Everyone thinks that Heaven has a dress code. And not only that, they think that they're the only ones who know what
it is. Muslims have beards and priests have collars and others wear all kinds of funny hats and turbans and robes and shoes.
I've never really understood it, that way of thinking. Like there's something you can wear, or some ritual you can perform,
or a certain way to stand or place to go, that will please whatever God or Spirit or Voodoo Man you believe in. And not only
that, but that the places you go or things you do or wear will somehow make up for the way you cussed at the homeless guy
or kicked that dog through a hedge or kept the extra change that the cashier gave you at the 7-11.
I think it's more important what's in your heart, what you believe in, and how you treat other people, than what you
have on, or whether you stood naked in a circle during the full moon, or the length of your beard.
I'm not talking about Muslims, or Orthodox folks, or Pagans or Catholics. Not really. I'm talking about all of them.
It would be easier if things were like this. You could learn a few words of Latin, or wear a funny hat, and it wouldn't
matter what else I did. In fairness, folks say the same thing about Christians who get "saved". They say, just get saved and
then you can do whatever you want, it doesn't matter.
I think anyone with either of these attitudes is 100% wrong.
The truth is that most folks don't believe either one; they just don't care. They live like they're driving a big car
and they always have the right of way, and if you're their friend or something, your foot is always sore from jamming it down
on your imaginary brake pedal on the passenger's side.
Southern Baptists
I don't believe in organized religion, anyway. That's why I'm a Southern Baptist. Because one thing they're not, it's
organized.
Southern Baptists don't have a dress code, although most folks seem to think we do: For the women it's flowery dresses
and big poofy hair and bright red nail polish, and for the men its powder blue suits and hair plugs. This is totally false!!!
That dress code only applies to pastors and their wives, and the hairplugs are optional.
Southern Baptists don't have rituals, either. Well, we do have a few, but mostly they involve where to park your car
Sunday mornings.
Lots of folks seem to think that to be a Southern Baptist, you have to give up a lot of things and not do certain things.
This is true a lot of times. Anyway, if you want to be a good Southern Baptist it is. Like they don't like drinking at all,
and like most churches they frown on sex outside of marriage. You can still go to parties, though, as long as you call them
"fellowships". And you can still gossip, but you have to call it "sharing".
Believe What You Want
And See If I Care
It could be that I am totally wrong about all this and that I really should grow a beard and wear a special hat and sacrifice
a live goat. I don't believe it, though, not for a second. And I sure don't see how folks can want to go to war and hurt and
kill one another over what kind of hat they ought to be wearing.
Another thing folks say to justify whatever they're doing or believing is how ancient their religion is, especially when
they say it "pre-dates Christianity". Folks love to say that, which is odd because practically every other religion pre-dates
Christianity except Islam. But folks seem to think that just because a stupid idea is thousands of years old then it's
no longer stupid. There are lots of things that pre-date Christianity that are extraordinarily stupid, such as 1) the idea
that the earth is flat, 2) living in caves, and 3) hunting wild animals with sticks.
I'm not against anyone believing whatever they want to. They can draw all their circles on the floor and chant in whatever
language they want to, it doesn't matter to me. Do I think the world would be a better place if everyone agreed with me about
everything? Of course. Am I wanting to ride out on my horse to slay the infidels? Um, no. I'm not even trying to convert anyone
to my way of thinking now, I'm just making an observation. Besides, everyone has dress codes and rituals, even lots of Christians.
The Amish, the Catholics, the Orthodox churches, the Coptic Churches in Egypt and Ethiopia. Then there's the Muslims, the
Jews, Hindus, Taoists, Shinoists, even those American Indians with their hallucinogenic mushrooms. I can't convert all those
people. Especially the ones that are hallucinating.
