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Click below for more stories about "Ted Danson":
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October 26,
1990 Features CHEERS! SAM TED DANSON
Sam Malone would have loved having women in the locker room. Or, Lord
knows, he would have tried. Had a woman sportswriter ventured into his
Boston locker room during Mayday Malone's Red Sox days, Sammy would have
behaved himself- but, if you will pardon the imagery, just barely. He
would have worn his towel. He would have draped it like wet wash on a
clothesline. And then he would have promised the sportswriter the most
personal interview of her life, one that would take the curl right out of
her spiral notebook.
Sam can't help himself. He's a sexaholic.
Over the course of a 200-show Cheers career,
ballplayer-turned-bartender Sam Malone, the pitcher who can't stop
pouring, has extended his consecutive hitting-on streak. He has batted
close to 1.000, too. He's been passed around the bar like a bowl of Beer
Nuts. He's been horizontal with Diane Chambers and Rebecca Howe, both of
whom were smarter than Sam but dizzier than Dean. True, he has not been
with Carla Tortelli or Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane, but only because he
selflessly warded off their advances. No third-base coach, not even Ernie
Pantusso, ever asked Sammy to make such a sacrifice. Still, women think of
him as charmingly harmless.
How does Sam Malone get away with it, even after all these years? Maybe
it's the hair. (Hard to imagine a Red Sox cap fitting over that haystack.)
Or maybe it's the fame.
Or maybe it's just Ted Danson, an actor who makes Sam Malone affable
and - laughable. When a pregnant Carla dreads the idea of having twins,
Sam reminds her that the greatest night of his life was the night he had
twins. Leave it to Sam to come up with a quadruple entendre. What gets
Danson a slapstick laugh would get others just plain slapped. Somehow it
isn't vulgar coming from him. It isn't a dirty Danson; it's merely a
naughty one.
And a nutty one. Of all the players a sportswriter is likely to come
across, Sam Malone remains the most valuable. He belongs in somebody's
Hall of Fame. Here's what should be engraved on his plaque at Cooperstown:
Sam Malone, 200 Shows, 200 Saves. Now there's a great pitcher for you-one
who can deliver a hit.
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