Fred Dean wrote Sun 4/22/18 @17:35 PDT:

Maybe "Shoulg" for a homophone of the first syllable
of  "sugar"  for  a  nickname?  With  a "silent l"  as  in
"coulda, woulda, shoulda."

That's  great!  Takes the Google out of  "Shoog."  Now we're
wondering if that piece of mucus you extract from your nose
should be spelled "boulger." The standard dictionary spelling
is "booger," but – we've got an old friend nicknamed "Boog,"
and we've never been sure what to call him.              – Editor


Ted Fiskevold wrote Sun 4/22/18 211:45 CDT:

Re Leila Fadel:  She  could  be  Q:  Questioning her
sexuality,  or I: Intersex,  or A: Asexual. LGTBQIA.

A 7-month-old giraffe escaped the Fort Wayne zoo. . . .

A 543-pound man in Muncie managed to lose  375  pounds
over a couple of decades (do the math – that's down to 168). . . .

Notre Dame, Temple, Carnegie Mellon and at least 15 other
universities unfriended Bill Cosby,  to whom they had awar-
ded honorary degrees over three decades. . . . .

materika.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Matthew Reed, WM, 6'0", 160 lbs, violation of court order, residential entry; Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Erika Lynn Weber, WF, assault with a dangerous weapon; Corey Tiwone Valentine Jr., BM, tampering with an electronic monitor; Aziz Wahhab Dixon, BM, unarmed robbery, unlawful imprisonment (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

Congressman Todd Rokita, of Brownsburg, published a chil-
dren's book  trashing a rival U.S. Senate candidate in the Re-
publican primary,  Congressman Luke Messer  (of  McLean,
Virginia!)
                                                [courtesy Columbus Republic]

A group known as "Identity Evropa," which describes it-
self as "an American Identitarian organization," placed a
sign saying "Patriot,  hero,  statesman – our  history  will
not be erased" on the  Jefferson  Davis  statue in the state
capitol,  from which a plaque calling him  "patriot,  hero,
statesman" had been removed last month. . . .

A state trooper investigating a report  of  dogs  on an I-71
bridge in Henry County was knocked off the bridge,  and
the caller who reported the dogs also was struck by a sem-
trailer in a bizarre three-vehicle accident  as  they  walked
on the bridge.  The caller was killed;  the  trooper  fell  30
feet and survived.
                                                                  [courtesy LEX18]

hagdixie.jpg Louisville's most wanted: Richard Hagan, WM, 32, 5'9", 140 lbs, probation violation, forgery; Dixie Frost, WF,24, 5'4", 140 lbs, muppery, failure to appear; Ladanya M. Dean, BF, 38, 5'8", 190 lbs, buppery, failure to appear; McCormick Kyle [sic], WM [sic], 19, 5'11", 150 lbs, parole violation, wanton endangerment, tampering with evidence (Kentuckiana Crime Stoppers)

Classic Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said October 5, 2014): "The reason Jesus was not born in West Virginia is that they could   not find a virgin, let alone three wise men." – Leonard Simon

sherydan.jpg Wanted in Tom Green County, Texas: Sherry Lea Carr, WF, 47, 5'7", 180 lbs, unauthorized absence; Danielle Reyes, HF, 23, 5'5", 129 lbs, credit card abuse; Nicholas Raie Gonzalez, HM, 23, 5'1", 110 lbs, controlled substance possession; Janie Marie Saldana, HF, 30, 5'2", 150 lbs, controlled substance possession; Veronica Michelle Gonzalez, HF, 39, 5'2", 143 lbs, possession (Tom Green County Sheriff)

Deaths:
                Gertrude Jeanette, 103
                Charles Neville, 79
               
                Lorine Gatton, 78
                Larry Loren Loree, 86
                                                                    [Louisville Courier-Journal]

wacogren.jpg Wanted in Waco, Tom Green County, Texas, Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas), Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas): Richard Hernandez, HM, 40, 5'9", 201 lbs, sex offendeer reg. violation; Jimmie Dell Tucker, WM, 23, 5'9", 200 lbs, burglary; Kyrell Deon White, BM, a/k/a Kyrell Devon Beard, "Rell,", 26, 5'5", 120 lbs, prob. & fireamrs viols.; Pamela Leija, HF, 30, 5'2", 155 lbs, violation of probation, possession; Jacob Rogers, WM, 6'0", 125 lbs, violation of probation, burglary of habitation (City of Waco, Tom Green County Sheriff, Sedgwick County Sheriff, Texoma Crime Stoppers)

Rival of the Rhode Island bank robber reported last week  to have thrown
money over Taylor Swift's fence to impress her with a marriage proposal?
The AR-15 killer at the Waffle House in Nashville, Tennessee, claimed he
was being stalked by Taylor Swift. . . . The Tennessee House of Represen-
tatives cut $250,000 of funds headed for Memphis after Memphis allowed
removal of statues of  Jefferson   Davis  and  Nathan Bedford Forrest. . . .
German hip-hoppers (if you can imagine such a thing) got German equiv-
vents of a "Grammy" (if you can imagine such a thing) for a "song" boas-
ting  of  bodies  "more defined than Auschwitz prisoners"  and vowing to
“make another Holocaust, show up with a Molotov."

                                                                                [courtesy Harper's, AP]

Pro golfer Justin Rose took off his shoes,  his  socks  and his trousers
to hit a ball out of the water at the Zurich Classic tournament in New
Orleans, Louisiana.

DISCUSSION GROUP:     Don't  forget!    Readers interested in intellectual dissection of important current events are invited to attend  the Weekly World News Round Table at the offices of Borf Books outside Browns- ville, Kentucky, just after church every Sunday.  Guest  speakers lined up for meetings in  the near future  include  Chuck  Falcon, of Bowling Green, Ky., said to be the long  lost  brother  of  Pete Falcon.                           [photo from VIP Bowling Green magazine, April, 2018]

lifeyork.jpg Life Saver Dude: 'Hey! My favorite Yorkshire hog is back!" Sarah: "I cannot tell a lie. I can only tell a lot of them."

:

A wild turkey that had been stalking motorists on Highway
3 in New Castle was struck and killed in a hit-and-run. . . .

A gay pride festival drew 2,000 celebrants in Vice President
Pence' home town, Columbus. . . .

Gus the skateboarding bulldog was kidnapped in Carmel. . . .

A 3-year-old girl shot and wounded her pregnant mother in
a car parked outside a store in Merrillville. . . .

The Multi-Institutional Academic Health Science & Research
Center, still a-building in Evansville, was renamed the Evans-
ville Center for Health Sciences. . . .

Four persons were injured in a brawl of 150 worshipers at a
Sikh temple in Greenwood.
                                                [courtesy Columbus Republic]

hectrbru.jpg Indianapolis' most wanted: Hector Angel-Flores, possession of cocaine; Courtney Bruce, Battery with injury; Michael Hall, fail to register as a sex offendeer (Crime Stoppers of Central Indiana)

Father Jim Sichko,  of Madison County, Kentucky,  present-
ed a bottle of 23-year-old Pappy Van Winkle bourbon to the
Pope at the Vatican.
                                     [courtesy Lexington Herald-Leader]

lukasava.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Mindy Epperson, WF, 36, 5'1", 120 lbs, hottentrot; Wendy Pendygraft, WF, 40, height & weight not disclosed, therefore ineligible for Yorkshire hog competition; Lindsay Huber, WM, 31, 5'8", 150 lbs, up to no good; Shana Mari' Lukasavage, 32, robbery, assault w/a knife; Haley Hill, WF, 23, 5'7", hottentrot (dragged kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

Hodgenville, pop. 3,000, voted 347 to 337 to go wet. . . .

Twin sisters gave premature birth to daughters the same day
in Lexington. . . .

A crash of semitrailers left popsicles strewn all over I-64 in
Woodford County.
                                                                   [courtesy LEX18]

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): " 'Tis better to incur more debt than to deprive oneself of    tobacco products." – Leonard Simon

What do Shug Jordan, Sug York and Suge Knight have in common?

Answer:  All  have  nicknames  with  phonetic  misspellings of
                   the first syllable of  "sugar."   But  "Shug"  and  "Sug"
                   rhyme with "mug,"  and "Suge" rhymes with "huge."
                   They (and we) need a phonetically correct  spelling!
                   Our   suggestion  is  "Shoog"  (but  even  that  could
                   rhyme with the first syllable of "Google").  What do
                   you, our readers, suggest?

Is  National Public Radio's Leila Fadel "lesbian," "bisexual," "gay,"
"transgender" or "queer"?

She's been doing a  series  on  "LGBTQ"  in the Muslim
community.   Her name (pronounced "LAY-la FAH-dle")
just screams Muslim  (she began her NPR career  as  the
Cairo correspondent), and, who else would care?

                    April 16:  Cat Osterman, 35
                                     Lara Dutta, 40
                                     Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, 71
                                     Bobby Vinton, 83
                                     Pope Benedict, 91
                                     Mary Isobel Catherine Bernadette O'Brien ("Dusty Springfield," 1939–1999)
                                     Louis the Pious (778-840)
                    April 17:  Victoria Beckham ("Posh Spice"), 44
                                     Norman Julius "Boomer" Esiason, 57
                    April 18: 
                                    Ailson Fillingham, 35
                                    Conan O'Brien, 55
                                    Ali Khamenei, 79
                    April 19:  Ashley Judd, 50
                                     Valerie Plame, 55
                    April 20:  John Paul Stevens, 98
                                     Hitler (1889-1945)
                    April 21:  Queen Elizabeth II, 92
                    April 22:  Jack Nicholson, 81
                                     Queen Isabella (1451-1504)

A teacher at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Flo-
rida,  where 17 persons were shot and killed in February,  was  arrested
for leaving a loaded gun in a beach restroom, where an intoxicated man
discovered it and fired it at a wall. . . . Great Britain's High Court struck
down a London suburban ordinance  prohibiting  dogs' peeing on lamp-
posts. . . . A 26-year-old man in robbed a bank in Connecticut,  drove to
Rhode Island  and threw $1,600 over a fence surrounding Taylor Swift's
mansion,  telling police he was hoping to propose to her. . . . A hundred
fifty scientific, legal and medical experts on robotics signed an open let-
ter warning the European Union not to  grant  rights  to  "electronic per-
sons."  . . .  NASA sent samples of human and bull sperm to the Interna-
tional Space Station.  .  .  . The king of Swaziland changed the country's
name to the  Kingdom of eSwatini,  to avoid its confusion with Switzer-
land.
                                                                             [courtesy Harper's, AP]


   

wendelda.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas): Wendell Dane Bivens, 32, brown hair green eyes, 225 lbs, 5'7", PR bond canceled, burglary of habitation; David Ray Wilson, 22, blonde hair blue eyes, 140 lbs, 6'2", failure to comply with registration requirements (Wichita Falls Crime Stoppers); daviodim.jpg Davio Dimitri Sawtelle, 31, black hair, brown eyes, 240 lbs, 6'0", manufacture delivery of controlled substance pg1 o/400g and for botched leprechaun disguise; Texima's most wanted fugitives of the week April 13, 2018, call crime st5oppers 9403229888 cash reward for tips leading to arrest, these fugitives should be considered armed & dangerous

mantraze.jpg Wanted in Waco: Mantraze Nakebie Landrum, BM, 27, 5'8", 140 lbs, assault/strangulation; Steven Jarome Gunn, BM, 36, 5'11", 202 lbs, assault; Deshawn Slaughter, BM, 29, 5'7", 185 lbs, unauthorized absence from a corrrectional center (funny way to spell "escape") (City of Waco); Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Andres Humberto Barrales, BM [that's what is says, folks!],24, 5'9", 150 lbs, aggrav. excape; Terenda Michelle Daniels, WF, 45, a/k/a Terenda Michelle Piland, Terenda Michelle Deerre, 5'2", 170 lbs, not quite a Yorkshire hog, but it is said that if you throw her pussy into the air, it becomes fire! probation violation for forgery (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

I am a 50-year-old woman.  I have two adult chil-
dren and two grandchildren.  I'm a recovering ad-
dict.    My daughter chose to stay with me during
the painful years.  Now, after many years alone, I
have met someone who loves me, and I  love  her
– yes,  "her."   My "partner" is a woman.  "Sally"
and  I  have  been living together for almost three
years.   I moved out of state a year ago to be with
her.

My son is OK with my relationship  –  and respect-
ful, and kind.   But my daughter is a different story.
She is not happy with my decision to be with a wo-
man.  She and Sally have had arguments,  and I am
tired of being put in the middle. They curse and say
harmful things to each other. I have spoken to Sally
and asked her to stop saying hurtful things. I've ask-
ed the same of my daughter.  They  ignore  me  and
continue not to like each other and to treat the other
with disrespect. I don't know what to do. My daugh-
ter doesn't want me even to  talk  about my relation-
ship to her or around the grandkids.  She  wants  me
to pretend Sally doesn't exist.  What can I do?

                                                    Stuck in the Middle

tydrickj.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texax, not Kansas): Tydrick Jamar Robinson, BM, 26, 6'2", 185 lbs, sexual assault; Johannah Catherine Hooper, WF, 29, 5'2", 170 lbs, theft from elderly; Mary Lee Webster, BF, 30, a/k/a Mary Savord, 5'2", 110 lbs, theft x3; Austin James Wyatt, WM, 25, 6'0", 195 lbs, sexual assault (Abilene Crime Stoppers)

lifepeng.jpg The defense requests a reduced bail as my client is not a flight risk [penguin] Life Saver Dude: Motion granted

:

Publius Leget wrote Sun 4/8/18 @10:13 CDT:

OK, Google's "Know what your data knows" is gram-
matically incorrect, technically.  "Data"  is  the  plural
of  the  singular  "datum."   But more and more people
are using it as a singular;  and, as a collective noun,  it
has  singular  qualities.  "Know what your data know"
sounds awkward – ignorant, even.

You've got a point.  But, try "Know what your data show."    – Editor

Honkin DeSpain wrote Thurs 3/29/18:

1.  The  hog  in your perps of Abilene of March 18 is
      Bobby Herrera (HM, 32, 5' 8", 300 lbs.), not De-
      lores Denise Rodriguez (HF, 26, 4' 11", 250 lbs.)

2.  Your funny beer brand of the week March 18, Bod-
      hi, is Sanskrit for "enlightened."  Is it a "lite" beer?

Not  exactly.   It's said to be an "American  style  India  pale
ale."  From the Columbus (Ohio) Brewing Company.    – Ed.

The Bristol Public Library, in Elkhart County, adopted a cat            named Page Turner (no kin to Summer Turner). . . .

A zoning appeals board's approval of plans to build the first
mosque in Carmel was appealed to court by opponents. . . .

A judge overruled a Hamilton County ordinance prohibiting
signs on rural roads. . . .

The overpopulated Vanderburgh County Jail,  in  Evansville,
was moving 80 inmates, some to Daviess County, Kentucky,
across the Ohio River,  and  some  to Jefferson County,  Illi-
nois, across the Wabash.
                                                 [courtesy Columbus Republic]

sheilama.jpg Wanted in Berrienn County, Michigan: Sheila Marie Arrivet, WF, absconding parole; Jeremy Lee Sliter, WM, absconding paroles (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

wilosven.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Wilow Cherry, WM, 45, 6'1", 175 lbs, transgender; Robery Conley, WM, 38, 5'7", 150 lbs, mobery, wimpery; Summer Turner, WF, 34, 5'6", 130 lbs, still falling (2nd appearance, and, she's lost 30 lbs! no kin to Page Turner); Dashawn Fitzpatrick, BM, 23, 5'11", 125 lbs, Don't worry, be happy!; Sven Reed, WM, 43, 5'8", 155 lbs, stranger in a strange land (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

At least 25 counties and six towns closed their schools Friday
as teachers called in absent in advance  with plans to attend a
demonstration in Frankfort,  the state capital,  against  educa-
tion funding  cuts  (the legislature overrode Governor Selfie's
vetoes of spending bills) . . .




The marching band was eliminated at Eastern  Kentucky  Uni-
versity. . . .

German shepherds, pit bulls, huskies, Rottweilers, mastiffs, Do-
berman pinschers, Alaskan malamutes, chows, great Danes, St.
Bernards and Akitas were prohibited by a neighborhood devel-
oper in a suburb of Lexington.
                                                                         [courtesy LEX18]

"Don't worry; B's happy."         – Malachi

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "You don't have to be a weatherman to know which way   the wind is blowing." – Leonard Simon

drewbrit.jpg Arrested in Abilene: Drew Gardiner Goolsby, WM, 43, 6'1", 165 lbs, indecency with a child; Brittany Nichole Fortune, WF, 34, 5'3", 140 lbs, forgery; Ashley Nicole Leach, WF, 32, 150 lbs, meth (Abilene Crime Stoppers)

festerje.jpg Celebrity lookalikes: Fester Addams: Arrested in Abilene: Jerry Earl Strange, WM, 54, 5'7", 130 lbs, indecency w/a child

Walden Pond was reported polluted by urine ("On Golden Pond"). . . .
"Detroit Zoo Poo" was being distributed to the first 1,000 visitors to a
GreenFest celebration.  . . . Three people were killed and 100 more in-
jured in Illinois by fake marijuana laced with rat poison. . . . The Lou-
isiana Senate passed  a  bill  to  prohibit  bestiality  (10 senators voted
"neigh,"  Jan commented).  A previous law prohibited "crimes against
nature," but that included sodomy,  and was found unconstitutional 15
years ago. . . . A city commissioner in Tallahassee, Florida,  said he u-
sed almost all of the funds from his state senate campaign to pay an at-
torney to represent him in an FBI investigation of public corruption so
that he could "clear his name" and "remain a viable candidate.". . .The
ex-fiancée of a former Nevada political adviser accused him of forcing
her to sign a contract to be his "slave and property" and requiring her to
wear a collar and be nude in his presence at all times. .  .  . A Connecti-
cut man killed his daughter,  to whom he was married,  and  their  baby
son – and himself – after she left him. . . . A tiger reported roaming the
streets of New York turned out to be a raccoon  ("Well,"  Jan shrugged,
"they both have perky ears and striped tails").

                              [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, HuffPost, NBC.com, AP]

dakotalm.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Dakota C. McGinnis, WM, 24, 6'2", 186 lbs, blonde hair, green eyes, theft, burglary; D'Mario Sanquez Willis, BM, 22, 5'10", 140 lbs, black hair, brown eyes, tattoos on stomach, left arm & chest, probation viol, aggrav. robbery

    

kristjes.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas): Kristin Sims, 31, blonde hair blue eyes, 116 lbs, 5'6", violation of probation, addault of public servant; Jessica Monique Reed, 32, black hair, brown eyes, 180 lbs, 5'7", bond insufficient, theft of property o/$2,500 - u/$30,000 (Y hog of week); micblair.jpg Michael Lee Blair, 47, brown hair, blue eyes, 170 lbs, 6'1", aggravated sexual assault (you don't have to have crossed eyes to get in); Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week, April 6, 2018, call crime stoppers  940-322-9888 cash reward for tips leading to arrrest these fugitives should be considered armed & dangerous

Today  is  April  15,  the  opening  day  of the major league baseball season!
Oops!  That was in the old days.  At least three games this season have been
snowed out:  Opening day at New York's Yankee Stadium  (below)  April  2
(vs. Tampa Bay Rays),  the Phillies at New York Mets game that night,  and
the Seattle Mariners at Minneapolis last Sunday, April 8.  But  the  Yankees
did manage to open their season  April 1,  at  Toronto,  slightly to the north.
. . .

Isaiah Thomas,  the National Basketball Association's Los Angeles Lakers
point guard, was named after the Detroit Pistons Hall of Fame point guard
Isiah Thomas,  but his mother insisted on spelling his name correctly. . . .

NASCAR driver Tony Stewart settled a wrongful death suit brought by the
family of a younger driver who was killed in an auto race in 2014.

When I turned 70 I started taking drama classes twice a week.
My wife insisted that because none of our friends or relatives
were doing it, neither should I.    So I suggested we live apart.
I bought a small apartment and live alone.  We see each other
regularly, go to the cinema, the theater, visit friends, vacation,
etc.

Every now and then she raises the topic again, saying she feels
"betrayed, offended, abandoned"  and suggests we stop seeing
each other   for two to three days  "so she can recover from the
pain I inflict on her."

I don't think I am doing anything wrong.   I'm  not  cheating  on
her, and she knows that and doesn't accuse me explicitly. I think
she is jealous and distrustful because the women taking the clas-
ses are beautiful and not because of anything I have done. What
do you think?
                                                                  Frustrated in Bulgaria

lifemilgjpg Life Saver Dude: Hey! Are you the one they call Milton Burl Ives Matter? Milton points out new dish at Keen's Diner, Bowling  Green, Ky.: Grenn Beans roll

msn.com  addresses –  four hotmail.com subscri-
bers got neither Tabloid Headlines nor the Sunday paper in a plain brown wrapper,
and one on msm.com got neither – and although all were sent by 7:15 a.m. Sunday,
Central time, we got no "mail delivery failure" notice until 11:16 a.m. Wednesday):

Honkin DeSpain wrote Thurs 3/29/18:

Neither a crane nor a goose has legs protruding from
its back, but I agree that the picture was "Photoshop-
ped":    You can see a thin white line around the bird
where it was clipped from another image.

A team from Columbus was joining the Women's Football
Alliance (that's tackle football, not soccer).

                                              [courtesy Columbus Republic]

carltress.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Carltres Underwood, BM, 5'11", 155 lbs, escape; Sarah Buck, WF, 5'6", 155 lbs, fraud; Tauheedah McGee, BF, 5'3", 140 lbs, fraud; Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Lennie Leroy Cole, WM, criminal sex; Celebrity lookalike: Lyle Lovett (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

A motorist with a Ohio license plate reading "IM GOD" was
denied such when he moved to Kentucky two years ago;  so,
with  help  from the American Civil Liberties Union and the
Freedom from Religion Foundation,  he  sued;  and a federal
judge denied the state's motion to dismiss last week. . . .

The same judge refused to order Governor Selfie to open his
Tweeter Twitter and Clutterbook Facebook accounts to ever-
yone.
                                      [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

missione.jpg Congregation at the Mission in Brownsville on Easter Fools Sunday (Tabloid Headlihnes photo)

A bill in the legislature would place a sales tax  on  services,
including landscaping,  janitorial service, care for small ani-
mals,  golf courses, dry cleaning,  fitness and recreation cen-
ters, and repair and installation, including auto repair. . . .

A burglar in Paducah was reported to have performed a "lewd
act" on the male homeowner's toothbrush, videoed it and tele-
phoned it to the homeowner several days later; but (how rude!)
the news gave us no detail on the "lewd act" (jacked off on it?
Stuck it up his ass?  Imagination required).
                                                                        [courtesy LEX18]

craighed.jpg Craig Hedger, WM, 33, 5'10", 200 lbs, suspected of being up to no good; William Hogan, WM, 32, 5'7", 150 lbs, suspected of being from from Edmonson County; David Sparks, WM, 33, 6'0", 160 lbs, suspected of being from Rushville, Indiana (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "She asked for it 'doggie style' – and when she   came, she barked!" – Leonard Simon

Borf 's weekly BONUS:  

A Maryland goose hunter was knocked out  by a 12-pound Canada goose
that fell on his head after being shot. . . . The annual Penis Festival arous-
ed the usual interest in Kawasaki, Japan.
                                                                         [courtesy LEX18, HuffPost]

This is an issue I imagine many people are having.    Some-
times my family members post things on line that I disagree
with.  Many  times  I've found myself typing up a comment,
only to decide against clicking the "submit" button.  I really
don't want to get into arguments with loved ones about poli-
tics;  so I refrain from saying anything.  I just talk to friends
who already pretty much agree with me on the major issues.
But that doesn't seem right, either.  Isn't that part of why our
country is so polarized?   I feel it's my responsibility to have
civilized discussions with people with whom  I  disagree  so
I might change their  minds  and  they  might  change  mine.
Should I jump into these conversations and speak my mind,
or continue to keep quiet?  Is sharing caring?
                                                                            Unsure in Ohio

jeryearl.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Jerry Earl Strange, WM, 54, 5'7", 130 lbs, indecency w/a child; Rawuane Lamar Wallace, BM, 21, 5'11", 175 lbs, aggravated sexual assault of a child; Jason Aaron Holland, WM, 20, 6'1", 180 lbs, aggravated robbery; Julian Ray Solis, HM, 30, 5'5", 180 lbs, DUI, sexual assault of a child; Oscar Rangel Cantu, HM, 38, 5'6", 130 lbs, aggravated assault of a child (Abilene Crime Stoppers)

selenaba,jpg. Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas): Selena Alvarado, 22, 240 lbs, 5'7", violation of probation, possession of controlled substand pg2 o/1g-u/4g, Yorkshire hog of the week; Baylee Rose Moore, 22, 120 lbs, 5'7", surety off bond, engaging in organized criminal activity; Leonardo Garza, 51, 170 lbs, 5'4", bond revocation, manufacture / delivery of controlled substance (Texoma's most wanted); Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Harry James McSorley Jr., WM, 55, 5'7", 145 lbs, DUI, fleeing police (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

It was rumored that shouting "Dilly! Dilly!"  had been prohibited at the Mas-
ters golf tournament. . . .

An eagle landed on the shoulder of Seattle Mariners pitcher James Paxton on
the baseball field. . . .

teairajo.jpg Not-so hotties? We've been calling them "basketball hotties," but did you notice that none of the women playing in the NCAA Final Four basketball tournament had tits? A prime example was "flatter than a pancake" Teaira McCowan (right), Mississippi State's 6'7" junior center . . . Her teammate junior guard Jordan Danberry, 5'8", wore her jugs in her hair . . . ; referees.jpg Some of the women referees were slightly better endowed

More dumb news from the NCAA:

The coach of the University of Michigan basketball team,  runner-up in
the NCAA men's tournament, is John Beilein.  That  could  rhyme with
Harvey Weinstein,  but it's mispronounced in  the  opposite  direction –
as a homophone of  "beeline."  It could be pronounced as a homophone
of "  byline,"  which would be correct;  or  it  could  be  mispronounced
"buy lean" or "be lean."

lifethog.jpg Life Saver Dude: "Oh! It's the Yorkshire Hog of the week!" Cover of New York magazine photo of Donald Trump, "It's the corruption, stupid!"

:

Publius Leget wrote Sun 3/25/18 @10:21 CDT:

The latest quotation of the Wheat,  "God loves America,
but not Donald Trump":  Does that mean Donald Trump
does not love America,  or that God  does not love Don-
ald Trump?"

We checked with the Wheat.  Both, he said.    – Editor

Etta Jean Darrig wrote Mon @09:35 CDT:

If I ever get arrested, I want it to be in Michigan.

A 25-year-old English teacher working and living in Japan
is running for Congress on line for the seat from the Evans-
ville district. . . .

Roads were blocked in Evansville's Wesselman Woods Na-
tur Preserve to protect salamander crossings during mating
season.
                                              [courtesy Columbus Republic]

chislema.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Christopher Chism, BM, 5'9", 170 lbs, domestic battery; Ashley Lema, WF, 5'5", 120 lbs, meth; Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Jack Dean Fein, WM, domestic violence x3; Marcus Lanell Davis-Reyes, BM, interfering with electronic communication (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

At least 20 Kentucky counties closed their schools Fri-
day – not for "Good Friday," but because of teacher ab-
sences  in  protest  of the state legislature's reduction of
pensions. . . .

The plaque on Jefferson Davis' statue at the state capitol
referring to him as a "patriot. hero and statesman" was fi-
nally removed.
                               [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

rambolau.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Timothy Rambo, WM, 37, 6'0", 200 lbs, mental; Lauren Crawford, 28, 5'3", 140 lbs, female mobery; Tamara Fisher, WF, 45, refusal to divulge height & weight; Daquise Jackson, BM, 22, 5'11", 170 lbs, obfuscation; Delito, BM, 30, 6'2", 230 lbs, insufficient name (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "The pussy was so good, when you threw it up in the air it became   sunshine." – Leonard Simon

sabrinar.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Sabrina Kay Richmond, BF, 45, 5'5", 200 lbs, Yorkshire hog of the week, probation violation on felony theft; Renee V. Garcia, WF, 38, 5'2", 125 lbs, battery, probation viol.; Sherri L. Wertman, WF, 50, 4'9", 125 lbs, false information (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

Maarib Alhishmawi, 16, went missing from her home in San Antonio, Tex-
as, after her parents poured hot cooking oil on her and beat her with broom-
sticks for refusing to enter an arranged marriage for which the parents were
to get $20,000  (she was found two months later,  and now she and her five
siblings are in Child Protective Services care, and her parents are in jail). . . .
71½ per cent of Maryland's medical marijuana dispensaries ran out of prod-
uct a week after opening. . . .  Snake removal calls exceeded fire calls 9 to 1
to the Bangkok,  Thailand,  fire department in 2017. . . . A pupil at a middle
school in Round Rock,  Texas,  hired a stripper for an 11:30 a.m. gig  at  the
school on his parents' credit card. . . .  Elizabeth  Smart  asked that her name
be removed from the "Elizabeth Smart Law." . . .  Sweet Jesus ice cream, of
Canada, was being boycotted by some Christians. . . . Syrian president Bash-
ar al-Assad appeared in a video  wearing sunglasses  and driving a silver Hy-
undai into  Eastern  Ghouta  to congratulate his forces for a victory in which
they killed 1,500 civilians.
                                                [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP – sorry about
the lack of links; some of this stuff came from the print journal Funny Times]

robnicol.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas): Robert Oswald, 27, brown hair eyes, 211 lbs, 6'0", violation of probation, possession of controled substance; Nicole Marcangelo, 24, brown hair eyes, 145 lbs, 5'4", violation of probation, hinder apprehension or prosecution; Jacqueline Green, 47, black hair brown eyes, 159 lbs, 5'1", violation of probation, possession of controlled substance (Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week, wanted as of March 23, 2018, call Crime Stoppers 940-322-9888, cash reward for tips leading to arrest, these fugitives should be considered armed & dangerous)

I am a bisexual man in my 20's.  I prefer women, but I've had
casual sexual relationships with men.  I'm monogamous, also.
I'm comfortable with my sexuality, and realize that it's fine to
be attracted to both genders  but  still  to have a strong prefer-
ence.  My friends and family are very understanding and sup-
portive.   My  issue  is that I have had trouble telling women I
date that I am bisexual.  Many handle it fine, but some get up-
set.   A  girl  I'd  been  dating  seriously for more than a month
kicked me out when I casually mentioned it at her house.  She
texted  me  that  she  "had never felt more lied to"  and  asked,
"Why didn’t you tell me you were gay?"  Such comments hurt
me, but I feel guilty also for hurting her.  I don't think I led her
on or lied to her, but I still feel bad that she is upset.  How do I
bring this up better next time,  so that I can fully explain where
I am coming from; and how long do I wait?
                                                                       Breaking the News

lifesuns.jpg Life Saver Dude: "Does she make sunshine?" Dairy Queen honey hot strips

One hundred ten thousand condoms were distributed to the
athletes  at the recent Winter Olympic Games in South Ko-
rea – about 37 condoms per competitor. . . .

We misspoke two weeks ago – neither the women's nor the
men's NCAA basketball tournament Final Four  will be on
TV ("And," Jonell said, "they think they're doin' it right"). . . .

A'ja Wilson, University of South Carolina women's basket-
ball star,  is  dyslexic – and, that's actually how her name is
spelled – what did we expect?  (pronounced "Asia").   And
then  there's  Asia  Durr,  a  University of Louisville  junior,
who stutters. . .

katilou1.jpg katilou2.jpg Basketball hottie Kaitie Lou Samuelson University of Connecticut