Aragorn: If by me life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword...

Legolas: ...and you have my bow...

Gimli: ...and my axe.

 

Elrond: Nine companions, so be it. You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring.

Pippin: Great. Where are we going?

 

Gimli: Nobody tosses a dwarf.

 

Arwen: If you want him, come and claim him.

 

Frodo: Go back, Sam. I'm going to Mordor alone.

Sam: Of course you are. And I'm coming with you.

 

Aragorn: Gentlemen, we do not stop till nightfall.

Pippin: What about breakfast?

Aragorn: You've already had it.

Pippin: We've had one, yes. What about second breakfast?

Merry: I don't think he knows about second breakfast, Pip.

Pippin: What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he?

Merry: I wouldn't count on it.

 

Bilbo: I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

 

Pippin: Anyways, you need people of intelligence on this sort of... mission... quest... thing.

Merry: Well, that rules you out, Pip.

 

Gimli: Not the beard!

 

Pippin: Are we lost?

Merry: No.

Pippin: I think we are .

Merry: Shh. Gandalf's thinkin'.
Pippin: Merry?
Merry: What?
Pippin: I'm hungry.

Merry: I don't know why he's so upset. It's only a couple of carrots.
Pippin: And some cabbages. And then those three bags of potatoes we lifted last week, and... and... the mushrooms, the week before.
Merry: Yes, Pippin, my point is, he's clearly over-reacting.

 

Pippin: Oh that's nice - ash on my tomatoes.

 

Frodo: I am Frodo Baggins, and this is Samwise Gamgee.
Faramir: Your bodyguard?
Sam: His gardener.

 

Legolas: [in Elvish] You're late.
[in English]
Legolas: You look terrible.

 

Gollum: [to Sam] Stupid, fat hobbit.

 

Gimli: Toss me.
Aragorn: What?
Gimli: I cannot jump the distance. You'll have to toss me.
[pauses, looks up to Aragorn]
Gimli: Don't tell the elf.

Gollum: They're thieves! They're thieves! They're filthy little thieves! Where is it? Where is it? They stole it from us, our precious. Curse them! WE hates them! it's ours it is, and we wants it! We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false!

Smeagol: No! Not master.
Gollum: Yes precious. First they cheat you, hurt you, LIE.
Smeagol: Master's my friend!.
Gollum: You don't have any friends, nobody likes you!
Smeagol: I'm not listening, I'm not listening.
Gollum: You're a liar and a thief.
Smeagol: No!
Gollum: Murderer.
Smeagol: Go away!
Gollum: Go away?
[Gollum laughs as Smeagol begins crying]
Smeagol: I hate you, I hate you.
Gollum: Where would you be without me? Gollum! Gollum saved us! It was me! We survived because of me!
[Smeagol stops crying]
Smeagol: Not anymore.
Gollum: What did you say?
Smeagol: Master looks after us now, we don't need you anymore. Leave now and never come back!
Gollum: What?
Smeagol: LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!
[Gollum screams in frustration]
Smeagol: LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!

 

Legolas: A red sun rises, blood has been spilled this night.

 

Sam: What we need is a few good taters.
Gollum: What's taters, precious? What's taters, eh?
Sam: Po-tay-toes. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew. Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish.
Sam: Even you couldn't say no to that.
Gollum: Oh yes we could. Spoilin' nice fish. Give it to us raw and wrigglin'. You keep nasty chips.

Sam: You're hopeless.

 

Gimli: It's true you don't see many dwarf women. In fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they are often mistaken for dwarf men.
Aragorn: It's the beards.

 

Gimli: Whatever luck you live by... let's hope it lasts the night.
Legolas: You're friends are with you, Aragorn.
Gimli: Let's hope they last the night...

 

Gimli: [out of breath] I am wasted over long distances. We Dwarves are natural sprinters, very deadly over shorter distances.

Pippin: The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm. It's the last thing he'll expect.
Merry: Are you mad? We will be caught for sure.
Pippin: Not this time.

 

Gimli: What's happening out there?
Legolas: Shall I describe it to you... or would you like me to go find you a box?
[During the Battle of Helm's Deep, Gimli has killed an Uruk-Hai warrior]
Gimli: Legolas. Two already.
Legolas: I'm on seventeen.
Gimli: What?! I'll have no pointy ear outscoring me!
Legolas: [shoots two more arrows] Nineteen.

Legolas: Final count - 42.
Gimli: 42? That's not bad for a pointy-eared elvish princling. I myself am sitting pretty on 43.
[Legolas shoots the orc that Gimli is sitting on]
Legolas: 43
Gimli: He was already dead.
Legolas: He was twitching
Gimli: He was twitching because he's got my axe embedded in his nervous system.

 

[after Legolas has shot and killed a Warg heading toward Gimli]
Gimli: That one counts as mine!

 

Frodo: I need you on my side.
Sam: I'm on your side Mr Frodo.
Frodo: I know you are Sam.

 

Witch King: You fool. No man can kill me. Die now.
Eowyn: I am no man.

Gandalf: Lord Denethor is Boromir's father. To bring him news of his beloved son's death would be most unwise. And don't mention Frodo or the ring. And say nothing of Aragorn either. In fact, it's best if you don't speak at all, Peregrin Took.

[after Legolas single-handedly takes out an Oliphant and its drivers]
Gimli: That still only counts as one.

 

Gimli: Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an Elf.
Legolas: What about side by side with a friend?
Gimli: Aye. I could do that.

Gimli: Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?

 

Aragorn: My friends, you bow to no one.

 

Gimli: This is something unheard of. An Elf would go underground, when a Dwarf dare not. Oh, I'd never hear the end of it.

 

Sam: What are you up to? Sneaking off, are we?
Gollum: Sneaking? Sneaking? Fat hobbit is always so polite. Sméagol shows them secret ways that nobody else could find, and they say "sneak". Sneak? Very nice friend. Oh, yes, my precious. Very nice, very nice.

Sam: All right all right! You just startled me is all. What were you doing?
Gollum: Sneaking.

King of the Dead: The dead do not suffer the living to pass.
Aragorn: You will suffer me.

 

Arwen: From the ashes, a fire will be woken. A light from the darkness shall spring. Renewed shall be blade that was broken. The crownless again shall be king.

 

[singing] 
Merry, Pippin: You can drink your fancy ales. You can drink them by the flagon. But the only brew for the brave and tru-u-u-ue comes from the Green Dragon.

 

Sam: Well, I'm back.