THE HALL OF FAME

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Al Mead Rocks My Face

Here it is gents and cowpokes, the best of the best, the all-time greatest according to me. In the words of Stewie from Family Guy, these are simply "ORGASMIC!". Yeah, so scroll down already.

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JOE MONTANA
The Cowboys are his biatch. He threw passes for my favorite NFL team ever. Why wouldn't he be in this damn thing?

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DWIGHT CLARK
He caught the pass that made the Cowboys Joe Montana's Biatch. Oh look Cowboy Fans! There's the catch right there above his name. Well I'll be a texas red ant in heat, how about that freakin' shit.

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JERRY RICE

Here is an extemely rare pick of Jerry Rice on the bench. He owns you and you're favorite shitty NFL team.

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ORANGE TIC TACS

The most insanely addicting candy ever. Many curses to the bastard that decided to put these morsels of glee and goodness in the smallest fucking container ever. I'm still looking for the Costco version of these bad boys.

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RONNIE LOTT

Badly broke his pinky finger, trainer gave him two options: 1)splint it and come out of the game 2)Cut it off and play. He finished the game.

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SEAN WILLIAMS SCOTT
"What else am I going to do? Stay here and learn?" Along with that quote, he also holds the title of "The Only Celebrity That Martin Knows of Who Once Lived in The Same Apartment Complex as Some Dude Who Was on America's Most Wanted".

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THE AVIATORS

Go ahead, try to look lame wearing these bad boys.

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"PISTOL" PETE MARAVICH

This harmless looking country could have broken both your ankles before that catch phrase even existed. Not to mention he played for the Hawks and was actually good.

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MACGYVER (RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON)

This guy could fuck you up with pocket lint and a marble without even messing up his mullet. Straight up professional.

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SWEDISH COOKIES

The fusion of two great things into one: Sweden and Chocolate chip cookies.

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THE GREATEST BASKETBALL PLAYER EVER

And dont give me any of this Wilt Chamberlin or Kareem bullshit, Mike would have run circles around both of them and could have thrown it down on both their "Dominating" asses. The Bulls were a dyansty because of him, and for no other reason. He dropped 38 with the flu in a finals game. He dropped 63 on Bird and the "storied celtic franchise" in the playoffs. He dunked from the free throw line, with a one handed double pump. He posterized just about every notable center in the league AND he was THE best defensive player in the league. No man has dominated the game of basketball both offensively and defensively, in the low post and on the preimeter like Mike did. He completely changed the game of basketball. He is the greatest ever.

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The "Craiger"

Responsible for the funniest news show on television ("The Daily Show", where its not about the facts, its about just 'looking good') and host of the Late Late Show, where he is presently waiting on David Letterman to die or retire so he can claim his rightful spot as the King of CBS late night television. Click his picture for more.