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Issue 9 - The 'Euro' Edition - dystopian_society@yahoo.com

Today's News

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Greenwich announce decimal time plans
By Ed Chunx
The traditional astronomical method of time-keeping is soon to be phased out.  It will be replaced by a system of time organised to the base ten.  The system has received mixed reactions but its architects have defended it in this article.

Science and Tech
God Bless America
War Diaries
Martin Gater - Tabloid Crusader
The Chart Rundown
Crime in the UK
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Russia aims nuclear weapons at UK
By Carnley Paxter
Russian President Boris Yeltsin has ordered nuclear missiles to be aimed at the UK.  British Foreign Secretary Robin Cook said "We don't care, the Russian bases aren't manned anyway."

ISAs may have hidden costs
By Christian Hills
With all the fuss about tax-free savings it is easy to forget what you're really doing when you sign up for an ISA.  The
Society explodes the myth that they're just a great way of saving and shows you the hidden costs when you sell your soul to the devil!

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Ancient seafaring race is a hoax
By John Burnside
The recent archaeological fuss over the previously unknown race of seafaring traders has been slightly premature as the whole has been revealed as stunt to promote the new industry magazine Inside Dead People's Heads.

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South-Sea pirates target refugee ships
By Dick Reader
The recent surge of Asian extras in Neighbours has been accounted to an increase in pirates hitting refugee ships, looking for photogenic slaves.  The best looking are then taken to work for cheap Australian soaps.  China has announced it's plans for stopping this illicit trade.

Bill Gates spotted working in Motel
By Gary Dvorkian
The celebrated computer, who was believed to have died last year (see archive), was seen running the reception desk at a seedy motel last week.  Police have not confirmed the reports but the photographic evidence has been tested and is not fake.

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