A Muslim home is the basis of stability for both individual and social existence. It is intended to be a place of nurturing and comfort, where its members can replenish their spiritual, emotional and physical energies.

Yet in order to receive the benefits of a Muslim home, its members must strive to fulfill their responsibilities in contributing to the family.

The type and amount of contributions that each individual can give will vary over the course of one’s lifespan. The very young and the very old have more needs, hence have been given the right to be cared for by the more able members of the family. Within an Islamic context, it is not acceptable to place elderly parents in institutions: they are entitled to care from their adult children, just as they provided care for their children when they were young and in need. According to Islamic teachings, caring for elderly parents is an avenue to Paradise.

Caring for children is also a sacred responsibility and an avenue to reward, and the duties of parents have been laid out as the rights of the child.

In Islam, the first right of the child is the right to have good parents. Although children do not choose their parents, this “right” is one of the necessary considerations that Muslims should have in mind when choosing marriage partners.

A child has the right to a good name. In Islam, names have special significance and are chosen with reference to the blessings conveyed in the meaning of the name itself or in its relation to a blessed figure in history.

A child has the right to be adequately fed, clothed, and protected. Protection is not just from bodily harm, but from any type of influence that with harm the child’s physical, emotional, intellectual, moral or spiritual development. Although Islam does not prohibit physical punishment, it promotes character formation within a relationship of loving trust. Physical punishment is intended as a last resort and should never cause bodily harm or be tainted by loss of control by parents due to their own anger and emotions. Instead, parents are encouraged to follow the example of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), who never raised his hand against a child, and used encouragement and age-appropriate dialogue to lead to positive change. In all cases, it is the parents’ responsibility to provide guidance and discipline. A child who has been deprived of discipline has been deprived of one of his or her essential rights.

In Islam a child has the right of love and affection. Once, when the Prophet kissed a small child, a desert Arab remarked, “I have eight children but I never kiss them.” The Prophet replied, “What can I do if Allah has taken away love and compassion from your heart,” implying that love and affection are more essential than strictness in shaping the character of children.

Finally, a child has the right to education. Prophet Muhammad stressed the need for education for both girls and boys, stating that “the seeking of knowledge is compulsory on every male and female Muslim.” Although education includes information and work skills, it is not limited to this definition. In Islam, education is the training and nurturing of the spirit, intellect, rational and moral self, feeling and bodily senses, so that the entire human being is motivated towards goodness.

The parent that can fulfill the rights of a child has accomplished a goal so significant that, according to Islam, it is worthy of the highest reward.

 

Barbara (Masumah) Helms

(Courtesy of the Standard-Freeholder, February 17, 2007)