanted to know if she was a Muslim or not. Turns out it was a 24-year-old home-
less black woman from Oregon named Lakeisha, with a suspended driver's license.)
"It's probably the baddest decision he's made all year long."
– Phil Simms, CBS Sports
"The media is pursuing ratings. . . . It's up to the media to make a determination about how they
want to cover things."
– President Obama (emphasis added)
" . . . had went . . . ."
– Blake Farmer, WPLN-FM, Nashville, Tennessee, on National Public Radio
"People are not watching their dogs."
– Kellie McClellan, urban forester, Muncie, Indiana
"That's right. . . . That's right. . . ."
– Shankar Vedantam
Quotations
of the Wheat:"I still have four years of eligibility to play basketball for the |
"My own personal theory is that Joseph built the pyramids in order to store grain."If they don't take 'em down, you can see Tez Crud reading Christmas classics to his little girls
– Dr. Casey, in a commencement address at Andrews University, 1998
The Islamic State declared war on Saudi Arabia; Saudi
Arabia included Pakistan and Lebanon in its antiterror-
ism coalition without consulting either country, and ne-
gotiations in Switzerland failed to end the civil war in
Yemen. . . . In a poll of Republican primary voters, 30
per cent supported bombing Agrabah, a fictional coun-
try in Disney’s Aladdin. . . . Driving instructors were al-
lowed to be paid with sex in Holland, where prostitution
is legal. . . . A German historian reported evidence that
Hitler had only one testicle and that his condition was
congenital, not the result of a war injury (or [roots and
grafts] should that be unigenital?). . . . A Thai factory la-
borer was charged criminally with posting sarcastic re-
marks on the internet about the king's dog. . . . Benjamin
Netanyahu's dog bit two guests at a Hanukkah party. . . .
Four thousand Romanian shepherds wearing sheepskins
protested in Bucharest against new regulations limiting
the number of sheep dogs they can use. . . . A North Ca-
rolina judge denied PETA's motion for an injunction a-
gainst a New Year's Eve possum drop in Brasstown. . . .
The town council of Woodland, North Carolina, rejected
a proposal for a solar farm after residents expressed fears
it would "suck up all the energy from the sun." . . . An 82-
year-old woman trapped in a public lavatory for four days
in Felixstowe, England, kept warm with a hand dryer and
knitted a scarf while she was there. . . . Bristol Palin gave
birth to another bastard.
[courtesy Harper's, Raw Story]
Why does it feel awkward for me to call my husband by hisDear Husband's Name Is . . . :
first name? When I say his name from another room to get
his attention, it only feels natural for me to call him "Babe."
When I'm talking about him to someone else, I use his name,
but it still makes me cringe. It's a perfectly normal, common
name; so I don't know why it makes me so uncomfortable.
And this doesn’t just apply to my husband. Before him I was
in a six-year relationship with my high school sweetheart and
had the same problem. Why can I only call my significant oth-
ers “Babe” when talking to them?
Husband's Name Is _____
Bob, right? Makes you think of bobbing for apples. But the
trouble started with your high school boy friend, Oglethorpe.
Here's a solution: Women in rural Kentucky call their hus-
bands by their last names. Try that.
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Anthony Dean wrote Sun 12/13/15 @10:33 CST re Negra Modelo:
"Negra" modifies "cerveza," the Spanish for beer, which has
been omitted from the brand name. Since adjectives usually
follow nouns in Spanish, it's easy to conclude that it does not
modify "Modelo," which is part of the brand name.
Bruce Mitchell wrote Sat 12/12/15 @23:43 PST to relieve Jay Cory's amazement that "terrorism" was never mentioned in reports of the shooting at Planned Parenthood in Colorado Springs: "It was a white guy"; newspaper cartoon of Obama and terrorist: "I don't know if this latest incident was terrorism, but I'm looking into it . . . ."
Honkin de Spain wrote Tues 12/1/15 to answer our question why Na-
tional Public Radio's Dina Temple-Raston is called a "counterterrorism
correspondent" and not a "terrorism correspondent":
Um, maybe they think their listeners might be confused, andSo, where does this leave "crime reporters"? – Editor
think she is a terrorist who corresponds with them? I mean,
people are so dumb, aren't we? We wouldn't want Dina What-
zername to be ostracized or interrorgated!
We wrote the Editor of the New Yorker Mon 12/14/15 @09:32 CST:
So, why is it C.I.A., regular caps with periods, and ISIS, smallAnd the New Yorker wrote back Mon 12/14/15 @11:06 EST:
caps and no periods? Do you have any standards?
We use small caps and no periods when it's a pronounceable acronym,
like ISIS or NASA. With things like C.I.A., we use full caps and peri-
ods because we're just saying the letters involved: C, then I, then A.
Dumb news from Kentucky:The mayor of Goshen issued an executive order adding pro-
tection of "transgender people" to the city's antidiscrimina-
tion hiring ordinance after city council members refused to
vote on it in the wake of opposition. . . .
The state police were offering an "Unarmed Response to Ac-
tive Shooter Events" program to schools and businesses. . . .
Dogs were vandalizing Muncie's new dog park. . . .
The police chief of Sullivan crashed into another car on the
courthouse square.
[courtesy Columbus Republic]
South Bend's most wanted: Michael Reeder, WM, 5'4", 165 lbs, coke (Michiana Crime Stoppers); Lookalike; John A. Durbin II, WM, Sunfish, Ky., denies illegal use of drugs (he has always supported his children, too); Larry Edward Norman Jr., WM, failure to pay child support
The Sazerac Co., of Frankfort, marketer of Fireball Cinna-
mon Whisky, a "product of Canada," since 1988, sued Jack
Daniel's in federal court in Louisville for using "Fireball"
as a "Google AdWord" to promote its Tennessee Fire whis-
key. And remember, Tennessee whiskeys are not bourbons
(and apparently neither is Sazerac's Fireball). Jack Daniel's
whiskey itself is not "bourbon" but "Tennessee sour mash."
And also, although Jack Daniel's whiskeys are produced in
Tennessee, the Jack Daniel brand now is owned by Brown-
Forman Corporation, of Louisville, Kentucky; so, how did
they get to a federal court? Guess it's the federal trademark
statute (and remember also, it's "whiskey" in Ireland and A-
merica, bourbon or not, and "whisky" in England, Scotland
and Canada).
[courtesy WDRB and others]
Lexington police were looking for a missing 14-year-old moth-
er and her 1-week-old son from Louisville. . . .
The United States Supreme Court reversed a US Court of Ap-
peals reversal of a murder conviction in Kentucky in which a
person who expressed reservations about the death penalty
was excluded from the jury.
[courtesy Herald-Leader]
The black Louisville judge whose disqualification was sought
by the white state’s attorney over a racist jury selection issue
reached a settlement with his foe in mediation, but the judge's
wife upset the apple cart: The judge learned, in mediation, the
name of an attorney who had alerted the state's attorney to the
judge’sClutterbookFacebook rants, the husband of aClutter-Facebook 'friend' of the judge's wife; the judge "texted"
book
that information to his wife – during the mediation, already
violating a condition of confidence – and his wife then "text-
ed" the attorney, "You dirty, rotten mother-fucker." And the
state's attorney has renewed his motion to disqualify the
judge from all criminal cases, for that and for newClutter-Facebook posts by the judge. . . .
book
Nearly 150 Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America
marching in Louisville last Sunday were trailed by armed gun
rights activists.
[courtesy the Courier-Journal]
A homeless center in Williamsburg quit accepting women in
order to prevent illicit sexual relations.
[courtesy WYMT]
"Again we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his
own way, by going to the mall of his choice."
– Dave Barry
"When I was a kid, Halloween was Halloween, and Santa wasn't poking his ass in it."
– Lewis Black
"I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into a black
neighborhood after dark."
– Dick Gregory
"Christmas: It's the only religious holiday that's also a federal holiday."
– Samantha Bee
[Oh, yeah? What about Easter? Or any Sunday? – Editor]
"And how does the media cover ISIS shootings or threats differently than if it were another kind
of shooting or threat?"
– Jeremy Hobson, Here & Now, National Public Radio
"I think there's a lot of levels of concern about the way in which media handles things . . . ."
– David Folkenflik (emphasis added), NPR "media" correspondent (same interview)
"That's exactly right."
– Shankar Vedantam
Quotations
of the Wheat:"Only five shoplifting days left till Christmas?" |
A Norwegian study found that men have a better senseThe sports:
of direction than women. . . . An elementary school in
Pueblo, Colorado, was closed after a third-grader sent
an e-mail to other students full of emojis including guns,
knives, bombs, smiley faces, cows and sheep (the boy
said he did not realize he had sent it to the entire stu-
dent body). . . . J-Law dissed Li-lo on T-V.
[courtesy Harper's, ABC]
Pete Rose remained "banned from baseball" – as ifDear Eleanor:
I am a 51-year-old attractive professional, divorced twoDear Corny:
times, and engaged to a 58-year-old man who also is di-
vorced twce. We met on line, and hit it off pretty quick.
He is magnetic, and sex is great. He moved in, and I am
supporting him until he gets his businesses in order. He's
had four DUI's and recently spent some time in jail.
He has always been up front that he likes to view porn a
lot and wants to experiment sexually. This doesn't bother
me. But he posted an ad on line asking another woman to
join us for sex. While we may fantasize about this in the
bedroom, he wants to make it real; and this makes me un-
comfortable. But he gets angry if I say so. He also doesn't
like when I mention the money issues between us.
I have been through a lot over the past few years, including
getting out of an abusive marriage. And I have a young
daughter. Am I being unreasonable about threesomes, or
should I rethink?
Confused
Unopened e-mail last week included a message from "info"
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Jay Cory wrote Sun 12/6015 @07:55 EST:
I too was amazed at how long it took to actually use the word
"terrorism" in reports of the San Bernardino attack, and I was
even more amazed that that term never got used in reports on
the Planned Parenthood shooting in Colorado Springs. That
one meets the old definitions as well as the new, "use of vio-
lence and intimidation in the pursuit of political aims."
On another matter, Olivia Culpo, the woman turned down by
Tim Tebow, was not just Miss USA; she was Miss Universe.
You turn her down, you deserve to lose her. I' m sure she'd
have been quite the religious experience for me.
Keith Durbin wrote Sun 12/6/15 @08:14 CST:
I believe that these days the difference between murderer and
terrorist is that a murderer is afforded due process of law and
a terrorist can be thrown in jail for as long as they wish with-
out a trial.
The columnist formerly known as Bob Hill wrote Sun 12/6/15 @11:54 EST:
While the politically and literally correct English majors at Fort Wayne
(Indiana) North High School struggle to replace "Redskins" as a school
mascot I defy any high school anywhere to come up with a better nick-
name than the Calhoun Sandcrabs of Port Lavaca, Texas – unless may-
be the Frankfort (Indiana) Hot Dogs.
Honkin de Spain wrote Sun 11/8/15:When did you stop putting periods after initials, like U[.]K[.]?
The incidence referred to – the article about the University of Ken-
tucky's challenging Kentucky Mist's use of the word "Kentucky" in
its product – contained a link to an image of the "UK" university
logotype.
But that aside, whether to include periods in initials of universities
seems to be more a matter of style than of proper grammar or punc-
tuation, and is somewhat dependent on "logos." The only school
we can think of off the top of our (collective) head that usually is
referred to with periods in its abbreviation is Indiana University –
"I.U." (the Editor's alma mater). Even Northwestern University (the
Editor's law school alma mater), in the same athletic conference,
goes by NU (no periods). And, OK, I.U. no longer. The original
sheet music to the alma mater hymn said "Hail to Old I.U.," but that
seems archaic now.
And some typically use "of" in their initialized nicknames; some
don't. Even in the same state you have UK for Kentucky, U of L
(sometimes U. of L.) for the University of Louisville.
Then you got VCU for Virginia Commonwealth, TCU for Texas
Christian, SMU for Southern Methodist, USC for Southern Cali-
fornia (a/k/a "Southern Cal") and UCLA for the University of Cal-
ifornia at Los Angeles (but it's "Caltech" for the California Insti-
tute of Technology, not "CIT," not "C.I.T." – not even "Cal Tech"
or "Cal. Tech.").
News services and broadcast networks follow the same pattern:
AP, UPI, NPR, CNN, CBS, NBC, NYT, etc. And, then, is it "UN"
or "U.N."? As with I.U./IU, take your pick (or, should that be
"pick your take"?). But most Americans would be offended, we
think, by "US" and "USA" instead of U.S. and U.S.A. (it's too late
for Russians to get offended by "USSR" ("CCCP"). Let's think a-
gain of UK, while we're at it: It's a European nation as well as an
American university.
No one except the people of I.U. says either P.U. or PU for Purdue,
which is in the Big Ten withI.U.IU and NU. One idle thought, in
passing: If I.U. had a branch at Dyer (the largest city in Indiana be-
ginning with a "D"), should that be "I.U.D.," or "IUD"?
We're not going to get excited about periods / no periods in initials
of schools, countries, TV networks, news services and other organ-
izations. After all, there are no standards in the 21st century. But
here's a couplet for strict guidance:
When in doubt,
spell it out.
OK (look, Ma! No periods!), there is a standard, even if we have to
be the first to enunciate it: When the abbreviation consists entirely
of initials, periods are not needed. Think FDR, JFK, LBJ (TR, if
you must have a Republican). When the abbreviation is contained
within a phrase otherwise spelled out, however, a period is required:
Franklin D. Roosevelt, etc.
The Random House College Dictionary's "Basic Manual of Style"
instructs, "Do not use a period after . . . initials of military services
and specific military terms: USA (United States Army), USAF, US-
MC . . . PX . . . GI . . . APO. . . ." or "after the initials of certain gov-
ernment agencies . . . NATO, UNICEF, CIA . . . " but to use them for
names of countries: "U.S.S.R. . . . U.S. . . ." This is inconsistent, at
best; and no explanation or rationale is offered for the distinction be-
tween countries and groups of countries. Fowler has nothing at all to
say on the issue. Even Patricia O'Conner, in Woe Is I, says only,
"More and more abbreviations, like MD, are losing their dots these
days; so check your dictionary for updates." And here's an interest-
ing phrase from the November 30 New Yorker, which we are presen-
ting graphically so that your many e-mail readers out there do not
have "their way" with it, and you will see it as it was printed:
According to the C.I.A., ISIS has at least twenty thousanand armed fightersNote that "C.I.A." has dots, that "ISIS" does not, and that "ISIS" is
printed in small caps. What sense does all that make?
Do the US Postal Service' two-letter abbreviations for all states re-
lieve this dichotomy, or further confound it? NY (formerly N.Y.), IA,
ID, IL, IN (see? There are four eyes, not just three, as baseball fans
would have you believe), NC, ND, SC, SD (formerly . . . you know);
and what about P.R./PR, which is not quite a state?
Getting back toI.U.IU, the name of a long-time, beloved mid-century
president (and later chancellor) of the university is instructive: Her-
man B Wells. He had no middle name, only a middle initial. The B
stood for nothing else. In backroom talk, journalists jokingly referred
to him as "Herman B No Period Wells."
"OK" itself is instructive. It began as an abbreviation for "Old Kinder-
hook," President Martin Van Buren's New York estate. But as it evolv-
ed, it became a word unto itself, variantly spelled "okay" and "okeh."
"Okeh" is obsolete; "okay" is becoming so, and most grammarians,
writers and journalists seem to prefer "OK" these days.
A social studies teacher at a high school in Elkhart was suspen-
ded for instructing students to place "whites only" and "blacks
only" signs in hallways near drinking fountains and restrooms in
an effort to teach them the feeling of governmental segregation.
[courtesy ABC57]
A bobcat kitten (bobkitten?) hit by a car as she crossed a road
near Bloomington last month is on the mend after pelvis recon-
struction surgery at the University of Illinois, and wildcare of-
ficials hope she can be reunited with her mother and sister,
who were crossing the road with her. . . .
Two legally married lesbian couples sued the state health com-
missioner to have both parties' names listed as parents on their
children's birth certificates. . . .
Governor Mikey "graciously declined" to meet with Syrian ref-
ugees because of a prior engagement. . . .
In what appears to the editors of Tabloid Headlines to be an
attempt to avoid being a terrorist target, Terre Haute is drop-
ping "International" from the name of its airport. New names
under consideration include Indy West Regional Airport and
Wabash Valley Aeroplex.
[courtesy Columbus Republic]
South Bend's most wanted: Michelle Veness, WF, 5'2", 140 lbs, possession of meth (and firewater); Berrien County Michigan's: Necol Winson, BF, assault with a dangerous weapon (Michiana Crime Stoppers)
Off-duty police were denied entry to the "Acoustic Jam" concertQuotation of the week:
at the Palace Theater in Louisville because they carried guns. . . . .
A Louisville high school science teacher known as "Mr. Hippo"
was suspended for making "sexually inappropriate comments"
to students.
[courtesy WDRB]
Kim Davis attended Governor Matt's inauguration. . . . Kim Da-
vis was nominated for Time magazine's person of the year (and
came in 55th). . . . Kim Davis and Donald Trump were named
among Mad magazine's 20 dumbest persons of the year.
[courtesy AP and other media]
Lexington's most wanted: Sonnie Gilbert, WF, 33, 5'6", 155 lbs; Tara Gray, BF, 32, 5'4", 135 lbs; Sashauna Mullins, WF, 27, 5'3", 145 lbs (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)
"I am a Muslim, and there is nothing Islamic about killing innocent people in Paris, SanQuotations of the weak:
Bernardino, or anywhere else in the world."
– Muhammad Ali
"Only jerks, or the non-digitally adept, end their text messages with periods. The exclamation point,
a simple key change, makes a huge difference in determining whether your friend is a dick. To
avoid confusion, just stick to communicating in emoji."
– Jessica Roy, New York magazine
"What are the range of reactions?"Quotations repeated every week:
– Audie Cornish, National Public Radio
"I think that's exactly right."
– Shankar Vedantam
Quotations
of the Wheat:"It's closer than a hair on a biscuit." |
China ordered owners of cars with even and odd-numberedThe sports:
license plates to drive only on alternate days, to combat
smog. . . . Porn star Stoya accused porn actor James Deen
of rape. . . . Bud Weisser, 19, was arrested for trespassing
at a Budweiser brewery in St. Louis, Missouri. . . . Britain's
"loneliest schoolboy," a 10-year-old who is the only child
living on the Scottish island Out Skerries, may get hundreds
of Christmas cards, thanks to Reddit. . . . A Turkish doctor
was arrested for posting celebrity lookalike images of Gol-
lum, a character in Lord of the Rings, and President Recep
Tayyip Erdogan. . . . A burglary suspect hiding in a pond
in Brevard County, Florida, was eaten by an alligator. . . .
A severed pig's head was thrown to the steps of a mosque
in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
[courtesy Harper's, HuffPost, AP]
The president of Mauritania ordered early penalty kicks to
end a national championship soccer match he found boring.
We were visiting our son and daughter-in-law last weekend.Dear Wet Winnie:
After using the facilities downstairs, I told her the hand tow-
el was missing. Guess what she said: "Well, that's what
pants are for!" She wasn't kidding! Could they be short of
money? Should I send her some towels?
Wet Hands in Wisconsin
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Wonder Sauna short Hot Pants, Weight-Watchers of America, look better,feel better, wake up your body, for men and women, slenderize exactly where you want, one size fits all - easy to inflate, quickly reduces inches from your hips and thighs, approved AAU USA
Len wrote Sun 11/29/15 @09:00 EST:
". . . the Statue of Liberty, George Washington, Benjamin Franklin
and Thomas Jefferson huddled around a manger holding the Bill of
Rights . . . ."?
How appropriately nonsensical and nonhistorical – just like the baby
Jesus thing.
Bruce Mitchell wrote Sat 11/28/15 @23:14 PST:
"You don't have to be blonde to be a dumb cunt"? In Britain and
Los Angeles, you don't even have to be female.
Mildred Jaggers wrote Mon 11/30/2015 from Stanton, Ky.:
My daughter knows why the Powell County boys basketball team
was being investigated by the state police, and I'm not going to
tell you.
"Newscasters" were falling all over themselves last Thursday trying
to determine whether the shooting of 35 persons in San Bernardino,
California, on Wednesday – 14 of them fatally – was "terrorism."
What does it take? Fifteen deaths? The assassins were Muslim
(with recent travel to the Middle East). What does it take? They had
brought with them four assault rifles, 1,600 rounds of ammunition
(and had thousands more at home), and three pipe bombs (with doz-
ens more at home). What does it take?
Maybe it takes a lexicographer. The definition of "terrorism" seems
to have changed a little in the last few decades:
It used to be simply "the use of terrorizing methods." American
College Dictionary, Random House, 1957, 1984.
It used to be "threatening to commit a crime likely to result in
death or serious physical injury," or "intentionally making false
statements for the purpose of causing evacuation of a building.
Kentucky Penal Code, 1974 to date (cf. Justice Oliver Wendell
Holmes Jr.'s pronouncement about "falsely shouting 'Fire!' in a the-
ater and causing a panic" in Schenk v. United States, 1919).
It used to be "the use of force or threats to intimidate." Webster's
New World Dictionary, 1983.
But now, it seems, it's "the use of violence and intimidation in the
pursuit of political aims" (emphasis added). Oxford American Dic-
tionary, 2001, MacMillan, 2015 (sim., American Heritage, Merriam-
Webster). But see also old fogies like the Collins English Dictionary:
"Systematic use of violence and intimidation to achieve some goal"
(emphasis added). What does it take?
The newscasters kept searching for a motive, also. Here's what we
think: The rotten Muslim assassins meant to terrorize the news-
casters and the lexicographers. And they succeeded.
And they have brought us to this conclusion: We do need gun con-
rol. Limited gun control. The right to bear arms should not be ex-
tended to:
Muslims,
white men,
or police.
South Bend's most wanted: Shanay Henderson, BF, 5'4", 120 lbs, theft; James Vaughn Allen, BM, 5'5", 140 lbs, robbery; Stephanie Williams, WF, 5'5", 130 lbs, robbery (Michiana Crime Stoppers)Fort Wayne North Side High School students were voting on
line for a new athletic teams nickname and mascot to replace
"Redskins." School officials said there were eight candidates,
but they were not disclosed, not even in the Fort Wayne Jour-
al Gazette (you reckon they'll follow Goshen's Redhawks?). . . .
A majority of families who applied for a pre-school pilot
program for disadvantaged children in five of the state's larg-
est counties were turned down because funds ran out. . . .
A woman called paramedics to attend a "Homeless Jesus" she
thought was real, huddled on a bench at an intersection in Indi-
apolis' downtown. . . .
State police raided cockfight breeders in Elkhart and Marshall
counties, in northern Indiana.
[courtesy Columbus Republic]
Chasity [sic] Lewis, 29, of Mount Sterling, was arrested for rolling her 5-day-old baby's pacifier in a crushed suboxone pill, a drug used for treating opiate addiction in expectant mothers (Herald-Leader)
Bethany "Nikki" Thomas, 30, of Campbellsburg, and Megan Elston, 34, of Smithfield, were arrested for the murder of Angela Hall, 34, of LaGrange, with a baseball bat. Three men were arrested with them. (Herald-Leader)Lexington's most wanted: John Pursifull, WM, 32, 6'0", 150 lbs; Jacqueline Warner, WF, 22, 5'4", 150 lbs; Likuan Clark, BM, 25, 6'1", 173 lbs (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)
A teacher who had not been able to get a job because, she said,
she does "no sex" asked the Lexington City Council to extend the
same protections to celibates that are extended to gays (she said
also that she is "not gay" – but if she does "no sex," how would
she know? (If you click the video, take note of the color of her
hair; and watch the guy in the red shirt in the audience.)
[courtesy YouTube]
Aptly named crematorium: Burnham & Son, Bowling Green, Ky.
Kentucky's Governor Stevie settled on Abraham Lincoln for the name
of the new bridge connecting Louisville with Jeffersonville, Indiana –
Col. Chickenites, eat your hearts out (it won't be the first bridge named
for the Kentucky-born President, who grew up in Indiana and settled in
Illinois, nor the second).
[courtesy WDRB]
The entirely assumed names, by the way, were Adam Ant, Yusuf Islam,
Yusef Lateef, Tupak Shakur, Shorty Shitstain and Cat Stevens (same per-
son as Yusuf Islam; he changed his phony name).
"The towels were so thick in that hotel I could hardly close my suitcase."Quotations of the weak (give radio announcers microphones, and they'll mangle the language):
– Yogi Berra
"Just what is the criteria that you use?"
– Indira Lakshmanan, National Public Radio's Here & Now
" . . . Sad Berdadido . . . ."
– Joe Corcoran, WKYU-FM, Bowling Green, Ky.
"That's exactly right."
– Shankar Vedantam
Quotations
of the Wheat:"I went to the dentist because my teeth were getting yellow. He said |
"Too much is more than enough."
– John M. Greer
A former Islamic extremist said it's OK to call out Mus-
lims for espousing a theocracy. . . . Police in Paris fired
tear gas at demonstrators protesting greenhouse gas. . . .
. . . Saudi Arabia's Justice Ministry said it would sue a
"Tweeter" who denounced the death penalty given to a
poet for apostasy. . . . The Islamic State (ISIS, ISIL) be-
gan an antismoking campaign.
[courtesy Harper's, NPR]
Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Reagan Gemberling, WF, 27, 5'1", 120 lbs, possession of dangerous drugs (and firewater) (Abilene Crime Stoppers)
Former National Football League quarterback Tim Tebow
was dumped by former Miss USA Olivia Culpo because
he wouldn't sleep with her.
When my brother comes home from college, he stays up untilDear Sister:
3 in the morning, sleeps until 2 in the afternoon, and leaves his
chores and homework until the very last minute. I don't under-
stand why he doesn't keep a regular sleep schedule or take
care of his homework and chores early in the week. He dumps
his laundry on the floor and "forgets" about it until he has no
clothing left, something that stresses him out and makes him
lash out at me. And he complains to me about incidents that oc-
curred years ago and still make him angry.
I've tried to talk to my mother about it, but I end up sounding
like a broken record. "Steve" manages to be responsible for him-
self at school, so why doesn't that responsibility follow him
home?
Pulling My Hair Out
|
Gus
Canine
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Borf
Books borf@borfents.com
Ideas
for a Better America Box 413 The Columbus Book of Euchre Brownsville KY 42210 War Stories: The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer 270-597-2187 Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher Natty Bumppo, writer/editor |