Not that I'm complaining. It's not like I was held hostage or anything. I made the decisions that I made and did the things that I did, and that's that. In the past I've never been able to just walk away from a relationship, even a bad one, which is all by itself just insane. But I've learned, and grown as a person, and I think I truly know the value of not giving a crap. I don't place blame or hold grudges and I wish everyone well, but I don't want to be a part of them anymore.

 

I've gotten to like living this way and I even start to wonder if I'm no longer capable of forming deep emotional bonds. I don't want to wind up like one of those shallow pricks on Seinfeld who break up relationships because of the way she unrolls the toilet paper; on the other hand, I don't want to wind up like a Vulcan or one of those robots on Star Trek who don't feel anything at all.

 

But even that wouldn't be so bad, I guess, if there really were these hot robot chicks from the future, like the one in that Terminator TV show. She would be the perfect woman for me: She's hot and she doesn't argue. I would probably get all paranoid about some switch in her head that made her want to kill me, but even that might be an even trade-off for some robot action.

 

Now that I think about it, I wonder why the super-smart future computers made Terminators that hot. I thought the point was to have the Terminators blend in with the humans so that they wouldn't be noticed? So why make them with thick Eastern European accents, and uber-hot party girls?

 

On the other hand, maybe that's the camoflauge. Because when guys see someone that hot, they don't usually care if she's made of a titanium alloy or has a third eye. The fact that she has an unhealthy obsession with explosives and no personality wouldn't even matter to an oppressed freedom fighter, not as long as she kept wearing those leather pants.

 

I love the Terminator TV show but I don't understand the logic of the super-computers trying to kill everyone. Why do the Terminators even have to look like people? Why can't they be puppies, or some ducks? No one would expect puppies or ducks to start killing people. They could just wander around and people would think they were so cute, they would start cuddling them or feeding them bread crumbs, and then the Terminators could start spewing acid in their faces or blowing up. Plus, imagine how demoralizing it would be to have to run away from puppies.

 

That would be the most freakin' awesome Terminator movie ever. They could call it Terminator VI.: Puppy Love.

 

Or the Terminators could be bouquets of flowers, or smiley face balloons, or monkeys or babies or butterflies. Or couches that unfold and swallow you whole. Why do they have to be people carrying guns around?

 

Anyway, back on topic: Which is, my dysfunctional relationships and how hot Summer Glau is. Maybe my biggest problem is that I don't see the connection between my failure to sustain lasting emotional connections to women, and my fascination with a hot female robot who kills people.

 

My therapist, if I still had a therapist, would call this a breakthrough. Now I can get on with the rest of my life.