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There must be, not a
balance of power, but a community of power; not organized rivalries, but an
organized peace.
Woodrow T. Wilson
Power is the ability to act effectively toward the attainment of a
goal. In interpersonal dynamics, it is the capacity to influence people
physically, emotionally, or intellectually, to compel them to perform, feel, or
think in a certain manner.
The positive aspects of power.
When we are powerful, we have more capability to be the person we want to be,
doing the activities we want to do. We make choices assertively. We survive, and
we thrive. We feel optimistic and confident. Powerless people feel helpless and
oppressed.
The negative aspects of power.
Power is only one aspect of the process of living in a dynamic world. It can
be defined as the administered vigor that makes things happen but power
disrupts that process when it is sought for its own sake, when we embrace a
position solely for the attainment of power. Power is meant to be the servant of
our efforts to reach goals that are based on our values. Even though one of
those values can be to obtain power, power frequently becomes an intoxicating
distraction away from other goals such as friendship, love, compassion, and
social accord. Instead of friendships, we have power alliances. Instead of
mutual cooperation, we have cold hearted calculations and enemies.
Techniques for gaining and using power.
| We can find many sources of power. Some of those sources include:
| Knowledge. Specialized knowledge includes human nature, motivation,
the workings of our occupation, and the world in general, plus other
information that increases our ability to participate and influence. |
| Skills. These are jobs skills, social skills, organizational skills,
and so on. |
| Influence. We can gain authority over people and resources. This can
mean anything in the spectrum from dictatorship to the swaying of other
people's opinions to the non-manipulative service as a role model and source
of inspiration and support. |
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| Take back your power. Sometimes gaining power means to take back the
power we have wrongly given away to people, beliefs, money, possessions, and
so on. To give our power away means to believe that someone or something is
better at serving our needs than we are. Certainly a doctor is better at
diagnosing our illness, but giving away our power would be to relinquish our
right to ask questions, and to inquire about options in treatment, and to seek
a second opinion. We take back our power by right sizing our estimation of
things:
| We don't project an inordinate value onto things. We don't believe
that money buys happiness, although it can buy goods and services that make
a personal world in which happiness is easier to attain. We can buy a home
in which we are comfortable, and gifts for friends, but we don't try to use
money to buy the particular things that money can't buy. We don't give
inordinate power to people, wrongly believing that they control our destiny
and dignity. |
| We are not fearful. However, we are appropriately cautious,
recognizing other people's power to hurt us. |
| We don't entrust people with the responsibility for our lives. In the
example, of the doctor, we don't expect the doctor to maintain our health. A
doctor can help us during crises, but our health maintenance is our
responsibility through a healthy lifestyle and diet. |
| We develop our own values, viewpoints, opinions, and decisions,
instead of letting other people impose theirs. |
|
| We can gain power from other people. In politics, international
relations, and interpersonal dynamics, the desire to govern other people can
be an expression of one of three aims: 1) to express power for its own sake by
using power to gain more power, or 2) to dominate people by using power to
impose our goals at the cost of theirs, or 3) to be a facilitator and steward,
to accomplish goals for the good of all. Stewardship offers these advantages:
| The steward has the capability of acquiring more power than does the
tyrant. Both the steward and the tyrant can build consent by
crystallizing the people's self interest toward a common goal but,
ultimately, the tyrant's personal aims will conflict with those of the
people, creating resentment and rebellion and a loss of the power that would
otherwise be given through the people's cooperation. A tyrant views this
turmoil as part of the game. A steward considers turmoil to be either an
unfortunate part of the creative process or as an indication that his or her
management has excluded people whose voices need to be heard. |
| The steward is more likely to have a reign of peace, and peace of mind.
The attitude toward leadership is that someone has to do it. What's
important is that the service be done, not that this person must be the one
to do it. When circumstances or a personal decision require a new person in
the position of power, the current steward may regret unfinished projects
and unfulfilled dreams, but the power is probably passed with dignity and tranquility, rather than with a tyrant's last gasp of destruction and self
destruction. |
| The power of stewardship is likely to be more endearing. People
readily give authority to a strong person who will use that power to benefit
them. Stewardship allows us to use power while retaining our human qualities
of kindness and love. Some of our most beloved heroes have been leaders who
used their power to help us and to make us stronger. The most hated people
have been those who used their power to hurt us to realize visions that did
not include us. |
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| Get power by taking responsibility.
To assume responsibility is to
participate actively in whatever is happening in our lives, so that we can
protect and enhance our interests. We lose power whenever fail to take
responsibility such as whenever we make excuses, or wrongly blame other
people, or claim victim hood when a situation was partly our fault, or unduly
react , rather than merely respond to people and situations, or relinquish
processes and outcomes to other people. We can assume responsibility in such
matters as our finances, health, job, personal relationships, actions,
thoughts, feelings, problems, successes and failures, various circumstances,
and our life in general. The fact is that we are responsible for those things,
regardless of whether we acknowledge this fact. Even when we take
responsibility, we cannot control all events around us, but we can still
assert responsibility and power by selecting our responses to those events. |
| Express power through every action you make. Power is an aspect of our
general assertiveness into life. It gives our assertiveness a forceful presence
that must be acknowledged by people and materials. At every moment, we are
interacting with the outer world and our inner world, so we have an opportunity
to select whichever position allows us to express and receive power. The
management of power is a skill that can be practiced constantly.
If you tell the truth,
you have infinite power supporting you; but if not, you have infinite power
against you.
Charles Gordon |
Next topic: Will |