Honkin de Spain wrote Tues 1/19/2021:

I note in your coronavirus statistics  in dumb news
from Indiana and Kentucky for January 10 that the
Hoosiers had had  561,579  infections  with  6,099
deaths,  for an average of  1.1 per cent dead per in-
fection,  and  that  the  Rednecks had had  300,379
with 4,525 deaths, for a 1.5 per cent dead rate.  So,
in which of these dumb states is it safer to live?

Steve Yates wrote Tues 01/26/21 @12:19 CST:

Better advice to Mr. Simon  than  Dear  Eleanor's
might  be, "Just tell 'em you've got ugly teeth and
you're a faggot!"

Tested positive, 628,069; died, 9,967.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

Zacharia  J.  Schmidt, 35, and wife Chelsea M.,  35,  were arrest- ed  in  the  Christmas Day fatal shooting of Tiffany Allen,  40,  in Beech Grove.                       [courte-  sy Indianapolis Star]

jonjesse.jpg South Bend, Ind.'s, most wanted: Jonathan Williams, BM, 37, 5'9", 165 lbs, criminal recklessness, intimidation; Lexington, Ky.'s: Jesse McKinney, WM, 32, 6'1", 190 lbs, theft, trespassing (Michiana, Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)

Tested positive, 362,722; died, 3,926.
                                                           [courtesy N.Y. Times]

The Distilled Spirits Council of the United States reported a 5.-
5 per cent growth in revenue from Kentucky bourbon and oth-
er liquors for 2020 over 2019,  with consumers spending more
money in the "off premises" retail sector as so many  bars  and
restaurants were forced to close or scale back  during the coro-
navirus pandemic (but champagne sales fell by $1.2 billion)

                                                    [courtesy Whiskycast, LEX18]

The high school in Murray,  in western Kentucky,  was  put  on
lockdown last Monday on a report of shots fired, and evacuated
the next day on a bomb threat.  On Friday, 19-year-old Kya Nel-
son,  of Racine,  Wisconsin,  was arrested for making the threats
to the school.  His connection with Murray, if any, was not repor-
ted.
                                                    [courtesy Racine Journal Times]

Brood X periodical cicadas ("17-year  locusts)"  will  return  this
summer.
                                            [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

Dog of the week:  Chandler Palmer  The only  free-biting  hound  dog  that compares with a pit bull  or a rottweil- er,   and the  only  breed  we  know  of besides  Great  Dane  whose  first  and last names must be capitalized (named after a 19th century Englishman said to have kept all breeds known to man).

markobus.jpg Wanted in Greenville, Ohio: Cecil E. Elliott, 41, aggravated meancing; Chad E. Elliott, 37, aggravated possession of carfentanil; Mariah N. Kobus, 26, meth; James E. Johnson III, 26, possession of acryfentanyl; lHomer J. Wilson, 32, joy riding (Darke County Crime Stoppers)

Sarah Huckabee Smuckabee  announced her candidacy for governor of
Arkansas. . . . Rapper Trey Songz was arrested at the National Football
Conference championship game in Kansas City, Missouri, for not wear-
ing a face mask. . . . Target stopped selling Chaokoh coconut milk over
reports of monkey exploitation in its production. . . . Joe Exotic, subject
of the documentary Tiger King, had a limousine waiting outside his pris-
on anticipating a pardon from the last President but attributed his failure
to being “too innocent and too gay." .  .  . Research indicated that the sin-
cerity of a smile cannot be gauged through eye contact. . . . Michael Stra-
han tested positive. .  .  . The San Francisco, California,  school board re-
solved to discontinue the use of  George  Washington,  Dianne  Feinstein
and  Abraham  Lincoln  for school names.

                                                                 [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

 

lajonboo.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Regina Lajon Booker, BF, 30, 5'7", 190 lbs, aggrav. assault; Wanted in Waco: Amber Ray Tellez, WF, 40, 5'6", 165 lbs, evading arrest; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls,Texas): Shane Toledo, WM, 28, 5'7", 160 lbs, aggravated domestic battery; Michael Machado, WM, 32, 5'6", 185 lbs, prob. violation (ag. dom. battery) (Abilene & Waco Crime Stoppers, Sedgwick County (Kans.) Sheriff)

Carly Pearce ultra-hillbillied the National Football
League National Football Conference National An-
them. . . . Brandon Niederauer merely rocked it for
the AFC. . . . Major league baseball's Hall of Fame
election produced no new members  this  year,  de-
spite candidates as prominent as Barry Bonds, Curt
Schilling and Roger Clemens.

zenobias.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green CountySheriff): Zenobia Slaughter, 19, family assault; Laura Sheffield, 35, ctrl. substs.; Krystiana Ratcliffe, 19, theft; Nathan Gonzalez, 20, manslaughter; Amanda Martinez, 27, theft; Emily Rodriguez, 28, DUI; Ashley Johnson, 24, DUI; Hector Martinez, 19, DUI, marij.

DISCUSSION GROUP:     Don't  forget!   Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events are  invi- ted  to  attend the Weekly World News Round Ta- ble at the offices of Borf  Books  outside Browns- ville,  Kentucky,  just  after  church  every Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings  in  the  near future include Life Cycle Celebrants,  who  create and coordinate customized weddings, funerals and other life cycle ceremonies.

lifetoad.jpg Frog parking only all others will be toad Life Saver Dude: read it 'n' eat it . . .

Tested positive, 611,600; died, 9,693.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

A Republican state senator from Jeffersonsville introduced a
bill to make popcorn the official state snack. . . .

A 20-year-old woman riding shotgun in Valparaiso  jokingly
poked the 20-year-old male driver's steering wheel,  sending
their car into a utility pole, killing the 17-year-old girl riding
in back without a seat belt.
                                                    [courtesy Columbus Republic]

jameshab.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Chosen Alexander, BM, 5'10", 150 lbs, attempted murder; Jamesha Brantley , BF, 5'3", 180 lbs, Theft (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

Tested positive, 345,139; died, 3,641.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

Gracyn  Courtwright,  the University  of  Kentucky  student
charged in the U.S. Capitol riot, posted her photo on Instant-
spam Instagram captioned "Infamy is as good as fame."

                                                                      [courtesy LEX18]

gillcael.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Caelin Gills, BM, 23, 5'4", 130 lbs, murder (armed & dangerous) (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)

Dog of the week:  greyhound  A combination of long and powerful legs, deep chest, flexible spine and slim build  allows  the long, tall, smooth-coated greyhound, called also the English greyhound, to reach race speeds ex- ceeding 40 m.p.h.  The  "grey"  actually  comes from "gray," but few are these days.

Jimmie Rodgers, 87                      ("Honeycomb")                 Larry King, 87                 Hank Aaron, 86                 Phil Spector, 81                 Don Sutton, 75

Kristina Ethridge, 52          [Louisville   Courier-Journal]

Sheila Ann Stam- per Strange, 59

Carla Rebecca Rushing, 34

rudyreyr.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Rudy Rey Rice, HM, 38, 5'4", 165 lbs, injury to elderly; Brittany Dawn Rhoades, HF(sic), 22, 5'4", 115 lbs, burglary; Gustavo Adolfo Castro, HM, 29, 5''9", 160 lbs, family assault; Joshua Dominique Tipton, BM, 24, 6'2", 165lbs, prob. viol. (aggr. domestic battery); Desorée Crystal Louise Mitchell, WF, 37, 5', 180 lbs, prob.viol. (opiates); Donquia Rashawn McClennon, BM, 28, 6'3", 170 lbs, marijua (Abilene Crime Stoppers, Sedgwick County (Kans.) Sheriff)

The supposed-to-be American pigeon sentenced to death in Australia was
found to be a victime of mistaken identify, and spared. . . . An eagle wrap-
ped in fishing line and hanging upside down in a tree with a  fish  hook  in
its beak was rescued by a man in Hudson, Florida. . . .A baby  giraffe  was
stepped on by its mother and died at the Nashville, Tennessee, zoo. .  .  . A
woman in Sherbrooke,  Quebec,  was fined for walking her  husband  on  a
leash to avoid a Covid-19 curfew. . . . President Strump received a  34   per
cent Gallup approval rating on his last day in office. .  .  .  One  of  his final
pardons went to rapper Lil misspelled Wayne (is he related to Lil' misspell-
ed Kim?)  from a federal weapons charge  (and let's all remember  Li'l  mis-
spelled Abner – that was almost right, but it shoulda been Li'l'). . . . A cand-
le peddled by actress Gwyneth Paltrow with the slogan "This smells like my
vagina" blew up in flames in a woman's home in North London, England. . . .
One of the U.S. Capitol rioters sent a "selfie" to his girl friend's brother, who
just happened to be a federal agent (he's under arrest).  .  .  .  Lady  Gag-a  ja-
wum-dumbed the National Anthem at the Presidential inauguration.

                                                                        [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

ericvall.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, sheriff): Eric Valles, WM, 21, no proof; Casey Olson, 24, sale to certain person; Jordan Bell, 27, trespass; Demetrius Stokes, 27, ass., theft; Alexandria Rodgers, 18, allowing unlicensed driver to operate; Jacki Pendergrass, 36, DUI; Jayden Everitt, 21, marijuana

The sports:

National Football League referee    Sarah   Thomas will be  the  first  woman to officiate  at  the  Super Bowl.

DISCUSSION GROUP:     Don't  forget!  Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events are invi- ted to attend the Weekly World News Round Ta- ble at the offices of Borf  Books outside Browns- ville,  Kentucky,  just after church every Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the near future include Jon Schaffer.

J. Ewing wrote Sun 1/10/21 @11:11 EST:

Ahem.  You are aware that Maureen Reagan dropped
dead at age 60,  back in 2001?  Therefore she isn't 80.
She was 60 when she died almost 20 years ago.

Tested positive, 590,093; died, 9,287.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

A Republican state senator of Indianapolis filed a preemptive
bill to bar the renaming of Indiana or Indianapolis. . . .

The woman was executed at the federal prison in Terre Haute.

                                                    [courtesy Columbus Republic]

A Mayfield, Ky., nurse was fired by the hospital she  worked  for
in Evansville, Indiana, after posting on Clutterbook Facebook her
entrance of the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6 with Proud boys and others.

                                                                       [Columbus Republic]
Tested positive, 325,137; died, 3,400.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

The Laurel County Sheriff and Jailer burned University of Ken-
tucky shirts on Clutterbook Facebook after  the  UK  basketball
team knelt for the National Anthem at a game at Florida.

                                                                           [courtesy LEX18]

Dog of the week:  cocker spaniel  Bred as a hunting dog, the cocker spaniel became a favorite companion dog.   "Cocker" comes from woodcock hunting; "spaniel" comes from "Spaniard" (English subservient).

alvinlee.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Alvin Lee Turner, BM, 53, 6'5", 255 lbs, theft; Richard Gold Rodgers, WM, 58, 5'11", 130 lbs, poss. of child pornography; Joseph Daniel Mitchell, WM, 21, 5'10", 165 lbs, solicitation of a child on line; Robert Earl Ford,,BM, 32, 6'2", 180 lbs,sexual assault of a child

Vice President-elect Kamala Harris wound up on the cover of Vogue
magazine in controversial clothure.  .  .  .  Former Congressman Ron
Paul was blocked by Clutterbook Facebook. . . . Prince Harry and his
Princess Meghan abandoned  Clutterbook Facebook  and other social
media. . . . Scientists said 2021 will be shorter than the usual year be-
cause the Earth is spinning faster. .  .  . Three  members  of  Congress
tested positive after sheltering in place in the Capitol riot. .  .  .  Katie
Couric and Aaron Rodgers are among upcoming hosts of TV 's Jeop-
ardy. .  .  . A pigeon that arrived from Oregon was sentenced to death
in Australia.
                                                                            [courtesy LEX18, AP]

kaycetif.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Kayce Ellen Arnold, WF, 40, 5'7", 140 lbs, probation violation (burglary, theft); Tiffany Dean Davey, WF, 35, 5'9", 180 lbs, tattoos on hand, ankle & wrist, burglary, damage to property; Jennifer Lee Faubus, WF(sic), 37, 5'2", 170 lbs, shoulder tattoo, probation violation (aggravated domestic battery) (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

cruzmont.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Michael Crawford, 38, forg; Juanita Samaniego, 30, theft; Cruz Montes, 63, theft; Crystal Hodges, 30, DUI; Mari Madrigal, 45, contempt of court; Cameron Maegden, 30, family assault

kameshal.jpg Wanted in Waco (Waco Crime Stoppers): Leopole Fernandez, HM, 28, 5'10", 120 lbs, probation violation (continuous family violence); Kamesha Lee, BF, 38, 5'7", 185 lbs, prob viol failure to stop & render aid; Dillon Cox, WM, 25, 5'10", 150 lbs, prob viol DUI w/child in vehicle; Aisha Loa, HF, 27, 5'4", 180 lbs (Yorkshire hog), prob viol evading; Eric Duren, BM, 21, 5'8", 152 lbs, probation viol organized crime; Tamara Sims, BF, 40, 5'6", 255 lbs (York. hog), pro viol assault on public servant; William Walker, WM, 37, 5'7", 175 lbs, prob viol family violence by occlusion

lifesist.jpg This is my step ladder I never knew my real ladder Life Saver Dude: I never "knew" my sister - but I sure wanted to

Fred Dean wrote Sun 1/3/21 @11:06 PST:

As I read last week's bit  about the LaGrange County ordi-
nance discouraging  hippie  festivals,  I recalled your once
labeling Indiana "the only Southern state north of Mason's
and Dixon's line."

I've learned recently that that's only about two-thirds true.  The Mason-
Dixon line is the border between Pennsylvania and Maryland;   and  if
you extend it westward on a map, you'll  find  that it runs right through
Rushville,  Indiana,  our home town,  which  is about a third of the way
upstate from the Ohio River.  LaGrange is way north, though.  – Editor

Tested positive, 561,579; died, 6,099.
                                                                 [courtesy N.Y. Times]

Bloomington banned the homeless from Seminary Park down-
town,  where 25 tents were pitched.    A 51-year-old homeless
man was found dead after sleeping overnight there.

                                                    [courtesy Columbus Republic]

delacruz.jpg Wanted in Fort Wayne: Carlos De-Iuna Delacruz, W/HM, 37, 5'6", 145 lbs, child molesting; Derrick Lamone Bullock, BM, 22, 6'2", 140 lbs, rape, child molesting, marijuana, parapheernalis; Luis Angel Castillo, W/HM, 38, 6'1", 330 lbs, tattoos Mexican & American flags on rt. shldr., cross and praying hands l. shl.., "Castillo"rt. forearm, "Fuentes" l. forearm, child molesting;; Ruben Magana Tamayo, W/HM, 47, 5'10", 175 lbs, tattoos, hands folded on rt. arm, "Michele"on back, child molesting

Tested positive, 300,379; died, 4,525.
                                                                   [courtesy N.Y. Times]

Trumpty-dumpty protesters gathered outside the Kentucky state
capitol in Frankfort.
                                                                          [courtesy LEX18]

The Louisville Courier-Journal newspaper was abandoning its
printing presses in Louisville and in the future will be  printed
in Indianapolis, Indiana, and Knoxville, Tennessee.

                                                         [courtesy Courier-Journal]

      

raekwonb.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Robert Joseph Helton, WM, 40, 6'2", 250 lbs, ID fraud; Raekwon Burse, BM, 24, 6'3", 185 lbs, murder: (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)

Dog of the week:      Pronounced "gwoopy":  is Polish for "silly,"  or "stupid."   This one is known to its keepers as "Granny's  dog" – he  just  showed up one day,  and they figured that Granny had died and her grandsons did not want to bother to take care of him.

seanguyt.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County Texas Sheriff): Sean Guyton, 47, DUI; Erika Martinez, 44, drug paraphernalia; Robert Gonzalez, 32, ass. & bat.; Kiair Crouch, 45, no driver license; Rosa Brannon, 9, mobery; Marissa Ynostrosa, no driver lic.; Richard Able, 25, fam. ass.

President Trump was not welcome in Scotland on Inauguration Day. . . .
Buck Owens was found to be more Bakersfield than either Dwight Yoa-
kem or Wade Hayes. . . . President-elect Biden has picked for his attorn-
ey General federal appellate court Justice Merrick Garland, former Pres-
idnet Barack Obama's nominee to the Supreme Court to succeed the late
Antonin  Scalia  (Garland's nomination was scuttled by the Senate  pend-
ing Donald Crump's ascension to the throne).  . . .  A West Virginia legis-
lator among the rioters at the U.S. Capitol resigned. . . . Iran issued an ar-
rest warrant for the President of the United States  in  the murders of Gen.
Qassim Soleimani and militia leader Abu Mahdi al-Muhandis. . . .

                                                                                 [courtesy LEX18, AP]

dexhazom.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas,not Kansas): Waylon Dwayne Byram, WM, 37, 6'0", 225 lbs, meth, failure to registeras sex offender; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Memie Brook Deshazo, WF, 38, 5'7", 125 lbs, opiates; Nicholas Zachary Carrillo-Miller, WM, 29, 6'1", 260 lbs, probation violation (opiates) (Abilene Crime Stoppers, Sedgwick County Kans. Sheriff)

DISCUSSION GROUP:     Don't  forget!  Readers  interested  in intellectual dissection of important current events are invited to attend the Weekly World News Round Table  at the offices  of Borf  Books  outside  Brownsville,  Ken- tucky, just after church every Sunday.  Guest speak- ers lined up for meetings in the near future  include this hottie (and why is the internet panning this as a wedding photo that should not have been taken?).

People who invited us to be their "friends" on Clutterbook Facebook in the last week included
                                                                                                                 Putra Putra

lifetoon.jpg Life Saver Dude: Oh! I know! It's Saskatoon!

Fred Dean wrote Sun 12/27/20 @12:23 PST:

I vote for Tom-Toms for new name for the
Cleveland "Indians."

Our personal choice is the "Ecrus."    – Editor

Tested positive, 526,065; died, 8,410.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

Caesars Entertainment agreed to sell its casino at Elizabeth, on
the Ohio River,  to the Cherokee Indians,  for $250 million. . . .

A federal court of appeals ruled that the only woman on federal
death row could be executed after all. . . .

The vaccine was delivered to the federal prison in Terre Haute... .

The first baby born at Community Hospital North in Indianap-
olis this year, seven minutes into 2021, was named Annie No-
elle Claus. . . .

LaGrange County repealed an anti-hippie festival ordinance in
effect since two years after Woodstock. . . .

No charges were filed in the case of 2,246 sets of fetal remains
found at the home of a doctor who operated abortion clinics in
Gary, South Bend and Fort Wayne,Indiana (the doctor is decea-
sed).
                                                     [courtesy Columbus Republic]

         

Sarah L. Henderson,  28, and the perp were living in  a  storage  unit  rented by  the  perp.   Her  body was   found  there  Christ- mas Day.

attersn.jpg Wanted in Terre Haute for murder, Philip Michael Atterson, WM, 29, 6'4", 200 lbs (Wabash Valley Crime Stoppers)            

Tested positive, 270,059; died, 2,956.
                                                                 [courtesy N.Y. Times]

The Kentucky Secretary of State removed 33,696 dead voters
from voter rolls, 4,252 convicted of felonies, 3,435 who mov-
ed out of state, 586 who asked to de-register, and 242 judged
mentally incompetent.
                                                                    [courtesy LEX18]

The  Post  Office  and a number of businesses  in  Brownsville
were unable to accept credit cards  after the Christmas Day ex-
plosion in front of the AT&T building in Nashville, Tennessee.

                                                  [a Tabloid Headlines exclusive]

rcoggins.jpg Wanted in Robertson County: Richard Coggins, WM, 43, 5'9", 220 lbs, violation of sex offender registry (residing with minor child); Christopher Dowlen, BM, 45, 5'9", 220 lbs, viol. of sex offender reg. (failure to pay and report); Cortnee Lewis, BF, 33, 5'4", 160 lbs, exploitation of elderly, misspelling of first name; Jarvis Atkins, BM, 29, aggravated assault; Ricky W. Plunk, WM, 32, violation of community corrections (SpotCrime)

Dog of the week:  Great Dane  Most dictionaries require both  a  capital  G and a capital D in the spelling of  this  dog's name (an exception is the "Free Dictionary," which spells both words  with  small  initial letters).   It's  a  tall,  smooth-haired German (not Danish) breed.  Famous Great Danes in- clude Marmaduke and Scooby-Doo.

A federal judge  in New York  rejected  Jeffrrey Epstein madam Ghis-
laine Maxwell's $28.5 million bail bond offer. . . . Donald Crump wss
America's "most admired man"of 2020,  according  to  a  Gallup  poll
(and Michelle Obama,  most admired woman). . . . The "pandemic re-
lief" bill finally passed by Congress and signed  by  the  Presumident
included a provision prohibiting doping of race horses. . . .  Australia
changed the second line  of  its  national  anthem  from  "For  we  are
young and free" to "For we are one and free."

                                                            [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

Get a grip, Hank.  You met her in a "gentlemen's club" dance hall?

You're 60-how many years old?   How many is she?   What do you
think these "gentlemen's clubs" hire these women for?

"In your heart"?  Get a brain, Bozo.

And you cannot make anyone love you.  It is as it is.

But I commend you for your grasp of the accent aigu in "Renée."

dbalfanz.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Dustin Marshall Balfanz, WM, 26, 5'6", 280 lbs, sexual assault on a child; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Kyle Thomas Koochel, WM, 22, 6'0", 125 lbs, probation violation (possess. of firearm by felon); Joyce Elaine Loomis, WF, 48, 5'7", 170 lbs, probation violation (opiates); Tammy Michelle Ake, WF, 50, 5' 0", 220 lbs (Yorkshire hog of the week), probation violation (opiates); Trevor Michael Long, WM, 24, 5'8", 160 lbs, scar on rt. calf, tattoo on back, prob. viol. (ag. family assault) (Abilene Crime Stoppers, Sedgwick County Kans. Sheriff)

DISCUSSION GROUP:     Don't  forget!  Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events are invi- ted to attend the Weekly World News Round Ta- ble at the offices of Borf  Books outside Browns- ville,  Kentucky,  just after church every Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the near future include these chickies this chickie.

lifesant.jpg Life Saver Dude: Oh! I know! It's Santasquatch