1. What is your name?
(Cullen Chfoow)Eff Nog ed. note: yargh
2. What is you school and major?
(Cullen Chow)Georgia Tech, Counterstrike ed.note: this is completely true. You may consider it a joke if you like, but this kid honestly spends a mjority of his day shooting pixels. I'm not shitting you, probably 12 plus hours a day.
3. What's the one song you just want to go away and die?
(Cullen Chow) Sweetness, Jimmy Eat World ed. note: Judges? . . . . correct!
4. Who is your favorite band?
(Cullen Chow) Jimmy Eat World ed. note: pay attention, there is a theme here.
5. What is your favorite song?
(Cullen Chow) Sweetness ed. note: see previous ed. note.
6. What is your favorite album?
(Cullen Chow) Whatever Sweetness Is On ed. note: That would be "Jimmy Eat World", by . . . Jimmy Eat World, i guess that name was just too damn good to not use again for the album eh?
7. Let's play Z93, what 10 songs would make up your Perfect Album?
(Cullen Chow) Um, anything and everything by Michael Bolton, they play that right? ed. note: Sure they do, anything for the Quiz/Survey/Interview.
8. What is your favorite t.v. show?
(Cullen Chow) Probably Dragonball Z ed. note: moving right along to someone OTHER than Chow . . .
9. What foreign language do you know best?
(Matthew Oberstein) Mumbling ed.note: Say what?
10. Who is your favorite actor?
11. Who is your favorite actress?
(Cullen Chow) Jenna Jameson, solely because she's such a great actress. ed.note: This is a completely honest answer, he has at least 30 of her movies downloaded on his computer right now. He's a pretty big fan.
12. Do you Yahoo!?
(Matt Young) wayyyyy too much (especially during the real fantasy seasons like baseball and football) ed.note: you can never get too much fantasy sports. its just a myth, like the holocaust and quality japanesse car parts.
13. What is your favorite book?
14. Who is your favorite poet?
15. What is your favorite profanity?
(Cullen Chow) To tease or try to deceive. A small or worthless amount. Things, items. ed.note: Damnit, you are one wierd mother trucker.
16. Boxers, briefs, or nothing at all?
(Cullen Chow) Both boxers and briefs (preferably at the same time) ed.note: yo, you guys gettin' this?
17. Cats or dogs?
(M. Vander Wood) neither, i hate things w/fur ed. note: How about things with feelings? Cause dogs and cats have those too you know. Psh! . . . dog hater.
18. Hugs or kisses?
(Paul Ferrree) not a fan of white chocolate, I'll take the kisses ed.note: bada ching, is this thing on?
19. Your house/really really crappy dorm is on fire, what do you run back in to save and why?
(Cullen Chow) My computer, all of it. ed.note: what he'd save, I could have predicted, his reason why . . . not in a million years would i EVER understand that.
20. What are you stupid!?!? Don't you know there is nothing more valuable than your life?!?!
(Cullen Chow) My computer is my life. ed.note: This kid is dominating.
21. Who is funnier: Chris Rock, Dennis Miller, Martin Lawson, Jerry Seinfeld or Johnny Knoxville?
(Paul Ferree) never heard of any of them ed.note: Oh thanks dude, thinking of you too.
22. Who looks more like a woman: Michael Jackson or Janet Reno?
(Paul Ferree) definitely Jackson ed.note: I made this one too obvious.
23. Who is most likely to end up in jail by the time you finish this interview: Alfonso Soriano, Mike Tyson, Wynonna Rider, Ike Turner or Pink Floyd?
(Paul Ferree) No CEOs? I guess I'll say Mike Tyson ed.note: Fastow is an honest man who caught in the middle. Plus with all those big buck lawyers, those CEO's will outlast any of these chumps.
24. Ok, so you and the answers from the previous three questions are all on a plane that crashes on a snowy peak with no food, but plenty of salt. Who would you eat to stay alive and why?
(Paul Ferree) Michael Jackson. I'd rather have a man trying to bite my ear off than trying to convince me he's a white lady. ed.note: See this is why Paul made better grades in Language Arts than all of you delinquints: he answered the 'why' parts of questions . . . and he could spell words like delinquint.
25. Given the choice of watching a swim match, women's golf, the WNBA or N'Sync "Making the Video", which would you most likely choose and why?
(M. Vander Wood) i must digress...a swim MATCH!?!?! what the fuckingshit? it is a MEET! a swim MEET! honestly....and why are swim meets in the same category as those other things? what the hell are u trying to say? golf sucks, period. basketball almost always sucks, i have nothing
against N'Sync, and i find swimming rather enjoyable to watch (keyword: watch). seriously, martin...a swim "match"?! ed. note: Decaff . . . make the swtich.
26. In five words or less, explain Georgia Tech.
(Paul Ferree) @#$%, (*$!, *&^%, !@#$, and ^&**! ed.note: ok, Charlie Brown.
27. In three words or less, explain that special feeling you get when you watch welding(a process by which metal is molded together).
(Paul Ferree) retina burn ed.note: . . . Yes, I'll accept that.
28. In four words or less, explain the wonder of sticky notes.
29. Using just the words from your answers in the last three questions, describe yourself.
30. Given the choice, which would you rather have: Velocity or speed? Why?
31. If you had one million dollars, what would you do with it?
(Paul Ferree) probably spend it, but I might save some for later ed.note: Hey, Joe Middleodaroad, get off the fence over there. You're blocking my view of the people with an actual opinion.
32. What is the perfect number?
33. So what's the deal with "religion"?
34. I'm your 10 year old son, and its time to have that talk, where do you approach me and how do you start the conversation?
(Cullen Chow) You like your honey nut cheerios right son? ed.note: This made me laugh out loud at work . . . multiple times.
35. Who would play "Martin Lawson", in the "Martin Lawson Life Story"?
(M. Vander Wood) haha, uhh....morgan freeman ed.note: Yeah, I'm sure he will be very convincing considering, in case you haven't noticed (and judging by the attendence you haven't) I'M NOT BLACK!!!!
36. In my, E! True Hollywood Story, what event sparks the turning point in my life where the announcer says: "And that's when Martin's life took a turn for the worst."
"37"!!!!! What was the best day of your life? why?
38. Which powerade commercial (you know the one's where people jump over things and do amazing computer generated things that are passed off as real) is the biggest pile of crap?
(Paul Ferree) yeah, that one ed.note: ladies and gentleman, I give you Paul Ferree doing his best Dubya impression. Just don't start asking for the defintions to simple pronouns, and we are cool (ahhh, not antother position in the world quite as lofty and respected as the good ole commander in cheif is there?)
39. Have you ever been to my website? Why not?
40. What is the worst movie you have ever seen?
(Paul Ferree) i don't even remember the title, but it was a 60's one involving Hercules running around in a miniskirt ed.note: yup, that's the one.
41. Who is the worst actor/actress?
42. Did you understand the significance of 37 being in quotes?
43. What was the worst day of your life? Why?
(Paul Ferree) i have a selective memory ed.note: ok, good job on the reason, but you want to hit us with a specific day?
44. Who would you NOT want to play you in your made for tv life story?
(M. Vander Wood) chelsea clinton ed.note: holy crap you suck at the actor/actress questions. She's not even an actress . . . or an actor for that matter.
45. What's the best deal around?
46. Who is the physical manifestation of the Devil and why?
47. Other than drugs, what is the single most addicting thing ever?
(M. Vander Wood) snood ed. note: holy crap, you are officially elyse baum.
48. Among you, your favorite actor, actress, and the answers from #35, #41, #44, and #46 who would be the most likely to . . .
a. Die from a drinking binge?
b. Lead the american League in hits?
c. Get a sexually transmitted disease?
d. die in a horrible car accident?
(Matt Young) tie- Ashley Judd or Hillary Clinton (women can't drive) ed.note: I think the real winner here is the 1950's.
e. Land the lead in broadway's "Cat's"?
(Cullen Chow) Jackie Chan (He's a jack of all trades) ed.note: oh yeah, i mean people keep talking about how gets "type-cast" as nothing more than a "ninja badass", but you look at the movies he has done and there is much more than just "ninja badass". He's been a drunken "ninja badass", a cop "ninja badass", a "ninja badass" in love . . . the list goes on and on. The man SCREAMS broadway.
f. fade away into obscurity while leading a life of isolation consisting of nothing more than alcoholism and their pet cats?
g. Strip professionally?
h. Find complete self actualization only after allowing their soul to become completely corrupted by the greed driven business of Ivory Tusk Trading in the heart of the African Jungle?
(M. Vander Wood) does this have something to do w/heart of darkness? morgan freeman ed.note: yes, good work marlow.
i. teach kindergarten?
49. Of those same people, who would you . . .
a. Make love to?
b. trust your kid with?
c. ask for advice on your 10w form?
d. kill for the right price?
e. save from a burning house?
f. play?
50. Playa what? why?
51. I've got two reasons why I cry away each lonely night . . . what are they and why?
52. What is the story of your life?
53. True or False, Anna Kournikova is overrated(hotness factor does apply)?
54. Yay or nay, muscles on girls?
55. Yay or nay, girls should be allowed to go topless?
(Paul Ferree) martin, get your mind out of the gutter ed.note: give me one more question.
56. Yay or nay, the idea of lesbians is totally hot?
(Cullen Chow) Mmm, lesbians ed.note: CORRECT
57. American indulgences, hedonism or just the winner's spoils?
(Paul Ferree) yes ed.note: Now THAT is test taking skill
58. Finish the statement . . .
a. Three things you can always count on: Death, Taxes and _________
b. Al Mead has one leg, He uses it to __________
c. Michael Jordan is ________________
d. Tacos __________________
e. Nothing quite like waking up to your brother farting in your face.(Cullen Chow) ed.note: I wouldnt know, I had a sister, but I'm betting it was about the same sweetness level.
59. What do you hate more than anything in the world?
(Matt Young) people that arent happy unless they're bitching about something (ex:Cochran suing the NFL over mistreatment of black coaches, man suing fast food chains for making him fat, woman suing macdonalds for burning her when she spilled coffee on herself, i mean what the f***, open your eyes and take some responsibility for your actions) ed.note: This answer was very intriguing, alas ultimately incorrect . . . as were all answers to this question. The correct answer is University of Georgia sports fans. Yeah, its a little known fact, but true.
60. What is the best quote ever?
(Paul Ferree)One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is `to be prepared'.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle ed.note: yeah, that's probably it.
61. What was the worst fifth round pick in the history of fantasy sports?
(Matt Young) Javy Lopez ed.note: take that Oberstein!
62. Explain the meaning behind "124"
63. Either using a scale from 1 to 4.7 or with just some plain english, how wierd am I?
(M. Vander Wood) 3.26 ed.note: I like how most people didnt pick a whole number on this, all of the answers were 1.7 or 2.8 . . . just thought i'd point it out.
64. Be honest, did you change your answers to 26-28 after you read question 29?
65. If you could bring back to life one person(not family or you) and they would never die , who would it be and why?
67. On how many diferent levels does Al Mead inspire you?
(Matt Young) infinite ed.note: i sure as hell can't count them all, trust me I've tried, not possible.
68. Which would you choose to give up for Complete Knowledge: true love, one leg, or your hair?
69. Who is the most embarassing person to be around?
70. Name four random friends/people you know.
71. Couple Scenarios for those friends:
1) All on a plane and while on their you figure out the cure for cancer, it crashes, your the only one who survives, but to stay alive until you get help you have to eat one of the friends to stay alive and share the cure with the world, who do you eat and why?
(Paul Ferree) martin has a sick, sick mind. and haven't you already asked this question? ed.note: yes, and yes. wait a tic, I thought I was asking the questions.
2) In a car with those friends and it like explodes and one of the friend can never talk again, another can no longer walk, one loses the ability to have sex and the fourth one flat out dies. You're God, decide which friends get which ailments and why they should get them (the explanations can be one word i don't care).
3) Which of the friends is most likely to get a sex change? Would you do him/her if they did?
72. What is the most inportant thing you have ever done?
(Cullen Chow) I don't know what iNportant means. ed.note: ouch.
73. Who is the most interesting person in the world?
(M. Vander Wood) definitely martin ed.note: I could not have thought up what is about to happen . . . not in my wildest dreams . . . this is good, I promise.
74. The most intriguing person in the world?
(M. Vander Wood) uh, these questions are too hard! :-( i don't know, i give up ed.note: awwww, definately should have just made up something.
75. Of those two people which would you . . .
- sleep with
(M. Vander Wood) martin (you're going to put this on your website, aren't u? <sigh>) :-P ed.note: What makes you think that?
- let tell your kids about sex
(M. Vander Wood) martin ed.note: this is the funny one in my opinion . . . .
- give a cookie to, if you had to choose one.
(M. Vander Wood) martin ed.note: anyone remember that marcy playground song that goes: "I smell sex and candy . . . " ? For some reason that just popped back into my head. Crazy.
76. Would you die for your country?
(Paul Ferree) yes, but, as general patton said, "no poor bastard ever won a war by dying for his country; he won it by making the other poor bastard die for his country" ed.note: oh really? well that's quaint, but I do believe the "yes" would have sufficed just fine
77. What is the most absurd talk show subject or title you can think of?
(Matt Young) tonight on the spanish channel, jeff was flipping through and we saw "Mi padre nos dejo por otro hombre" which means "My father left us for another man" where everyone was ballin their eyes out (including the audience) and some sad violin music was playing ed.note: wow. more than i ever anticipated from this question.
78. If you could be an advertising spokesperson for anything what would it be? Why?
(Matt Young) victoria's secret - self-explanatory ed.note: hmmm . . . you want to model women's underware, i think you might just have some explaining to do there.
79. If his wife asked you nicely, would you brush Dennis Miller's hair? Billy Ray Cyrus'?
80. Other than burning or burn what's the first word you can spell with these letters? i u r n g n b
81. What's the dumbest or funniest law in the U.S.?
(Paul Ferree)Ohio - It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
Also, Florida - It is illegal to have sex with a porcupine ed.note: maybe this question was a bad idea.
82. Which celebrity is most likely to end up in a porn film in the next five years?
83. If someone says:"What's the first thing that comes to your mind?" what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
84. Who is your favorite cast member form "Whose line is it Anyway?"?
85. So come on, really, whose line is it anyway?
(Cullen Chow) Yes. ed. note: That definately made me laugh outloud. At work.
86. With one line, try to pick me up.
(Matt Young) no ed.note: fair enough
87. Give one verb explaining why Chuck D. of Public Enemy should be my favorite rapper.
88. Name one actor or actress you think could hold there own in professional sports.
89. Name one professional athelete who you think could hold there own in a Shakespeare Play.
90. Name one actor or actress that could not hold there own in a Shakespeare Play.
91. How about them dogs?
92. If I leave here tomorrow, will you still remember me?
(Paul Ferree) Well, I must be travelling on now--
Cause there's too many places I've got to see ed.note: Yes! Its only appropriate that Lynard Skynard would end my survey . . . right?
the
n
d
