May 3, 1998

  (FREE PRESS ILLUSTRATIONS BY RICK NEASE)

1. "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" (CBS, 1970-77). Float like a bonkers butterfly, sting like a witty bee. With Mary Richards as the signature single career woman of the 1970s, this memorably well-written series launched an age of smart, sophisticated TV comedy.

2. "The Honeymooners" (CBS, 1955-56). The definitive blue-collar comedy masterpiece, which grew out of Jackie Gleason's one-hour variety series. As bombastic Ralph Kramden and dizzy Ed Norton, Gleason and Art Carney are still the funniest friends in TV history.

3. "Cheers" (NBC, 1982-1993). This freewheeling saloonatic asylum offered classic ensemble amusement for more than a decade, with Ted Danson's skirt-chasing bartender Sam Malone as team leader of the tavern's tart repartee brigade. Norrrrrm!

4. "The Simpsons" (Fox, 1989-?). A landmark social satire and the most rambunctiously imaginative animated series ever. Matt Groening's hilariously irreverent vision of modern family life and American pop culture has been a cartoon classic from day one. Doh!

5. "Seinfeld" (NBC, 1990-1998). Pez dispensers, puffy shirts, Snapple, low talkers, Junior Mints, Mulva and more, this cockeyed '90s romp about a quartet of neurotic, self-absorbed New Yorkers is the master of its blissfully eccentric chucklehead domain.

6. "The Bob Newhart Show" (CBS, 1972-78). As deadpan Chicago psychologist Bob Hartley, Newhart was a wry portrait in contemporary exasperation. He and wife Emily, played to affectionately sardonic perfection by Suzanne Pleshette, became TV's most believable married couple.

7. "Taxi" (ABC/NBC, 1978-1983). Wacky, yet wise, this offbeat workplace farce was the inspired brainchild of filmmaker James L. Brooks and three of his producing pals from "The Mary Tyler Moore Show." Smart, silly, sublime. No wonder the reruns are still so consistently funny.

8. "M*A*S*H" (CBS, 1972-1983). Perhaps the most beloved sitcom of all time, these fractured tales of Army medicos during the Korean War offered irreverent Vietnam-era subtext. As rebellious, smart-aleck Hawkeye Pierce, Alan Alda quarterbacked the wacky pack with rare sitcomic elan.

9. "Frasier" (NBC, 1993-?). The only spin-off to ever really challenge its laugh track parent for high-quality comedy honors. Created by "Cheers" alumni, the show's centerpiece sibling rivalry of snooty psychiatrists Frasier and Niles Crane sparkles with merrily sophisticated wordplay.

10. "The Larry Sanders Show" (HBO, 1992-98). Garry Shandling's dark, snarky show-business satire has been a groundbreaking marvel. In a hilarious journey to the bent center of modern-day celebrity, real stars spoof their own fame as Shandling's neurotic talk-show host fires the passive-aggressive wisecracks.

THE SECOND TOP 10

1. "The Dick Van Dyke Show" (CBS, 1961-66)

2. "I Love Lucy" (CBS, 1951-1957)

3. "Barney Miller" (ABC, 1975-1982)

4. "All in the Family" (CBS, 1971-83)

5. "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman" (1975-78)

6. "The Phil Silvers Show" (CBS, 1955-59)

7. "Happy Days" (ABC, 1974-1984)

8. "The Jack Benny Show" (CBS, 1950-1965)

9. "Leave It to Beaver" (CBS/ABC, 1957-1963)

10. "The Cosby Show" (NBC, 1984-1992)

HONORABLE MENTION

"Buffalo Bill" (NBC), "The Beverly Hillbillies" (CBS), "Sanford and Son" (NBC), "Newhart" (CBS), "Soap" (ABC), "The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show" (CBS), "Bewitched" (ABC), "The Jeffersons" (CBS), "Fernwood 2-Night," "The Odd Couple" (ABC), "Roseanne" (ABC), "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis" (CBS), "Rhoda" (CBS), "Amos 'n' Andy" (CBS), "The Wonder Years" (ABC), "Bosom Buddies" (ABC)

SIX SUPERFINE FAMILY COMEDIES

"The Andy Griffith Show" (CBS), "Home Improvement" (ABC), "Good Times" (CBS), "The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet" (ABC), "My Three Sons" (ABC), "Family Ties" (NBC).

ONE-SEASON WONDER

"Frank's Place" (CBS, 1987-88)

TOP SKETCH COMEDIES

"Monty Python's Flying Circus" (PBS), "SCTV" and "SCTV Network" (CBC/NBC), "Saturday Night Live" (NBC, 1975-80 only), "The Kids in the Hall" (CBC, HBO, CBS)

BEST COMEDY/VARIETY SHOWS

"Your Show of Shows" (NBC), "The Carol Burnett Show" (CBS), "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In" (NBC)

DECADE OF DUMBEST TV COMEDY

The 1960s on CBS. "Gilligan's Island," "Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.," "The Munsters," "Green Acres," "Mr. Ed," "Petticoat Junction," "The Brady Bunch."

FUNNIEST RECURRING FURNITURE

Rob Petrie's ottoman, "The Dick Van Dyke Show" (CBS).

BIZARRO CHUCKLEHEAD CULT GENIUS

Ernie Kovacs, "The Ernie Kovacs Show" (CBS, NBC).