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Self Confidence
The history of the world is
full of men who rose to leadership, by sheer force of self-confidence, bravery
and tenacity.
Mahatma Gandhi
 Self confidence is a belief that we have a fundamental ability to
manage our life. We believe in ourselves and we trust our basic tools, our
mind as an accurate processor of facts and reality, our emotions as authentic
expressions of who we are, and our actions as effective instruments to fulfill
our needs and desires. Even if we encounter obstacles and our own shortcomings,
we know that we can attain our goals after we develop the necessary skills and
knowledge.
The benefits from self confidence.
 | We are more productive. We pursue tasks without the distractions
of unnecessary doubt and fear. We are more assertive, because we feel that our
life is legitimate, so therefore our demands must also be legitimate. We
contribute our opinions and actions because we feel that we have something
worthwhile to add. We believe that we can conduct all aspects of our life, so we
take responsibility for them. This gives us control over them, and makes us less
dependent on other people. The resulting autonomy makes us attractive in social
situations and in the job market. People know that our self confidence will make
us expressive and dynamic rather than passive and needy. |
| Self confidence gives us courage. We believe in our innate capacity to
succeed in whatever we attempt, so we try new adventures, and we are creative.
We see life as a series of opportunities that are within our capabilities,
rather than a series of overwhelming crises. Even if we fail in an undertaking,
self confidence retains our sense of general competence. It lets us believe that
we can do better next time, so we are motivated to learn from our mistakes and
try again. |
Techniques for developing self confidence.
We can base our self confidence on reality. Self confidence has a
potential for self deception and self destruction. Certain skills, knowledge and
resources are necessary to reach particular goals, but we need to be realistic
about these factors before we invest our self confidence.
| Justify the self confidence. Self confidence is a belief in our
fundamental capability, but it isn't enough to assure success. Self
confidence may deceive a job interviewer, but we will flounder if we don't
have the abilities that we claimed. |
| Develop self confidence by looking at the successes. The way to
strengthen our belief that we are capable of success is by looking at our
past successes. We make a mental note of everything that works out for us,
and we acknowledge our good feeling about those events. Self confidence is
strengthened every time we recognize success. We need to notice it whenever
it occurs, not just in major accomplishments, but in every occasion. |
| Develop self confidence by creating attainable goals. Self confidence
is fortified whenever we achieve goals, so the goals we create must be ones
that present an appropriate amount of challenge. |
| Be with people who believe in you. While we are telling ourselves
about our competence, we can find other people who will tell us the same
things. These cheerleaders encourage us to reach for success, and they
support us and motivate us. |
| Express your self confidence. When we are self confident, we gain
people's trust. We are someone who can manage life with poise and
effectiveness. We show our self confidence by being comfortable and relaxed,
using body language that is expressive and assertive, not defensive or
aggressive, talking about ourselves as if we are capable, and showing a warm
smile and a firm handshake. |
Next topic: Niceness |
