Bismillah: In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful

We expect the young to bury the old. When a parent loses their child, or even their children, when a grandfather has to bury his granddaughter, we usually reel at the shock, and our grief calls out for answers.

How do we say goodbye? Where can we find the meaning to understand Allah’s hidden wisdom?

More than ever, we need the example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). When he buried his son, Ibraheem, and the tears flowed, the companions asked: “What is this?” not expecting the Messenger of Allah to be grieved at the decree of Allah. He replied: “The eyes tear, the heart grieves, but we will not say anything other than what is pleasing to Allah,” meaning that while the heart grieves, we do not question the working of God. Then he addressed his deceased son, and said: “We are indeed grieved at your loss, Ibraheem.”  Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) left us with an example of surrendering to God, of acceptance of His decree, even as grief weighs on our chests and numbs our reason. He taught us patience by his own example. When his grandson was dying, his breath faltering, Prophet Muhammad held him close and cried. Seeing this, his companions asked: “ What is this O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet answered: “ This is the mercy which Allah has placed in the hearts of His servants. And indeed it is only to the merciful of His servants that Allah gives mercy.”

We are grieved at the loss of a child. And in our devastation, we need comfort from Allah. We find it in the in the narration of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) who said: “ If the child of a servant (of God) dies, God questions the angels, “Have you taken the life of my servant’s child?”
The Angels reply: “Yes.”
God says to them: “Have you taken the fruit of his heart?”
The Angels reply: “Yes.”
Then God says to them: “What did my servant say?”
The Angels reply: “He praised you and refrained (from saying anything unbefitting).”
At that God tells them: “Build a home for my servant in Paradise and call it Baytul Hamd (the House of Praise).”

We praise God, in all circumstances, and in all conditions, trusting that whatever he has decreed for us is best for us though we may not understand it; we trust in His mercy that encompasses everything, in His wisdom that knows what lies ahead for us.

How do we say goodbye to a child? We say goodbye with the hope of being reunited in the life hereafter. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) narrates: “Allah says, “I have nothing but Paradise to give as a reward to my believing servant who, if I take the life of his dear friend (or relative), he is patient, and anticipates his reward.”

We say it with a prayer: “God, make him a reward for us, a stored treasure, a forerunner, and an intercessor on our behalf.”  And we trust in Him when he says: “Give glad tidings to those who exercise patience. When they suffer a trial, they say: “To God do we belong and to Him will we return”. They are those who upon them are the blessings of their Lord, and Mercy. And they are those who are guided.” (Quran, 2: 155-157)

The Quran also tells us: “For, indeed with difficulty there is ease, indeed with difficulty there is ease.” And that ease can only come from the blessings of God and His mercy in this difficulty time.

By Umm Zakariya Gardee
(Courtesy of the Standard-Freeholder, March 3,2007)