Special thanks to Coreen and Gary for the little "wiggle-butt" gif :-)

How to Photograph a Cocker

1.Remove film from box and load camera. 2.Remove film box from cocker's mouth and throw in trash. 3.Remove cocker from trash and brush coffee grounds from ears.. 4.Choose a suitable background for photo. 5.Mount camera on tripod, check flash and focus. 6.Find cocker and take tissues from mouth. 7.Place cocker in pre-focused spot and return to camera. 8.Forget about spot and crawl after cocker on knees. 9.Focus with one hand while fending off cocker with other hand. 10.Get tissue and clean nose print from lens. 11.Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on cocker's nose. 12.Put magazines back on coffee table. 13.Try to get your cocker's attention by squeaking toy over your head. 14.Replace your glasses and check camera for damage. 15.Jump up in time to grab cocker by scruff of neck and say- "No, no outside!" 16.Call spouse to help clean up the mess. 17.Fix a drink. 18.Sit back in chair, put your feet up, sip your drink and resolve to teach your cocker "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.

Or How to take Your Cockers to a Photographer (1) load cockers in crates in car (2) drive to mall (3) pull cockers in crates on dolly over to mall Santa (4) endure everyone ohing and awing and sticking fingers in crates and asking how much the dogs are.while waiting your turn (5) pile cockers on Santa's lap (6) help pro photographer get cockers to look at camera. (7) repeat #4 while waiting to get and pay for pictures. (8) do steps 3, 2, and 1 in reverse Evelyn