1. My father came back on a flight from a business trip with a safe landing. The airline slowed down to a stop after exiting the runway and paused without motion. Two minutes later, the airline pivoted 90 degrees clockwise and stopped. After another 2 minute pause, the airline again pivoted, but to the left about 180 degrees. Again, the airline stopped and stood motionless. Two minutes later, the captains voice boomed from the loudspeaker, "Can anyone out there tell me where Gate 11 is?"
After a long delay at the snow bound Cincinnati Airport, we were finally pulling out (backing up to start taxiing). The air hostesses were doing their pre-flight routine, & apologizing for the delay, when the captain's voice boomed: "All you air hostesses in the aisles: how many times have I told you not to stand in the aisles & block my view when I am backing up !!"
2. My brother, his daughters and I traveled to Europe one summer. One of our stays during the trip was in Germany. One night we had been out driving the streets looking for a restaurant. Appropriately we got lost. We then began to search for someone to ask directions from and came across a German Police Officer. As we approached him, I rolled down the window and asked, "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" He replied, "Of course I do you idiot! I'm German!" Needless to say I was quite embarrassed, but we did get directions.
3. A saleswoman from a major condom company was required to travel cross-country to meet a perspective buyer. Her boss asked her to take about 100 condoms of various types with her. As she was running late for her flight, she simply stuffed them all into her briefcase. The cab ride to the airport was delayed by traffic and she had just enough time to throw her ticket at the counter and run onto the plane. As she jumped into the airplane, she dropped her briefcase and all the condoms flew out all over the floor in front of all the passengers and crew. They all stared amazed at the display and then looked to the woman who said sheepishly, "I'm meeting a new client."
(For those outside North America, Motel 6 is the cheapest hotel chain on our continent - which, as you can imagine attracts a certain type of clientele besides normal discount travelers.
13. Because you deserve better than the back seat of some car.
12. With Monica as the spokeswoman:
"Because some stains you want to keep"
11. If We'd Known You Were Staying All Night, We'd Have Changed the Sheets
10. You rented the room, now buy the video.
9. Sure, you could stay someplace nicer, but then you
wouldn't have money left over for a hooker.
8. We'll leave the Lysol for ya!
7. Hey, we're not the Ritz, but just try bringing
your secretary there on *your* salary, pal!
6. As seen on "COPS"
5. Not just for nooners anymore.
4. We left off the 9, but you know it's there.
3. Blurring the line between stains and avant garde
sheet art since 1962!
2. Clinton comes here... Why shouldn't you.
1. We put the "Ho" in "Hotel"
When I traveled to a distant city, I stopped in at a nice restaurant and immediately hung up my coat and hat. In plain view was a sign that said, "Watch Your Hat and Coat". I then went in and sat down at a table. While, naturally looking around, I glanced up at the ceiling only to read a sign that said, "Uh! Uh! You're NOT watching your hat and coat!
2. I am in the Navy, and we travel by ship to several different places all over the world. After Australia, we were on our way to Hawaii. In the smoking area, a Marine spoke up and asked if anyone knew the exchange rate in Hawaii. He didn't get it when we told him it was dollar for dollar.
3. On a recent trip from Boston to Los Angeles, the flight was delayed one hour taking off. There was lots of grumbling on the plane. And as the plane taxied to the run way the pilot came on the intercom and explained the delay as follows. "Good afternoon, this is your pilot, thank you for your patience. We are sorry for the delay today but the machine that rips the handles off your luggage broke down and in an effort to provide the quality service you have grown to expect we have had to manually rip the baggage handles off, which took us longer."
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