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I wish I could watch Land of The Giants. I guess I was too little when it was on because I only have vague memories
of the show itself, although I do remember a kid in first grade who had a Land of The Giants lunchbox, and I really
the only reason that stands out is because he hit me in the head with it. It was one of those heavy, square, metal lunchboxes
that they don't make anymore, mostly because kids went around hitting each other in the head with them, I think. Kind of the
same reason why playgrounds are now all soft molded plastic on a bed of wood chips instead of industrial steel set in concrete
like they were when I was a kid.
Things were simpler back then.
Anyway, I've been waiting for Land of The Giants to come out on DVD but so far it hasn't. The Time Tunnel
has, but not Land of The Giants, which sucks.
Part I: Little Tiny People
Are Trying To Kill Me
The idea of little tiny people fascinates me. I'm not sure why.
There are psychologists and sociologists who would say that it signifies my feelings of insignificance, or maybe my need
to dominate. I'm not sure myself, though I am quite certain that I'm not one of those who needs to control or dominate other
people. It's hard enough being responsible for my own life and my own behavior, without trying to control someone else's.
But whatever the reason, I like the idea that there's a whole race of people living right alongside us, affected by the
same things that affect us, and we're totally unaware of it. Maybe they have their own rules and laws, their own religions
and maybe even their own governments, only of course they're completely alien to us because their rules and religions and
governments are based on keeping themselves secret from us.
Which would be a lot easier, I think, if they weren't all trying to kill me, and follow me around and listen to me and
talk about me. I know they are. I just know it.
Part II: The Spindrift
The Spindrift was the name of the ship that took the normal, regular-sized guys to the giant planet. It was
never explained where the planet was, or why it was that the giants knew about us but we didn't know about them, or why they
were more advanced in some areas but not others, or why they were so humungously gigantic.
Here is a picture of a hot 60's girl in a white bikini holding the Spindrift. To me, it looks something like
a hot 60's girl in a white bikini holding a vacuum cleaner, but I wonder if maybe to the little tiny people who live
in the Land of The Giants, this isn't the equivalent of one of those calanders you see in muffler shops where all these hot
girls are straddling auto parts and laid out on the roofs of cars.
I can totally see, if there were a race of tiny little people, how some of them would be attracted to giants. I mean
I could hear them going "I like really big women. I mean, huge, giant women, 30 feet tall!"
Not that I would be. It's hard enough dealing with normal-sized women; I can't imagine one that would have that kind
of advantage over me. Though when I think about it, it might kind of be like dating a movie star or a celebrity or a really
rich woman, or just anyone with that kind of lifestyle, anyone with enough money or power to just crush you like a bug, or
walk away and forget all about you like you were unimportant.
That would suck.
Part III: Giant Monkeys
It would really suck though, that not just the people but all the animals would be giants too. Or at least they were
on this show, like all the dogs and cats. And I don't know if they ever met a monkey but that would be especially scary
even though monkeys are always funny otherwise.
I tried to find a good picture of a monkey to put here and I found this one of a chimpanzee holding a glock.
It doesn't remind me of Land of The Giants but it does remind me of this Batman comic book I read once where
for some reason Batman was in a wheelchair and so he sat in the batcave with this weird antenna thing on his head that was
connected to this other guy, and it gave Bruce Wayne total control over the other guy's body so while he's holed up in the
batcave he's also using this other guy's body to be Batman. But the thing was, this other guy was not in physically perfect
condition like Batman is, so he wound up getting hurt real bad when Bruce Wayne tried some kung fu or something and the guy
couldn't do it.
That's the only reason I can think of why a monkey would have a gun, is if someone else was controlling it. Maybe it's
Batman. I just don't know.
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