"Let's talk about fear.
 "The house is empty as I write this; a cold February rain is falling outside.
 It's night. Sometimes when the wind blows the way it's blowing now, we
 lose the power. But for now it's on, and so let's talk very honestly about
 fear. Let's talk very rationally about moving to the rim of madness . . .
 and perhaps over the edge."
 --Stephen King in the foreword to Night Shift
 
 Fear. It can thrill you or kill you. We humans have had a love-hate
 relationship with the emotion for the longest time. Tell me I'm wrong.
 Tell me you don't love the chill that runs up and down you spine. The
 high paced beating of your heart. The racing of your mind.
 But there's another side to it too. A side that can outweigh the pleasant
 chills and the adrenalin highs. That's the side which brings out the
 clammy hands. The need to turn on the lights when you enter a room.
 The paranoia and the phobic reactions. It's really a simple thing.
 Fear scares us.
 
 

Here are a few of my favorite horrific links:

 Rating Scale:
 5 blood purity: Among the greatest horror movies of all time.
 4 blood purity: Pretty good. Only a few problems. A good watch.
 3 blood purity: Still ok. Not for everybody, but a true fan of horror should get a good chill or two.
 2 blood purity: Fair, but you might want to skip it if you've got choices.
 1 blood purity: Poor, but still watchable to the few die-hard horror addicts out there.
 0 blood purity: Bloody awful, probably literally. A load of pure pseudo-horror crap. Gaje all the way.
 
 This time: Dannis reviews Jack Frost
 
 D: Michael Cooney. Chris Allport, Stephen Mendel, F. William Parker, Eileen Seeley, Rob LaBelle, Zack Eginton, Scott
 MacDonald. 1996. A-Pix Entertainment. Rated R.
 As the song says, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Here at the Ken home, we've already hung up our wreathes and
 stockings in preparation for Santa's visit. Freddy and Taryn wouldn't have it any other way. If Susan and I tried to delay the
 decorating process, they'd be unmanageable for weeks. And believe me when I say that Freddy and Taryn, when
 unmanageable, are about as easy to get along with as Jason on a bad hair day.
 Jack Frost is also a pretty difficult guy to get along with, as the people of Snomonton would readily tell you. Jack Frost was
 just your average, run-of-the-mill serial killer (or so say the various characters in the film...I suspect he's actually a spree
 killer, myself) until the prison vehicle taking him to his execution crashed into a truck carrying a load of toxic chemicals. Jack
 escapes, but gets splashed with the chemicals. The result: Jack is turned into a walking, killing snowman. 
 But wait. It gets better. Jack has a real hate on for the sheriff of Snomonton, and so he heads straight for the town. During
 the next hour or so of the movie, Jack methodically eliminates over half of the known townspeople, and we discover that the
 chemicals that splashed Jack bound his DNA to the snow. And he can control his own physical state: he can be ice, snow or
 just plain cold water.
 Finally, after Jack offs the two guys who came to town posing as FBI agents, one of the sheriff's son's cooking experiments
 gives him the clue he needs to stop Jack. When a baggie of rather hideous-looking oatmeal burns the rampaging snowman,
 Sheriff Sam asks the boy what he put in the oats. The kid's response: he didn't want his dad to get cold, so he put in some
 antifreeze.
 The movie is repetitive, and, in some places, disgusting and disturbing. The old joke "What's the difference between a
 snowman and a snowwoman?" is used more times than I can count (if you don't know the answer, e-mail me and I'll send it.
 It's too bad a joke to give the punchline here), and the foreshadowing is blatantly obvious. There is also a scene in which
 Jack rapes a young woman, so for those who would be upset by this sort of thing, please don't say I didn't warn you. I
 found that scene in particularly bad taste.
 Body Count: 12. In a blinding flash of reason, I'm not going to tell you who and when. I realized that information can really
 spoil the movie.
 Survivors who actually saw the monster: If I'm not going to tell you who dies, it would make to tell you who lives either,
 right? Next review, this category will be gone.
 Classic Quote: Tommy: What are you?
 Jack: The world's most pissed off snow cone!
 Overall Rating: 2 blood purity. It's a good concept and fairly well executed, but some scenes are just plain wrong.
 
 That's Jack Frost. Until next time, this is Dannis Ken saying, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire."
 
 Join us next time when Dannis reviews some other horror film.
 

 In the past, I've reviewed the following films:
 
 Basket Case 2					Mikey
 The Blob					A Nightmare on Elm Street
 Carnosaur					A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge
 Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare		A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
 The Frighteners					A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
 Halloween					A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child
 Jack Frost					Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings
 Junior						Slumber Party Massacre II
 Man's Best Friend				Texas Chainsaw Massacre
 Maximum Overdrive				Wes Craven's New Nightmare
 
 To see these reviews, just click here

 This page is under construction.  Not all of the above links work yet.  Please bear with me

 

 Want to know my opinion on Killer Klowns from Outer Space or Slumber Party Massacre? Has some question about horror
 movies been gnawing at you? Just want to stump the master? Send any questions, review requests or comments to
 DannisKen@hotmail.com. Please be sure to include "Ask Dannis" in the subject line.
 
 
 Ask Dannis!
 
 
 
 Dannis replies:
 
 
 
 
 Dannis Ken is, in reality, Jeremy Bohrer.  This page was created on May 11th, 1998.  The opinions expressed on this page are those of the author.