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The DAC Alliance Cynicism Quiz

Sort of self explanatory, isn't it? Probably not, but oh well. This is my first time dabbling with javascript so don't be alarmed if sparks start to fly from your computer and you get IM's from Czechs asking for "the payment". I'll get the bugs fixed sooner or later (translation = "never", the "Lazy" in my name says it all). Have fun with the quiz! If you find any problems please e-mail me at Lazy_Fish_Monger@hotmail.com.


Directions: Answer the questions however you see fit. When you are finished press the submit button at the bottom of the page. Each answer has a different point scale which will be added to your total score by our group of trained monkeys. These monkeys narrowly beat out Zed_Nairb for the point counting position (Sorry Zed). You can get a maximum of 30 points.

1. Bill Gates is leading Microsoft into the console industry because...

A. He wants to spread joy to the children of the world.
B. He wants to make money.
C. He needs new competitors to beat up.
2. The Music Industry is killing Napster because...
A. They are defenders of patents and artistic property rights.
B. Napster is causing a drop in Music sales.
C. They're pissed because they didn't think of it first and they can't make money off it.
3. At the Super Bowl, the Backstreet Boys forgot a line to the Star Spangled Banner because...
A. They made an honest mistake.
B. They don't know the Star Spangled Banner.
C. The can't sing anyways.
4. The American military needs increased funding because...
A. It is woefully underfunded.
B. So the US of A can keep pushing around the UN.
C. It must have shiny new smart bombs to blow up Chinese Embassies with.
5. Episode II is going to be...
A. A triumph of special effects and movie making.
B. A touching love story between a princess and a future psychopath.
C. A chance to sell even more Jar Jar action figures.
6. Travolta is making Battlefield Earth II because...
A. He must obey the wishes of Scientology.
B. He's been possesed by L. Ron Hubbard.
C. He needs a big movie to follow up his blockbuster "Lucky Numbers".
7. The XFL is posting less than expected ratings because...
A. It's too eXtreme for normal audiences to handle.
B. No one knows who the players are.
C. Let's face it, my grandmother playing bridge is more exciting than the XFL.
8. The Rock is playing the Scorpion King in the upcoming movie "The Mummy Returns" because...
A. He wants to be as beloved as Andre the Giant
B. Americans haven't seen him yell and take his shirt off enough times.
C. He wants to expand his acting career from a screaming wrestling champion to a screaming Egyptian warrior.
9. Kobe Bryant is a worldwide celebrity because...
A. He can smirk and play basketball at the same time.
B. He can say random phrases in Italian which he doesn't know the meaning of.
C. We're all waiting in anticipation for Shaq to smack him down for being a prima donna.
10. The purpose of this quiz is...
A. To provide a free self educational service.
B. To make people laugh.
C. To get the little hit counter to move up yet another notch.