Sometimes people come to me for advice and all I do is ask them questions until they figure out the answers for themselves,
and sometimes that pisses them off because what they want is someone to make their problems go away, and not have to tell
them that they have any actual work to do to solve their own problems.
Like say some dude will ask me "My girlfriend said such-and-such, what do you think she meant by that?" There are degrees
of stupidity for this question, depending on how well I know this dude's girlfriend, what she supposedly said, and who is
asking me this question. Many adult males will ask for "advice" about bullshit problems they just made up, just because they're
so thrilled to even have a girlfriend that they'll look for any excuse to talk about it.
This Chick @ The Office
Or say some dude knows this woman at work or something, and they talk or they do lunch a lot of times, and he wants to
be all relationshippy with her, but it's clear to everyone but him that it's never going to go anywhere, because the only
time he's ever even seen her outside of the office is when he borrowed his cousin's truck to help move her stuff into her
boyfriend's apartment, but he'll make up stuff to complain about her just to have an excuse to talk about her to someone else.
Making up excuses to complain about someone that you wish you were having a relationship with is the second stage of
having an imaginary relationship. The first is talking about her all the time so that people will ask if you want to be in
a relationship with her, just so that you can deny that you have feelings for her and then make it seem like you have some
kind of Sam-and-Diane, love-you-but-hate-you thing going on. Either one is equally effective, and by that of course I mean
not effective at all and actually kind of pathetic.
"Kim says my hair is too long. She's always going on and on about it."
"Dude, doesn't she like, live with someone?"
"Well, yeah, we're just friends, but we talk a LOT."
"At work you mean?"
It's like he's either made up this whole intimate relationship with her that's progressed to this point where he feels
like he can make up shit to complain about her to people she doesn't even know, or he's deluded himself into thinking that
someday she may actually want him and his freakish optimism isn't dissuaded by the fact that she's living with and probably
engaged to some other dude.
My sympathy for guys like this extends about 2 seconds, which is where my annoyance begins, and while I like to be supportive
of my friends I don't see the use of feeding into someone's delusion that they're wearing an invisible parachute when they're
about to jump out of an actual airplane.
Usually the best advice I give is no advice at all, so I would just ask them questions about how they feel or wat kind
of signals they get from these women in their lives until they can honestly realize for themselves that expressing no interest,
never calling or even seeing each other outside of work, and being involved in long-term committed relationships with other
dudes are pretty good indicators that it's time to move on.
My Best Friend's Drunk Wife
When asking for advice just to get attention, some guys do the opposite, which is that they ask for advice or complain
about stuff just so that they can brag about something.
"I have a problem, man. I was over at Kevin's the other night and we were all drinking and his wife kept flirting
with me."
"So did you sleep with her?"
"No! I didn't sleep with her! What kind of guy do you think I am?"
"Did Kevin find out and now he's mad at you? Or did you tell him? Is that it?"
"I don't think he knows, and I don't see any point in telling him."
"So what's the problem?"
"I just don't know what to do about it!"
And I just kind of stare at him and don't say anything, because really there is no problem, unless you're the kind of
guy who no woman will ever come on to ever, and it's such a big deal when one of them finally does that the only real problem
you have is that you can't tell everyone about it without pretending that it's some kind of moral crisis.
Conclusion
Guys like this are just dicks.
