Poetry and Prose

Amsterdam

Newest addition to this section is by Rachel, titled "Angel Observations", below my first poem:

"I Miss You, Baby"

by Jim

Hello Andrea, how have you been
What's it like on the other end
What's it like in heaven's hold
Is it just as we were told

The life you lived was filled with hurt
You felt ground into the dirt
But you never gave up the fight
Til God reached out and took you that night

My Piglet, I miss you so much
I miss your lips, I miss your touch
I miss your smile, I miss your charm
I pray that now you're free from harm

I know that you are in that place
I know that God left you a space
I know that now your heart will heal
And he will take the pain you feel

So tell me Andrea, if you can
What's it like in God's land
What's it like on the other end
And are you happy my special friend

Newest addition is by Rachel

Angel Observations

Sometimes when I look into your eyes
I can see your smile at the same time you cry.
I look into your soul when you let me
I see brightness shining through the dark.

I know you are troubled
But I can see your hope
You're holding on with feelings strong
Afraid to let go
Afraid of what you know.
I would like to help you
In any way I can
there are times when you let me,
and when you don't...
I understand.

I can see your anger
It drives you to the bone.
You keep it all inside
and you suffer all alone.
I can see your sadness
I can feel your pain
I've come to bring you comfort
My sweet angel
Lay your head upon my shoulder
Cry your, how you think, are forbidden tears.

When you bleed I will kiss your blood
Your blood that flows as tears.
When you scream because you've had enough-
Instead of covering, I will open up my ears.
When torn in misery I will hold you
Let you throw some punches too...
Just get it all out
I'll always be there-
when you're looking troubled-
as you often do,
Remember that I am here;
watching over you.

"Sometimes"

by Jim

Written for Andrea's 18th birthday party

Sometimes when I'm near you
My heart will skip a beat
My breath will catch a moment
My knees suddenly get weak

Sometimes when I look at you
I can't stop from staring
Your beauty is amazing
Your heart can be so caring

Sometimes as you lie there
Sleeping peacefully
I thank God for every moment
That you are here with me

Sometimes you will say things
That I know you don't really mean
I remind myself to be patient
Even though I want to scream

Sometimes I try to hold your hand
But you pull away from me
Or I try to kiss you on the cheek
But you turn so I can't see

Sometimes I might ask myself
Why it has to be so hard
But ALWAYS I want you to know
I love you for who you are

Untitled

by Laura B.

Andrea, with your big, beautiful, expressful eyes

Thru your soul mate Jim, your story has touched my life in a way I cannot deny

Your stories make me laugh, give me hope, and sometimes they make me cry

I know your pain, how hard it was for you to try and stop the hurt inside

How in the end, you were making it, you were giving it your best try

I know how you could push away the ones who most loved you

I walk in your shoes, I have been there too.

Your life was ended way to soon, doesn't seem fair

I'm so glad that you knew before it did, you had a love that cared

You may have gone on to a better place, but your life has changed mine

I deserve to be the one that's gone - you are such an Angel

But if not for you and your story, I may never have had the strength for you to help me in time

God knew you had a soulmate, and he had a plan

But the way he wants his work done, sometimes its hard to understand

Your being gone is helping others with your soulmates drive to tell your story and life

I know that doesn't change the fact of you being gone, cuts him like a knife

Thru you, I've seen myself and the world, and somehow I know you

I wonder if you know how much you've helped me,and thru Jim, how you will help others too

God doesn't like to see an Angel like you in pain

So perhaps he took you, before you could take your own life in vain

I know there are no more tears for you now, only the peace you

Had searched so hard for, for so long

You wanted so much to help others in pain, I guess its not fair to say that God taking you was wrong

I know your song, it is mine too

You are in the arms of the Angel, and you have found your comfort there

Your life here on earth has brought comfort to me, has given me hope, a reason to care

But in your passing, to your soulmate it has brought much despair

Andrea, I know you are working thru him now

Continuing your desire to help others, I hope you can take away his pain somehow

I believe your story will touch many lives as it has mine, others like me

Now that you are truly an Angel, no one will have to tell you, for you will see

Let Jim know your there for him, because I feel your presence here with me

Not a day goes by that your story doesn't touch me, and that is how it will always be

You have your wings now beautiful lady, no more pain, just peace happiness and love

Beautiful Angel keep watch on us from up above

And let your soulmate know this is not the end of the line

He will see you again when the time comes, in the Great Divine....

Untitled

by Rachel

I often wonder what has happened to me
is this my unfolding destiny?
I blink once, I blink twice
please don't let this be-
I'm heading towards utter misery

I'm speeding like a bullet
to drive through your chest
I hope you're wearing
a bullet proof vest

I don't want to break your heart
I don't want to be the pain wrenching through your guts
do not let me penetrate you
don't let me rip you apart.

Don't fall for my lies
I will only destroy
don't give in to the charm
you are only my ploy.

I didn't mean to discard you
but I did mean to warn you
now look at what I've done to you-
I've ripped right on through.

As I turn to walk away
Leaving you bleeding on the floor
trust me-you didn't want me to stay
I'm sparing you from anything more.

I close my eyes
hiding from the pain-
that I've caused you
hoping that I'll
never do this again.

Affliction

by Jim
June, 2003

How can you have such passion
With manic depression in your mind
With this affliction that you find
Causes you to take such actions

One second you are fine
Then the next you shout in anger
Blaming others, you point the finger
I walk on eggshells all the time

Then next I know you show such spirit
You open up your heart to me
The person who God has set free
Who challenges life and doesnt fear it

In you I see the future
For one so young youve seen so much
Young children in trouble need your touch
All the things that you can teach them

About living through adversity
Learning to live with an affliction
Pointing them in the right direction
From life and the university

Let Me Be the One

by Jim

16 August 2003

Let me be the one to save you
And bring you to his grace
Let me be the one to tell you
What stands to be your fate

Let me be the one to love you
And show you where to go
Let me be the one to guide you
So that you will know

Let me be the one to heal you
To take away the pain
Let me be the one to show you
A way out of the rain

Let me be the one to touch you
Deep inside your soul
Let me be the one to hold you
And bring you to the fold

"Angels"

By Laura

There are Angels around us
Loved ones gone away
Angels that we loved in life
Even gone, they are here to stay
Open your heart, for you must believe
Open your soul, so your eyes can see

You are not alone
They are here, yet there

Waiting for you to come home
Put aside your sadness, put aside your fears

And let your heart believe in the unknown
And know, always without a doubt

Andrea is there, and you will never be alone

Pain

by Jim

August 2003

How do I stop the pain inside me
Where do I find the strength
How do I set myself free
I must go to any length

How do I stop the pain inside me
Just what do I have to do
Please help me to see
The strength I see in you

For you have found what I need
You are on the way
I need you to lead
I want you to stay

I need a purpose in life
Something to focus on
To get away from the strife
I need a new dawn

I need you near me
To laugh with and cry
I want you to see
And to understand why

Because I have to stop the pain
Or I will not survive
How do I stop the rain
From falling on my life

Untitled

by Rachel

I want to be missed while I'm away
I want to be welcomed when I return
In this place i have found-
all these wishes confirmed.

By the way you say my name
the excitement you have for me
I wipe away the falling tears
you touched my very soul.

I've never experienced anything quite like it
I could never get used to it
It touches me every time
and will forever do so.

So when I do leave this place,
I'll take with me the memories of you all
I will always remember the uniqueness
of each individual soul.

The nervousness has vanished
the fears have been erased
you leave with me-
the most sweetest taste.

I want to thank you for your caring
thank you for being who you are
thank you for caring
and the memories of it all.

What Am I to Do

by Jim
22 August 2003

What do I do when anger breaks us apart
What do I do when sadness enters my heart
What do I do when love has gone away
What do I do when you say that you wont stay

Where do I go to mend this broken spirit
Where do I go to speak so you will hear it
Where do I go to bring love back again
Where do I go to repent for all my sins

When will my life be peaceful once again
When will my mind allow you back in
When will I be able to forgive
When will I again live the life I lived

Who do I find to help me along the way
Who do I seek to bring love back to stay
Who do I tell the things I want to say
Who do I see for the help I need today

Why do I do the things that I do
Why did I do the things I did to you
Why did you do the things you did to me
Why cant we make each other see

Note to Andrea

by Jim

When you first walked into the room
I couldnt believe my eyes
You had a bounce to your step
I was so mesmerized

Then I saw you later
Out by the fire
We played guitar together
Until it was time to retire

You followed me to my room
I wasnt sure what to do
You were so beautiful
And so bubbly too

Our first day together was magic
And many more would follow
I never felt such feelings
Now my life is hollow
(Not really, but it rhymed)

What was it that happened
That pushed us away
I loved you so much then
And I still do today

It will never be as it was
But things could still change
We could be close again
In a different way

Let me make a proposal
Will you be my friend
I know this rhyme sucks
So now it will end

HAHA

Untitled

by Rachel

I want to be a writer
but do I have what it takes?
I want to be perfect
wipe away all the mistakes
I want to be reminded
of all the pain I've felt
so that joy is everlasting
etched forever in my heart

once you mind is open
as well as long with your heart-
you can move a mountain
but that's no place to start.
Why would I move a mountain
when i can lift a soul
which is more important
the answer is quite clear

I want to be the one you go to
when you want somebody near
I want to be the one you look for
when you're blinded by your tears
I want to hold your hand
when you feel all alone
I want you to know
that I care and am here.

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