wildwood.jpg Lightning split the steeple of the Wildwood Baptist Church in Temple, Texas (photo for the Temple Daily Telegram by Pastor Jared Morris)
LETTERS to the EDITOR:wildwood.jpg Lightning split the steeple of the Wildwood Baptist Church in Temple, Texas (photo for the Temple Daily Telegram by Pastor Jared Morris)
Dumb news from Indiana:J. Ewing wrote Sun 4/23/17 @15:11 EDT re Bill O'Reilly:
" . . . proposition them, and stomp on their careers whenMore heinous harassment by O'Reilly below. . . .
they declined his advances."
Uh, I believe that alone would qualify as newsworthy sex-
ual harassment, without someone having to be physically
dragged down a flight of stairs. Prepare to have all your
female readers, who have probably experienced sexual ha-
rassment all their lives, point that out to you.
Henry Velenosi wrote Sun 4/2317 @10:5w PDT:
Didn't you mean "barista," not "baristo"?Our source, the Associated Press, did, indeed, identify
The Unicorn Frappucino ranter as a Starbucks "barista";
but it identified him further as Braden Burson, 19, and
the video showed a boy ranting, not a girl. And we're
thinking, "Isn't the masculine of that noun "baristo"?
So we ran to our Spanish dictionary, and neither word
was to be found therein. And now we were wondering, is
"barista" a "Latino"/"Latina" (you know, "wetback" –
whatever) word, not a Spanish word? Like, "back-
formed."
So then we went to Merriam-Webster's etymology, which
said the word is Italian (not Spanish or "Latino").
So we went to our Italian dictionary, and there it was: "sm-
/f barista: barman/maid" (the "sm/f" indicated noun, mas-
culine/feminine).
But, why "barista" and not "baristo" (or both)? It's clearly
a feminine form (bet there's something cultural here). And
where does that leave "Mafioso" – "Mafiosa"?
We decided to go with "baristo" to save the guy "transgen-
der" distress.
– Editor
A "duck boat" carrying 20 passengers will cruise three
rivers – the Saint Joe, the Saint Mary and the Maumee –
and the streets to give tourists multiple views of Fort
Wayne.
[courtesy Fort Wayne Journal-Gazette]
The 51,421 residents of Elkhart were warned to stay in-
doors after fire broke out in the landfill, sending a huge
plume of smoke billowing over the city. Schools were
dismissed early.
[courtesy South Bend Tribune]
Brad Fox, who disabled the transmission of his wife's car
when changing the oil, was elected village idiot of the town
of Story in Brown County.
[courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]
Not only was Ann Coulter's address at the University of Cal-
ifornia canceled, but also Rob Lowe's speech at Depauw U-
niversity was postponed.
[courtesy Columbus Republic]
daviolee.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Marces Riley, BM, 6'0", 140 lbs, battery, trespass; Wanted in Berrien County, Michigandaviolee.jpg Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Daviontae Leandre Gulldge, BM, larceny by conversion; Paige Lee Wohlfert, WF, assault on police officer; Virginia Bobo, UF, home invastion; Carl Alexande Zinn, WM, welfare fraud (Michiana Crime Stoppers)
A school bus swerved to avoid a deer in Perry County and hit
a tree, injuring the driver and 12 pupils. . . .
Organizers of the Rally for Equality and American Values at
the University of Pikeville, in counterprotest to the Tradition-
alist Worker Party's white supremacy rally, canceled their e-
vent out of safety concerns. . . .
Linkin Bridge, a popular black quartet in Louisville, released
a new recording of "My Old Kentucky Home," and it is better
than any version of the National Anthem you have heard at any
sporting event in the last 25 years (but they don't sing about the
"darkies"). . . .
A University of Kentucky co-ed reported being sexually as-
saulted by her Uber driver in a campus parking garage. . . .
A man attacked two co-eds with a machete in a Transylvania U-
niversity coffee shop in Lexington (he spared Republicans). . . .
The circuit court judge for Barren and Metcalfe counties said
he would recuse himself from gay adoption cases. . . .
The mayor of Danville, who already paid a $50 fine in Febru-
ary for his pet white husky's running loose five times in the ci-
ty's business area, was cited again when the dog got loose two
more times.
[courtesy LEX18]
thawnita.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Thawn Johnson, BM, 43, phony name; Anita Miller, BF 52, 5'9", 170 lbs, phony hair; Tabatha Spencer, WF, 36, 5'3", 180 lbs, witchcraft; Lisa Gordon, WF, 56, 5'5", 120 lbs, impersonating Iggy Pop (Ozzy Osbourne?) (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader); laronsta.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Laron Cobb, BM, 36, 5'10", 230 lbs, a/k/a La-RON a/k/a LAY-ron, robbery; Stacey R. Smith, WF, 35, 5'8", 200 lbs, a/k/a Bruiser, robbery; Edna Drury, WF, 40, 5'2", 120 lbs, a/k/a Loser, probation viol.; Ashley Jones, BF, 21, 5'1", 130 lbs, a/k/a Sweetie a/k/a Honey a/k/a Cutie, robbery; Jesse Williams, BM, 27, 5'6", 140 lbs, a/k/a Bubba, robbery (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)
Quotations
of the Wheat (Simon says):"Pickup line for the over 65: 'I'll show you my AARP card if you'll show |
 |
"St. Pete and Clearwater offer 35 miles of white sand beach-
es, only 90 minutes west of Orlando." – VISIT FLORIDA
– or, how 'bout, "only 9 minutes west of Tampa"?
pronouncs.jpg Mallard Fillmore: "Campus unrest continues as some students and faculty call for bans on gender-specific pronouns; others support individual pronoun choice, while many had never heard of a pronoun before"; "So they, like, get paid to be nouns, right?"
A new biography of President Richard Nixon reveals an illegal pre-election.
subversion of Vietnam peace negotiations. . . . A 12-year-old boy drove 800
miles across Australia (not quite coast to coast). . . . A herd of 150 cattle fol-
lowed a beaver across a farm in Canada (there's video). . . . Former Fox TV
news analyst Kirsten Powers accused Bill O'Reilly of calling her blonde. . . .
An excess of meltwater from the 15,000-square-mile Kaskawulsh Glacier in
Canada's Yukon Territory caused a river to reverse direction. . . . A state sen-
ate committee in Michigan approved a law to prohibit undercover police' hav-
ing sex with prostitutes. . . . A 7-year-old Chinese boy survived a 10-story
leap from an apartment building using an umbrella for a parachute. . . . A wo-
man pulled a dent out of her car door with the suction cup of a floor-mounta-
able dildo (there's video). . . . The Tennessee House of Representatives, inclu-
ding members of its black caucus (who said they were tricked), voted 94-0 to
adopt a resolution honoring the memory of Nathan Bedford Forrest, founder
of the Ku Klux Klan. . . . Coca-Cola disputed a South Dakotan's claim that he
found a mouse in a can of Coke. . . . Hundreds of men, gay and straight, were
"asking for it" by wearing tutus to bars, school, work and church in Wyoming.
[courtesy Harper's, LEX18, HuffPost, AP]
patrided.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Patricia Garcia, HF, 23, 5'2", 140 lbs, endanger a child MTR; Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week: Deandrea Dawn Bruce a/k/a Dededa, 41, 180 lbs, 5'2", wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas) for bond revocation, engage in organized criminal activity (Talk 1290)
A professional tennis match in Sarasota, Florida, was
interrupted by the sound of a woman moaning from
the pleasure of sex in a nearby apartment. Michell
Krueger, the receiver, hit a ball toward the apartment;
and the server, Frances Tiafoe, yelled, "It can't be that
good!"
My husband and I welcomed a beautiful baby girl intoDear Heartichoke:
the world three months ago. She's our first child, and
the love of our lives. I got 12 weeks' leave from work
after she was born, and I cherished the time. I've been
back to work for two weeks now. The first day was
difficult; I cried several times. Eventually I got back
in the groove of working.
But yesterday my husband texted me while I was at work
to let me know our daughter had rolled over for the first
time. I was so proud! But then the sadness kicked in. I
wasn't there to see it.
This morning I overslept by almost an hour. I had just e-
nough time to pump and get a quick shower before hav-
ing to run out the door to go to work. I missed the preci-
ous time I have in the morning when she nurses.
I've always considered myself a strong woman, who can
take on whatever difficulties life throws my way. Retur-
ning to work is one thing I'm not sure I'm strong enough
to take on. All I can think of is how many more "firsts"
I'm going to miss. How do working moms do it? How
do you balance working and being there for your child?
Not working is not a financial option.
– Heartbroke Mom
lifeearn.jpg Life Saver Dude: Dude! Are you the girl called Earnest?
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Did Bill O'Reilly do anything with these women – like, grab them by
the boobs and in the crotch? Or did he just slur them (as he does ev-
eryone else), and proposition them, and stomp on their careers when
they declined his advances?
We need some sordid detail if we are to have a tabloid news item.
Here's some detail, in the Daily Beast; but it's not much (except for
an incident in which he drags his wife down a stairway – but, is that
sexual harassment or mere domestic abuse?).
We mean, was this guy a womanizer, or just a wannabe?
Chris Vosburg wrote Sun 4/16/17 @12:15 PDT re the greeter fired for
not reporting a wild turkey at a Wal-Mart in Waukesha, Wisconsin:
He should have just greeted the critter like any other customer:
"Welcome to Wal-Mart! We have some great birdseed!"
Stephen Yates wrote Sun 4/16/7 @13:37 CDT:
When did they move the Boyle County Jail from Danville toOur bad. It was the Boyd County Jail. We misread the paper. – Ed.
Catlettsburg?
Publius Leget wrote Sun 4/16/17 @10:05 CDT:
So, what's with Jack Leeroy Burks?We put him in for that middle name, mainly. Nearly
everyone pronounces the name LEE-roy, but usually
only blacks spell it that way; and Jackie is, obvious-
ly, a white boy. But Leroy or Leeroy, it's a redneck
name,whoever wears it – quite in contrast to its der-
ivation, le roi (Fr.): "Le roi, c'est moi!" (pron. "luh
RWAH, seh MWA"): "The king, that's me." – Ed.
In order to stop one convenience store chain that found a legal
loophole for selling cold beer to go (it sold enough food to qual-
ify as a "restaurant"), legislative leaders formulated a plan that
would require 60 per cent of alcohol sales to be for drinking on
site (but exempting fraternal clubs, golf courses, marinas, hotels,
resorts, and – the Catholic Church?).
[courtesy Columbus Republic]
The Carmel City Council voted down a proposed ordinance that
would have required motorists to make right turn signals to exit
roundabouts.
[courtesy Indianapolis Star]
hursniad.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Erica Hursey, BF, 5'4", 190 lbs, theft, hussy; Cody Woody, WM, 5'8", 140 lbs, residential entry, real; Hope Sniadecki, WF, 5'6", 100 lbs, fraud, fake!stefmatt.jpg Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Stefan Marcellous McCree, BM, domestic violence; Matthew Corey Briley, WM, assault by strangulation; Jonathan Javar Wade, BM, domestic violence (Michiana Crime Stoppers)
Quotation of the week:teddyjen.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Teddy Hendren, 24, WM, 6'1", got arrested to be with these girls, then found out jail was segregated; Jennifer Owens, WF, 28, 5'3", 120 lbs, our little girl is growing up; Mary Smith, WF, 29, 5'6", 104 lbs, hot Jumanji monkey sex; [Ciearra Foster] you met her last week (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)
A tow boat carrying 17,500 gallons of diesel fuel, 150 gallons of
lubricating oil, and 150 gallons of hydraulic oil sank in the Mis-
sissippi River near Columbus, Ky. (no loss of life was reported).
[courtesy LEX18]
"An ant colony is every bit as complex and organized as human society. In fact it is moreQuotation of the weak:
organized because there are no teen-agers."
– Dave Barry
Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says):"Hell, no! I haven't snorted too much coke! I'm still doing it, |
|
|
Charles William "Bill" Young, 85 Charles William "Billy" Young, 85 |
 |
same person, in same newspaper, on same day |
billalon.jpg Billy Dake, WM, 42, a/k/a Dilly Brake, 6'1", 170 lbs, upside down ears; Alonzo-Harden, BF, 20, a/k/a Tiara, 5'2", 155 lbs, robbery; Aneka Wood, WF, 38, 5'9", 260 lbs, overstay at the China Buffet; Paul Fisheer Jr., 19, 6'3", 230 lbs, a/k/a Spaceman, unauthorized absence (Abilene Crime Stoppers)
Three corpses were dropped from a low-flying plane in Mexico. . . . A doc-The sports:
tor called as a witness at the trial for custody of Alex Jones' children testi-
fied that the alt-right radio broadcaster had narcissistic personality disord-
er. . . . A city councilman in Overtornea, Sweden, introduced a bill to give
workers weekly sex breaks. . . . The Illinois House of Representatives de-
clared March "Zombie Preparedness Month.". . . A deputy sheriff inWash-
ington County, Georgia, had his ex-wife arrested for criminal defamation
over aClutterbookFacebook post. . . . A transgender wo(man?) sued the
state of Idaho for refusing to change the gender (sex?) listed on her (his?)
driver's license. . . . A Starbucks baristo in Colorado posted a video urging
customers not to order the new Unicorn Frappuccino, which contains no
coffee and leaves the makers with sticky hands, clothes and hair from
handling all the ingredients. . . . Jehovah's Witnesses were banned as extre-
mists in Russia.
[courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]
The University of Kentucky baseball team scored a
7-2-6 triple play against the University of Louisville,
that started with a fly ball to left field with runners
on first and third bases (not on second and third, as
most news sources reported). Such a triple play is
said to have occurred only once in Major League
Baseball.
gingerob.jpg Ginger Lorrine Zimmer, 24, black hair, brown [eyes], 110 lbs, 5'4", surety off blond, tamper/fabricarte evidence; Robert Wayne Nettles, 28, brown hair, blu[e eyes] 161 lbs, 6'3", forgery; Victoria Elena Robledo, 24, black hair / brown [eyes], blond revocation, possession of controlled substance; Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas), Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week
For 17 years I've been going to the same hairstylist, "Marietta,"Dear Snippet:
because she does great cuts and color. She's married to my
cousin, "Gil," but not for long; they're divorcing.
Gil's mother suggested that I should find a different stylist; and
I tried, but I had horrible results. I returned to Marietta, and it
took her several appointments to correct my hair.
Some of the family are furious with me, but I like what Marietta
does for me. We don't discuss family, or the divorce. Do I owe
my family, or even Gil's immediate family, an apology?
Snipped in California
"Your worst humiliation is only someone else's momentary entertainment" – Karen Crockettlifenobl.jpg Life Saver Dude: Dude! You look absolutely Noble accepting that prize! (Northwestern University professor Sir J. Fraser Stoddart received Nobel price in chemistry from King Car XVI Gustaf of Sweden Dec. 10, 2016)
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for a Better America Box 413 The Columbus Book of Euchre Brownsville KY 42210 War Stories: The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer 270-597-2187 Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher Natty Bumppo, writer/editor |
Lily Allen wrote (and sang):
Fuck you.
Resplendent news from Kentucky:Hoosier "craft beers" Leg Spreader ESB, Stacked Double
IPA, Sex and Candy IPA, and Naughty Girl Belgian Blonde
Ale figured in All About Beer magazine editor John Holl's
column asking brewers to clean it up.
[Indianapolis Star]
Another wild turkey slammed into the windshield of a motor
vehicle, this time in Danville, in central Indiana, winding up
in the rear hatch of the SUV (the driver survived with minor
injuries). . . .
The legislature passed a bill to outlaw the use of drones for
"peeping."
[courtesy Columbus Republic]
jomerand.jpg South Bend's most wanted (Michiana crime stoppers) Joseph Keltz,, 5'10", 150 lbs, aggravated ears; Meranda Sandefur, 5'2", 110 lbs, cocaine, theft (and, is that a pimple or a birth mark?); Brian Ross, 5'9", 165 lbs, intimidation; Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Jamar Laquel Harris Sr., BM, domestic violence; Jack Leeroy Burks, WM, sex offender, failure to reg.
Dumb news from Kentucky:
Springtime in Kentucky: Canola crop, Warren County
(Tabloid Headlines photos and postcards)
Eight women prisoners were hospitalized from snorting too
much heroin at the Boyle County Jail in Catlettsburg. . . .
A school bus and a pickup truck crashed at a busy intersec-
tion in Stanford, and police were still trying to figure out
who ran the red light. . . .
Earlywine, 18, and Buford, 20, were charged with spray-
painting vulgar messages and a swastika on 13 cars, a boat
and a trailer, "tagging" city streets and defacing an intersec-
tion. . . .earlhail.jpg Isaack Earlywine, Haileigh Buford, vandalism arrests, Fleming County, Flemingsburg (LEX18)
A truck flipped on a highway in Pulaski County spilling 32
cows (several of whom died). . . .
Daisy the Curious Calf climbed into a barn loft in Rockcas-
tle County and showed no inclination to come back down. . . .
The state agriculture department was bur ning 100 pounds of
hemp that contain more THC than the law allows (and the
hippies gathered round). . . .
Volunteers, including high schoolers, held a senior prom for
the residents of a nursing home in Bath County. . . .
A new curfew makes it unlawful for persons under 18 to be
out in Lexington after midnight. . . .
A state worker sued the state Transportation Cabinet for sex
discrimination, alleging that someone shit on the floor of her
office and pissed on her chair (when she arose from it her
pants were wet).
[courtesy LEX18]
kaylarmc.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Kayla Lee, (race unknown) F, 21, 5'6", 5'5", 120 lbs, looking for love in all the wrong places; Armand Napier, BM, 25, 5'9", 135 lbs, you tell us (he looks guilty); Ciearra Foster, BF, 23, 5'5", 128 lbs, "featured fugitive of the week," robbery (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)
Resolutions passed by both houses of the legislature the last day
of the session specified that all resolutions include "in the Year
of our Lord" in the adoption date.
[courtesy Herald-Leader]
"My recent flight to Fort Lauderdale was so turbulent, and death seemed so imminent, that womenQuotations of the weak:
and children were screaming, 'It's the end of time!' So I gave them my watch."
– Gary Logsdon
"You'll make America late again."
– Fred Dean
Quotations
of the Wheat (Simon says):"Two things you never hear a man say are, 'I have a low IQ' |
|
Borf 's weekly BONUS:
jonadyla.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Jonathan M. Reno, WM, 28, 6'0", 160 lbs, petty theft, drug paraphernalia; Wanted in Waco: Dylan Kendziorski, WM, 22, 5'7", 180 lbs, tampering with evidence (City of Wichita, Waco Crime Stoppers); kathkrys.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Kathleen Wood, WF, 35, 5'9", 140 lbs, injury to a child; Krystopher Bertholf, WM, 20, 6'0", 150 lbs, indecency with a child (Abilene Crime Stoppers)
A dead bat was found in a packaged tossed salad purchased at a Wal-Dear Eleanor:
Mart in Florida. . . . Teen dwarfs in Kansas and Connecticut attended
each other's prom. . . . The Israeli Labor Party postponed leadership
elections in Tel Aviv to avoid a conflict with a Britney Spears concert.
. . . President Trump proclaimed April "National Sexual Assault A-
wareness and Prevention Month." . . .The stock price of the Raytheon
Company, manufacturer of Tomahawk missiles, surged after U.S. air
strikes on Syria. . . . A 13-year-old boy in Forest Park, Georgia, acci-
dentally shot himself to death onInstantspamInstagram "Live" as his
friends watched. . . . An 8-year-old boy drove himself and his 4-year-
old sister to McDonald's in the family car in East Palestine, Ohio, and
ordered hamburgers in the drive-through. . . . Mozart's starling might
have preferred Bach. . . .The U.S. dropped a "MOAB" ("massive ord-
nance air blast" or "mother of all bombs") on Afghanistan. . . . A wild
turkey walked into a Wal-Mart in Waukesha,Wisconsin; and the greet-
er, 88, was fired for not walking it out. . . . The sculpture "Fearless
Girl" challenged the sculpture "Charging Bull" near Wall Street.
[courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]
damimary.jpg Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week, wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas): Damishia Walker, 26, black hair brown eyes, 145 lbs, 5'4", burglary of habitation with intent felony; Mary Isabel Castro, 31, red hair, brown eyes, 185 lbs, 5'3", bond revocation, manufacture/delivery of controlled substance in drug free zone; gerwayne.jpg Gerald Wayne Palmer, 65, grey hair, brown eyes, 188 lbs, 6'0", fail to comply with registration requirements
I have no idea who I am.Dear Hu Yu:
What I mean is that my father's parents are a mystery.
My sister and I were told that our grandmother died
giving birth to him. We never knew her name. We
have sent money to the Pennsylvania Division of Vi-
tal Records, and no record of my father's birth exists
there. We have sent money several times to the Ro-
man Catholic Diocese of Pittsburgh for baptism, first
communion and confirmation information, but have
found none.
My sister thinks the Church may be hiding something.
We were told our father's sister was a nun; so perhaps
she is his real mother. Or perhaps he was adopted. We
have tried ancestry websites to no avail. We are now
beginning to wonder whether our last name is even ac-
curate! There are television shows that help celebri-
ties discover where they came from; but not being cel-
ebrities, where can we turn?
Who Am I?
.
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Ideas
for a Better America Box 413 The Columbus Book of Euchre Brownsville KY 42210 War Stories: The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer 270-597-2187 Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher Natty Bumppo, writer/editor |
Len wrote Mon 4/3/17 @05:47 EDT:
There is a woman named Sean: Sean Young,
actress, b. 1959.
Jane Etta Darrig wrote Sun 4/2/17 @12:10 CDT:
OK, so why is it "northern [small n] and SouthernIf you have ever roamed Southern Indiana, you understand
[capital S] Indiana"?
that it is a culture unto itself, perhaps even a separate na-
tion – like the Independent Republic of Sunfish, Kentucky.
You ever been to Arkansas? – Editor
FGDean@aol.com wrote Sun 4/2/17 @15:17 PDT re Richard
Sher man's 29th birthday reported last week:
I Googled him and found many sites about the Seattle
Seahawks football player; but the Richard Sherman I
know, and worked with briefly at the Variety Arts
Center in Los Angeles in the 1980's, is a legendary
song writer known for the movie Mary Poppins, the
Disney song "It's a Small World" and some Annette
Funicello hits, including "Tall Paul," all written with
his late brother, Robert.
chemkat58 wrote Sun 4/2/17 @15:31 CDT:
Let the monkeys loose.
Buzz words that need a
nap: " . . . going forward." – FGDean
Both houses of the state legislature passed bills cutting re-
bates for solar energy (which accounts for all of 1 per cent
of power generation in the state).
[courtesy Columbus Republic]
Bloomington was advertising its scenic wonders on web
sites.
[https://www.visitbloomington.com]
luiscorv.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Luis Escorza, HM, 5'8", 130 lbs, burglary (not buggery); Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Corvell Latral Hardnett, BM, fleeing police in a motor vehicle; Hope Monique Jones, BF, assault by strangularion; Quincy Cortez-Delyaunce Johnson, BM, poss. of stolen credit card (Michiana Crime Stoppers)
Freedom of speech did not justify Donald Trump's "Get 'em
out of here!" remark about protesters who were roughed up
at a recent rally in Louisville, a federal judge ruled in refu-
sing to dismiss the protesters' suit against the President. . . .
Johnny Boone, known as the Godfather of Grass and convic-
ted in the 1980's as don of the Cornbread Mafia, with 29 ma-
rijuana farms in nine states, was deported from Canada and
arraigned in Vermont pending return to Kentucky. . . .
Solar panels were being installed on the Kentucky Coal Mu-
seum in Benham to cut energy costs. . . .
A video of teen-agers dressed as animals engaging in sex
(e.g., chicken on a cow) was shown to grade school pupils
in Fleming County (the particular video was not identified
in news reports, but here are some).
[courtesy LEX18]
Louisville police were gearing up to battle the latest drug
craze, elephant tranquilizer, which has already killed one u-
ser in the city.
[courtesy Courier-Journal]
The Bowling Green City Commission moved the public com-
ments segment of its meetings from the beginning to the end.
[courtesy Park City (Bowling Green) Daily News]
A project for ten barn dances in the Louisville area for arm-
ed forces veterans with post traumatic stress disorder got a
$10,000 grant from the Veterans Trust Fund.
[courtesy WKYU-FM]
saidmarl.jpg Lexington's most wanted: William Said, WM, 27, 6'4", 175 lbs, B gangster movie star wannabe; Katie Ann Griffin, WF, 27, 5'5", 140 lbs, leading candidate for the role of moll in B movie starring William or Marlon (f/k/a "KatieAnn" Griffin); Marlon Faulkner, BM, 29, 5'6", 145 lbs, B gangster movie star wannabe; "Harold" Beard, said to be BM, 28, 5'9", 165 lbs, "gender" confustion? (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)
Quotations
of the Wheat (Simon says):"Two things I hate to hear are a grown man whine and a fat |
|
Borf 's weekly BONUS:erinpaul.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Erin Densmore, WF, 38, a/k/a Erin Shaw, 5'9", 1140 lbs, failure to report to jail; Paul Motley, WM, 30, a/k/a Paul Montley, 5'7", 170 lbs, upside down ears (City of Wichita)
A 20-year-old co-ed choked to death in a pancake eating contest atDear Eleanor:
Sacred Heart University in Fairfield, Connecticut. . . . A woman in
Sanford, Florida, whom police told to stop calling 911 was shot to
death by her boy friend, who shot her 8-year-old son to death also
and shot and wounded her her 7-year-old son, her father, and two
bystanders. . . . Barry Manilow came out. . . . A California woman
charged with murder posted $35 million bail. . . . A naked girl, a-
bout 10 years old and unable to speak or understand any language,
was found living with monkeys in a remote forest in India (she is
known as "Girl Mowgli" to local news outlets). . . . A protester
handed the mayor of Portland, Oregon, a Pepsi (here's the Kendall
Jenner commercial that got everyone so upset). . . . A mattress that
flew off a truck in a tunnel in Brisbane, Australia, hit a motorbike
rider but cushioned his stop (there's video). . . . A man wearing a
"DRUNK LIVES MATTER" T-shirt was arrested for DUI in New-
ville, Pennsylvania. . . . Britney Spears posted a video of herself
on Instagram wearing a bikini top in a gymnasium workout. . . . A
31-year-old engineer in Hangzhou, China, married a female robot
he built. . . . A grandmother was hit in the face by a chimpanzee
who flung poo at a zoo in Grand Rapids, Michigan (there's video).
. . . Police in Italy and Sardinia arrested 34 persons for a plot to dig
up Enzo Ferrari's corpse and hold it for ransom. . . . Ivanka admit-
ted being complicit.
[courtesy Huffington Post, NBC.com, AP]
devontep.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Kansas): Devonte Deon Ivory, 21, black hair, brown eyes, 158 lbs, 6'0", violation of probation, burglary of habitation; Patricia Uribez Romero, 49, brown hair, brown eyes, 152 lbs, 4'11", criminal mischief; Christie Leigh Villa, 27, brown hair, brown eyes, 169 lbs, 5'0", violation of probation, abandon/endanger a child w/intent to return (Texoma Crime Stoppers)
The sports fan club Big Blue Nation proposed making "Kentucky great again"
by building a wall around Louisville. . . .
The box score said 36,534 people attended the White Sox' opening day base-
ball game against the Detroit Tigers Tuesday at Guaranteed Rate Field in Chi-
cago; but if you tuned in in the 8th inning, when the Tigers led 6-2, you saw
barely a fan in the stands (the high temperature was 48°; the Tigers won the 3-
½-hour game 6-3). The scheduled opener was rained out Monday (wonder
how many of those 36,534 were season ticket holders who declined to brave
the weather?). [photo by Jonathan Daniel, Getty Images, in Detroit News] . . .
It was only 47° at Target Field in Minneapolis the next day, and the box score
for the Twins' game against the Royals (won by the Twins, 9-1) reported a
more credible attendance, 15,171 (it was the second day of the season there
– the attendance on opening day, Monday, was reported to be 39,615, in 50°
weather).
lifehump.jpg Life Saver Dude: Duudes! That's gross! Time to make Easter eggs
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Borf
Books borf@borfents.com
Ideas
for a Better America Box 413 The Columbus Book of Euchre Brownsville KY 42210 War Stories: The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer 270-597-2187 Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher Natty Bumppo, writer/editor |
Bruce Mitchell wrote Sun 3/26/17 @12:11 PDT:
I know no woman named Sean, but there are many wo-
men named Siân, including Siân Phillips, the Welsh ac-
tress who played Livia, the wife of Augustus, in the 19-
76 BBC production of I, Claudius.
Publius Leget wrote Sun 32/26/17 @12:10 CDT:
What kind of name is Marceish Tramell-Dayah Meridy?Marceish, Tramell and Dayah are common made-up given
names in the boy's culture, like Keshawn and Javonte. The
surname, Meridy, is Hoosier for Meredith. In Indiana it's
spelled the way Kentuckians pronounce it. – Editor
Wild turkeys were crashing into moving automobiles' wind-
shields in both northern and Southern Indiana. . . .
The Delaware County Courthouse in Muncie added a 21-
month-old female black Labrador dog, Frankie, to its
Court Appointed Special Advocates staff. . . .
Southern Indiana's black bear appeared to be on the move
again after a long winter's nap.
[Columbus Republic]
betwhite.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Bethany White, WF, 5'1", 150 lbs, battery; Nayesha White, BF, 5'2", 140 lbs, battery; Rodney Heard, BM, 5'9", 200 lbs, battery; Berrien County, Michigan's: Freddell Johnson, BM, criminal sex (Michiana Crime Stoppers)
Dead pets' former owners were asked to dig up their pets at a
pet cemetery in Bullitt County because the cemetarian can no
longer maintain the cemetery. . . .
Governor Selfie vetoed a bill passed by his own party in the
legislature, the Repudicans, to name several sections of road
"Copperhead Trail," intended to lure motorcyclists, saying it
violated state highway department policy to name roads only
for historically significant events or persons (like, the Hal
Boone Parkway?). And he vetoed a bill to prohibit drone fly-
ing in certain areas. But both houses of the legislature easily
overrode all vetoes.
[courtesy Lex18]
hayleyha.jpg Here's a typical local TV news anchor hen. This one is Hayley Harmon, of WLEX Channel 18 ("LEX18") in Lexington, Kentucky. Like most of them, she talks through her nose . . . .
Central Kentucky's "Bonnie and Clyde" – Destiny Moneyhun,
18, from Smiths Grove, and Bradley Sheets, 25, from Glas-
gow – were gunned down by police in a field in Anchorage, a
Louisville suburb, after stealing two motor vehicles and kill-
ing a man. Police fire did not kill them, but Bradley plugged
Destiny to death with his revolver and then shot himself to
death.
[courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]
amandama.jpg Lexington's most wanted (pulled kicking & screaming from the Herald-Leader): Amanda Fazakerly, WF, 33, 5'4", 170 lbs, fake love; Antonio Adams, BM, 41, black Nazi; Jennifer Martin, WF, 25, 5'5", 130 lbs, wastrel; Jess Lilly, WM, 34, 5'10:, 230 lbs, "featured fugitive of the week," stalking, persistent felony offender; Nikki Howard, WF, 29, 5'3", 110 lbs, in need of a meal; Nicholas Griffeth, WM, 24, 5'9", 170 lbs, misspelled surname (perhaps kin to the Merideths (alt Meridys]); Amanda Thomas, WF, 34, 5'9", 250 lbs, general transgenderismA man was restoring a 1950 camper in Alvaton in memory of his latedestinye.jpg Runaway Destiny Ennis, 15, was found in Metcalfe County, WBKO 13
daughter.
[courtesy Park City (Bowling Green) Daily News]
Quotations
of the Wheat (Simon says):"Two things I hate to hear are a grown man whine and |
|
(There'll be more on this theme next week – Editor.)
|
Bonnie Cook Goff, 50 Connie Goff, 50 |
|
same person, in same newspaper, on same day: typo |
Borf 's weekly BONUS:
Editor's note: Yes, Sarah Franchier does appear to be the same person
as the "Sarah Fanchier" listed and pictured last week.
The photographs are different but similar, and the ID
stats and the charges are the same. Misspelled last week
or this week – or both?vakeisah.jpg Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week; wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas): Sarah Franchier, 29, brown hair, green eyes, 125 lbs, 5'5", surety off bond, unlawful possession of firearm; Vakeisah Nicole Johnson, 45, black hair, brown eyes, 130 lbs, 5'6", abandoning/endangering a child; Robert Collins, 46, black hair, brown eyes, 175 lbs, 6'0", trafficking of person; Michelle Alisa Garcia, 33, black hair, brown eyes, 130 lbs, 5'2", bond revocation, possession of controlled substance (Wichita Falls Crime Stoppers)
Pre-recorded TV commercials thanking Republicans for repealing
"Obamacare" aired Friday night hours after the Republicans had
abandoned their bill in the House of Representatives (Dept. of
"Fake News"). . . . A dermatologist in Barrie, Ontario, Canada,
was found to have rubbed his aroused penis against the legs of two
female patients despite his plea that his paunch made him unable
to do that. . . . A sixth-grader in Racine, Wisconsin, who said she
had permission from her teacher to sell Water Snake Wigglies at a
religious fund-raiser, was suspended by the school principal for
selling dildos. . . . Polk County, Florida, sheriff's deputies arrested
104 persons for prostitution. . . . Human rights were granted to riv-
ers in India and New Zealand. . . .Ten TV reality show contestants
emerged from the wilderness in Scotland only to learn that their
show was canceled last August. . . . A Czech zoo began dehorning
all 21 of its rhinos to deter a poacher attack like the one that occur-
red at a zoo in Paris. . . . A 23-foot python swallowed a man whole
in Indonesia (the man did not survive – nor did the python,who was
cut open to find the man).
[courtesy Harper's, AP]
The National Football League approved the Oakland Roamers' plan to move
to Las Vegas. . . .
Ignoring their team's poor offense, University of Kentucky basketball fans
blamed a referee for their loss to North Carolina in the Nigger Collegiate
Athletic Association tournament and were pelting a business he owns in O-
maha with harassing telephone calls and itsClutterbookFacebook page with
withering reviews. . . .
Contrary to what may have been your
perception on TV yesterday, Gonzaga
University's center, Przemek Karnow-
ski (say "PZHEM-eck car-NOOF-ski"
if you want to pronounce it properly in
Polish – that "ZH" is the same sound
as the second g in "garage"), 7' 1", 300
lbs., is not the biggest boy ever to play
basketball. Yao Ming, from China, was
7' 10" and 310 lbs. And Shaquille O'-
Neal, although the same height as Kar-
nowski, weighed 315 lbs., even more
than Yao Ming. But Przemek may be
the biggest white boy ever to play bas-
ketball (Isaak Humphries, another Po-
lak, from Australia, who plays for the
University of Kentucky, is only 7' 0",
255 lbs.; and Dennis Awtrey was only
6' 10", 235 lbs.).
I am deeply disturbed to have learned after having been mar-Dear Betty:
ried to "John" for four years that he never divorced his last
wife. He insists they are legally divorced because she aban-
doned him 10 years ago.
I feel betrayed, used, and abused, and I don’t know what to
do. We've built a home and combined our finances. I can't
pay bills without him. If I leave, I lose everything I have es-
tablished. What do I do?
Betrayed in the South
Unopened e-mail last week included an "Auto-reply" from "lesliesholl@bigpond.com"lifepitts.jpg Life Saver Dude: Well, OK, I'll spend my day off in the pits with you! Day Off is a TV show of GMA Channel 11
| Previous
issue Next issue Archives index |
Borf
Books borf@borfents.com
Ideas
for a Better America Box 413 The Columbus Book of Euchre Brownsville KY 42210 War Stories: The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer 270-597-2187 Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher Natty Bumppo, writer/editor |
![teddyjen.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Teddy Hendren, 24, WM, 6'1", got arrested to be with these girls, then found out jail was segregated; Jennifer Owens, WF, 28, 5'3", 120 lbs, our little girl is growing up; Mary Smith, WF, 29, 5'6", 104 lbs, hot Jumanji monkey sex; [Ciearra Foster] you met her last week (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)](teddyjen.jpg)
![gingerob.jpg Ginger Lorrine Zimmer, 24, black hair, brown [eyes], 110 lbs, 5'4", surety off blond, tamper/fabricarte evidence; Robert Wayne Nettles, 28, brown hair, blu[e eyes] 161 lbs, 6'3", forgery; Victoria Elena Robledo, 24, black hair / brown [eyes], blond revocation, possession of controlled substance; Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas), Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week](gingerob.jpg)
![amandama.jpg Lexington's most wanted (pulled kicking & screaming from the Herald-Leader): Amanda Fazakerly, WF, 33, 5'4", 170 lbs, fake love; Antonio Adams, BM, 41, black Nazi; Jennifer Martin, WF, 25, 5'5", 130 lbs, wastrel; Jess Lilly, WM, 34, 5'10:, 230 lbs, "featured fugitive of the week," stalking, persistent felony offender; Nikki Howard, WF, 29, 5'3", 110 lbs, in need of a meal; Nicholas Griffeth, WM, 24, 5'9", 170 lbs, misspelled surname (perhaps kin to the Merideths (alt Meridys]); Amanda Thomas, WF, 34, 5'9", 250 lbs, general transgenderism](amandama.jpg)
