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For some reason when I do a search on the name "Skeletor," the search turns up a lot of sites where people write about
how gay they think Skeletor was.
Mostly I think it's just because people like to sexualize everything so much, and find it humorous especially to corrupt
things that are innocent. Like, say, this video I came across where all the muppets on Sesame Street go on a fun-filled journey to the Holy Land, and
wouldn't it be funny to find out that they were really there at the behest of Zionist agents in the US Military who are using
them as double agents. I think that's funny, like seeing the Muppets planting bombs and driving tanks. The same way, I guess,
that people think it's funny to say that Skeletor was gay.
Personally, I don't know whether Skeletor was gay or not. I don't think you can discern someone's sexual orientation
by how they look. And while I don't think there's anything stereotypically gay about having a skull for a head, I do think
that one man having an obsession with the destruction of another man does seem kind of...gay. Like Lex Luthor, and how it
wouldn't surprise anyone to find out that he wakes up at night screaming Superman's name, and while I don't like to judge
about such things, it does seem like an odd thing for a heterosexual to be doing.
I don't spend a lot of time wondering what super villians do in the bedroom, but I can say with certainty that the Joker
is flamboyantly gay, and if Skeletor is gay then so is the Red Skull. Except the Red Skull is a Nazi and he has to stay closeted.
Like I said, I don't really care what super-villians do in the privacy of their own lairs. Or anyone, for that matter,
as long as they don't try to involve me in it. But the idea that someone could have a skull for a face is kind of intriguing.
When I was in high school, and He-Man and the Masters of The Universe were at the height of their popularity, my friend Chris
and I used to do an impression of Skeletor trying to talk without any lips, and almost everything came out with an "R" sound,
and it was impossible to make sounds like "M," "B," or "P". I guess we assumed that Skeletor had vocal chords and a tongue.
As I'm much older now, and more sophisticated, the thing that I wonder about now is how does Skeletor, or the Red Skull, drink
through a straw with no lips. Or drink anything, really. I mean, they're supposed to be these bad-ass villians who indulge
their every whim just because they can, but it doesn't seem like they'd be able to drink anything without having it all go
dribbling down their shirts. I read a comic book once where Red Skull tried to drink some wine and he just tilted his head
back and poured it in, but it went all over down the sides of his face, and they didn't show him coughing and sputtering but
it made me wonder how he kept it from going into his nose-holes.
And how come Red Skull always has that little cigarette in his mouth? How does he inhale? He must have a huge lung capacity
to be able to inhale, with no lips.
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