Hello I want to share the story of my experience with you.

I am a survivor of child abuse as well as date rape. Here is the story of the date rapes that changed my life forever.

When I was 19 years old I was raped by someone I was dating. He and I had been dating for about 5 months. He had been pressuring me to have sex with him for about four weeks and I had refused. One night he convinced me to go with him to a store he was trying to open. It was dark and cold and he did not turn on the lights. He had evidently planned this because he did not hesitate very long. Once he had locked the door he forced me onto this rough table and raped me. Then he took me home and went on about his life. I was a freshman in college and since we lived in a small town I chose not to file charges. I just kept it all bottled up.I tried to pretend that it never happened and that I was wrong. I started drinking and became very promiscuous and tried to destroy myself. All of that drinking and partying and dating men who were scum did not help. It only made things worse.I felt humiliated and dirty and like I was good for nothing but sex. I was raped by someone else I dated also. It has been 7 years since the first attack and 4 since the second and I have just now started counseling. I have fianally learned that I am not responsible for what happened.

The rapes and abuse by the men I dated were bad but nothing shaped my life like my childhood. I was physically and mentally abused as well as sexually abused. It is hard for me to admit the abuse was by someone I loved . I have come to realize how much this abuse shaped my life and the choices I have made.

I hope if you are a child abuse suvivor or a rape survivor or a loved one of a survivor and reading this page that you will get some hope and comfort from this.

I hope that sharing this about my life helps someone else out there.