The Worst Case of Foot Odor in the World
More than a thousand Achæan ships sailed from Aulis to take Troy. Unfortunately the Achæans were in much the same predicament as Paris' expedition [see Chapter Five] in that none of them knew the exact location of the city of Priam. They knew enough to sail towards the northeast, though, so that's what they did.
The first place that the Achæans made landfall was the Tenedos. This island was known in earlier times as Leukophrys and had only recently been renamed by a man named Tenes in honor of himself. Tenes was the son of Prokleia, one of Laomedon's daughters. Her husband was king Kyknos of Colonæ, but Tenes' father was actually the god Apollo. After Prokleia's death Kyknos married a woman named Philonome who decided that the handsome Tenes would make a better lover than her new husband. Tenes did not share her passion and rebuffed her in no uncertain terms. To salvage her pride after being scorned by her stepson, she went to her husband and claimed Tenes had tried to rape her. She even convinced a flute player named Eumolpos to confirm her story. Kyknos was outraged when he heard this. Both Tenes and his sister Hemithea protested to their father that Tenes was innocent and Philonome was just bitter, but Kyknos refused to be convinced. Kyknos suspected his "son's" divine heritage, however, and was afraid to punish him directly. Therefore he had both Tenes and Hemithea sealed in a chest and cast into the sea. Fortunately the siblings did not drown, but washed up on the island of Leukophrys, which Tenes renamed after himself.
Kyknos eventually discovered his wife's deception and as punishment had her buried alive. Eumolpos he had stoned to death and, having heard that his son and daughter were alive on Leukophrys, which was now called Tenedos, he set sail to bring them home. While making the landing at Tenedos, however, Kyknos and his crew were repelled by Tenes, who still carried a grudge. Tenes cut the mooring line of Kyknos' ship with an axe and then hurled rocks and verbal abuse at the crew. Realizing that now was probably not the best time for a reunion Kyknos left, hoping that his son's anger would cool down in a bit.
It was sometime after this that the Achæan armada landed at Tenedos seeking to replenish its provisions. It was here that Achilleus was fated to bring his doom upon himself, although it wouldn't catch up to him for many years. It had been prophecized that if Achilleus killed Tenes, he would die himself as a result. Thetis had spent a good deal of time tracking down all the oracles concerning the destiny of her mortal son so she was well aware of this approaching cusp of fate. She warned Achilleus in no uncertain terms not to kill Tenes, and as an extra precaution she gave specific orders to one of her son's servants to remind Achilleus of the prophecy at the appropriate time. After all, Achilleus sometimes got carried away when he started killing people.
While the Achæan foot soldiers busied themselves restocking the fleet's supply of water, some of the kings explored this apparently vacant island. During the course of his explorations, Achilleus and his entourage discovered a crude shelter and the young and winsome Hemithea. He was a bit surprised that she spoke the Argive tongue, and was soon fascinated by this young woman of the wilds. For her part Hemithea thought Achilleus was the most attractive man she had seen in a long while. Of course, since she had been trapped on a deserted island with only her brother for a number of years this would have been unavoidably true even if Achilleus hadn't been so dashing. Since her abandonment on Tenedos Hemithea had changed from a girl to a woman, so she was also feeling a number of new and exciting urges. After conversing with the stranger for a while she invited Achilleus inside her hut to get out of the harsh sun. Achilleus was only too happy to oblige her request. He was also pleased to oblige a series of other requests Hemithea made once they were inside. In fact, Achilleus was still obliging her when her brother Tenes returned.
Tenes had observed a great number of armed men landing on the island and had come to warn his sister to stay out of sight until they left. When he discovered one of those same warriors already in his house and taking advantage of his sister he reacted in a blind rage. Yelling at the top of his lungs, Tenes dragged Achilleus off of Hemithea and started kicking and pummeling him. Surprised by this sudden attack, Achilleus defended himself, striking Tenes a mighty blow to the head. There was a dull crack and Tenes crumpled in a bloody heap with his face broken open. Hemithea started screaming and calling out to her brother by name, which was when Achilleus realized what he had unwittingly done. Seizing his sword, Achilleus ran to catch up with his entourage, which had wandered off after their leader had accepted Hemithea's invitation to come inside. As soon as he caught up with them he slaughtered the servant whose job was to warn him not to kill Tenes. Although still distressed, this act of carnage allowed Achilleus to feel better and mentally shift the blame for his actions to the dead servant. Realizing that his chances of resuming his activities with Hemithea were slim at best now that he had killed her brother, Achilleus returned to Achæan beachhead.
The son of Thetis was not the only Achæan leader to meet with disaster on Tenedos. In order to propitiate Apollo for the death of his son Tenes, the Achæans held a sacrificial feast in his honor. Apparently Apollo wasn't in the mood to be bribed because when Philoktetes, the son of Poeas, stood near the altar a water snake darted out and bit him on the foot. The bite was incredibly painful and soon became swollen with pus. None of the healers who had accompanied the fleet were able to cure the bite so Philoktetes had to be carried back to his ship.
At sea the infection became even worse. It festered with a stench that nearly incapacitated anyone on the same ship with him and Philoktetes' cries of pain carried throughout the fleet. This constant reminder of the pain and suffering that is the lot of mortal men was not encouraging to the morale of a group of warriors on their way to battle, and the rancid odor of the open wound was becoming worse all the time. Nerves were beginning to fray. Finally the leaders of the expedition decided that something had to be done about the "Philoktetes problem". Since this would most likely involve some sort of devious, underhanded, dirty trick the task naturally fell to Odysseus.
Odysseus boarded the Meliboean flagship under the pretense of visiting their stricken leader and offering him sympathy. Since Philoktetes had been shunned even by his own men ever since Tenedos he was glad of the company. Odysseus even brought an amphora full of strong wine, unmixed with water, to help Philoktetes ease his pain. Philoktetes thought this was the most considerate thing anyone had ever done for him and insisted that Odysseus join him for a drink. Odysseus declined saying, in the kindest way possible, that the smell from Philoktetes' foot made it unwise for him to eat or drink anything. Nevertheless, Odysseus did offer to stay with Philoktetes and keep him company for a while.
Odysseus and Philoktetes talked for many hours, and Odysseus was kind enough to refill Philoktetes' cup whenever it was empty. By nightfall Philoktetes was so drunk nothing could wake him, not even the pain in his foot. When he was certain that nothing would wake his injured host, Odysseus slung Philoktetes over his back, loaded him in a small boat, and set off for the island of Lemnos, which was uninhabited at the time.
The next morning Philoktetes woke with a splitting headache. Then he realized that a hangover was the least of his problems. He didn't remember how he got on the beach, but he realized that his "friend" Odysseus must have had something to do with it. Screaming against the injustice of his abandonment, Philoktetes vowed vengeance upon the clever king of Ithaka.
On the bright side, Odysseus had left Philoktetes' prize possession to share his exile with him. This was the bow and quiver of arrows that had belonged to the hero Herakles. When he lay dying with poison coursing through his veins Herakles begged his family, his friends, and finally anyone who happened by, to light his pyre and put him out of his misery. The person who finally obliged him was his friend Philoktetes, and as a reward for his final act of kindness Herakles gave Philoktetes his bow and arrows. This bow was so finely crafted that it almost never missed, and the arrows had been dipped in the blood of the Hydra so that the wounds inflicted would be beyond mortal healing and always fatal. With the bow, Philoktetes would be able to keep himself fed indefinitely.
Among the Achæans no one other than Odysseus and Agamemnon really knew what had happened to Philoktetes, but most of them were just glad to be rid of the gruesome burden. The command of Philoktetes' ships was assumed by Medon, Oïleus' son. Thus with the grim reminder of their own mortality left behind, the Argive fleet sailed onward to their confrontation with the Trojans.