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"I must measure up to other people's
expectations of me". In a personal sense this could not be further from
the truth. Our worth as human beings cannot be determined by others. In the
practical/professional setting we do have to meet certain standards to
maintain employment or livelihood. But in the personal sense, we are of equal
worth and value as human beings. Each of us is precious and unique.
Our value as human beings is unrelated to who
or what we are. It is unrelated to race, religion, sexual preference,
accomplishments, or lack of them, and to our appearance. These are the
externals-the false cultural idioms of self-judgement. We are all imperfect.
Our value as human beings is that we are.
It is important that most people love,
like, or approve of me. This idea has been conditioned into us since
childhood. It is such a powerful concept that we let it often determine
our actions, even against our better judgement. This is a losing battle at
best. If we do something to please others, it should please us too.
Performing for praise or gratitude is not a building block of high
self-esteem.
Actually, the only approval we must have
is our own. Anyone else's is stictly optional. It is difficult to live with
yourself without self-approval. Although relationships can be wonderful and
much work as well, we should be able to have contentment and happiness
when living alone.
Life does not give guarantees other than our own being.
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