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The French Butler ~
An Evening's Diversion

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The Cast of The French Butler

Philip: "I live for her! I dream of her! And every day I want to see her smiling face beside me!"
Mr. Richards: "You have obviously never been married before."

Arnold does a poor job of cheering up Philip.

Philip: "Arnold, whatever are you doing?"
Arnold: "Waiting for money, of course."

Philip: "Darling, I would wait to the end of time if there were but the thought of you!"
Madeline: "And I would wait til the end of time if there were but the hope of you!"
Arnold: "And we shall all wait until the end of time at this rate."

Arnold: "Truly, what is this...secret?"
Madeline: "Philip loves another!"
Arnold: "Really! Oh, do tell!"

Arnold: "What reason do you have to suspect him of infidelity?"
Madeline: "What else could tear him away from me. For I am exquisite; you said so yourself."

Aunt Davis: "But I am cursed: that your parents should have died and left you to my care! Quite a clever move for them, but a horrible burden for me."

Aunt Davis: "Firstly: Are you married. Secondly: Do you find me attractive. Thirdly: If the answer to the first two questions is no and yes respectively, would you do me the honour of attending a dinner reception my nephew has recently been informed that he is giving?"

Philip: "Oh, forgive me, ma'am!"
Madeline: "Oh, Philip! How could you! And after we've been accepted to Arnold's dinner party!"

Henry: "Perhaps I could be of some assitance?"

Philip expresses his loss of Madeline.

Arnold: "Well, there must be some method behind your madness. Truly, though, I have been in love many times, and have never found myself in the position of serving my friends. Indeed, if I serve anyone, it is my love - and she is never my friend."

Emma: "Sir, what is your name, age, station...and eligibility?"

Madeline: "What did I tell you, Arnold! He is in love with another!"

Aunt Davis: "You must listen carefully, for I try never to be honest. It is a wretched state, and often leads to unnecessary complications."

Madeline: "Dit moi pourquoi vous avez compris la mal franglais d'Arnold, hmmm?" (Tell me why you understand Arnold's bad Franglais?)

Madline: "Yes, it's really quite curious. That good frog by your side looks remarkably like a young gentleman I know, a Mr. Philip Higgins, who is my former fiance!"

Philip: "FORMER!"

Philip: "Er...for mère. Oui, ma mère! Ah, elle est belle. Ha ha ha." (Yes, my mother! Ah, she is beautiful. Ha ha ha.)

Madeline: "Philip! I leave you!"

Aunt Davis: "Oh, Arnold! Now we are short one dinner guest again! Whatever shall we do?"

Madeline: "Bless you....Did you hear that, Henry? Ah, no, now I think I'm hearing Philip!"

Madeline: "He is my life! My essence! My reason for being!"

Aunt Davis: "And may I say my heart leapt when I first saw your nondescript countenance!"

Emma: "Do you speak English?"
Henry: "Yes, I'm afraid I do."
Emma: "Pity."

Madeline: "Down on one knee, if you please. A girl likes to see a man gallant once or twice. It makes us think that you are so all the time."

Madeline: "No, Philip, I will not marry you - for I love another. He has your build and your voice. He even has your name, but he is French!"
Philip: "Oh, Madeline!"

Arnold: "And thus ended their love affair in a very tragic and ordinary way."



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Updated 13 June, 2000
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