Family life in Islam is based on the idea of honouring and safe-guarding what God has entrusted to you. Every adult human being, of sound mind, has been entrusted with responsibility over something, at the very least of his or her life.  This trust belongs to God, Who will recall it at the appointed time, and ask each human being how he or she has taken care of it.

Spouses and children also belong to God and have been given to human beings as a trust. These too will also be recalled some day, and the caretakers will be asked to account for how they looked after their trusts. Those who have violated their trust will suffer, those who have neither corrupted nor properly nurtured their trusts will simply return the “capital” of their loans, remaining empty handed, but those who have properly nurtured and invested their loans and made them multiply in goodness will benefit from what they have earned through their right choices and right conduct.

The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, has said: “Each of you is a guardian and is responsible for his ward. The ruler is a guardian and man is the guardian of the members of his household; and the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband’s house and offspring; and so each of you is a guardian and is responsible for his ward.”

In this model, the husband and father of the family is given a role of leadership. This role, and the authority that goes with it, is part of the sacred trust given to him, for which he bears a heavy responsibility, and for which he will be questioned by God. To provide for, care for, guide, and protect all the members of his family, with justice, kindness, firmness and love, will earn him reward both in this life and the next. To misuse his strength, position or authority, is to violate his trust and will subject him to God’s punishment.

In Islam, women have been assigned the job of guardian of the home and children. The Prophetic account refers to her “husband’s home” because the husband is required to provide for every material need. Although the wife may be independently wealthy, her assets are considered her own property: to use them for the family is a free choice and an act of charity, not an obligation. A man is required to support his wife and children, and even in the case of divorce, the father has the lifelong responsibility to provide for the material and educational needs of all of his offspring. Hence in Islam the idea of career ambitions and self-fulfillment are far subservient to a man’s responsibility as a provider. Similarly a woman may seek fulfillment in study and work, both of which are rights acknowledged within Islamic law, yet these options are subservient to her responsibility to manage a home environment of stability, nurturing, harmony and moral correctness.

Islam teaches that a man will be blessed for what he earns, provided that he earns for his family in ethical and lawful ways, and a woman will be blessed for what she spends, referring to what she spends with care, moderation and with the aim of establishing the proper home environment. A married couple are considered wise and blessed when both husband and wife understand their responsibilities and work together to provide for and build with great care a spiritually-focused and nurturing environment where the hearts, minds and moral character of their children–‎the next generation–‎will be formed.

 

Barbara Masumah Helms

(Courtesy of the Standard-Freeholder, February 10, 2007)