A spokesman for Airbus disagreed, though, calling the new plane "fucking retarded." In response, Boeing released a statement saying that they hope "[airbus spokesman's] Commie Euro ass" contracted a "venereal disease" while doing "[untoward things.]"

The new plane set off major tensions between the two airplane manufacturers, with Airbus claiming Boeing was trying to upstage its new plane, the A380, while the Boeing spokesman claiming the Airbus CEO was just angry because he had "slept with his woman." Boeing also went on to say that the 747 could already hold as many as the A380 Super Jumbo, as demonstrated by Continental's policy of "outside the box seating," also known as "cramming unassertive people in overhead storage bins" and "installing seats in the cargo hold." When asked by a reporter about Continental's hub in Cleveland, the spokesman mumbled something inaudibly and went silent.

In conclusion, never read the Business section of the paper and try to write something funny afterwards. Especially if you're lazy and unscrupulous enough to post the first thing you come up with instead of throwing it away and wasting five minutes of your life forever.