"it's all over"

october 1999

'Ladies und gentlemen, I've a confession to make.  I'm terribly sorry,
but I've gone avant garde again!'
we have for your delectassssion a copy of the gorgeous, throbbing
Mark Simpson's Guardian piece on Viva 5 Apathy, it's a highly recommended read, packed to the drawstring with amusing quotes, notassssions und comments, leave everything, yes, that includes you with that chip pan, it'll be look after itself for a few more minutes, und venture to the media sectssssion whereupon you will discover it atop the heap of informassssssion available

we thought it mught be a lot of fun to present
a brisk guide to trick or treating!

we have beautiful mind candy by the bagfull, lurking with intent to razzle-dazzle in the postbag sectssssion
the shimmering valencia-ramos has sent us a delectable poetic affair
und we overspill on the art front this week with stunning new electronical artistic endeavors from the beautiful people known as...
(in alphabetical order)
a0d
+
baron und
+
lala

we've also gone und changed the quote

have a repulsively lovely halloween, sweethearts
count lovely und spike

zzzCULTUREzzz
or
qqqGARBAGEqqq
a dilemma...
on the one hand there's
zzzCULTUREzzz
the arts, discussssion, words, music
a veritable banquet, rich with informasssion, leaving you pleasantly full
on the other
qqqGARBAGEqqq
a beautiful happy meal, take-out trash, salacious, lascivious, tawdry, cheap, thrilling, leaving you fit to vomit

with Pretty Lady we hope you get to digest BOTH!
At once!
Pretty Lady
is rather like McDonalds Foie Gras
or popping down to your local so-called 'up market' wine bar for
Spam Fritters
the way things should be...
a beautiful, confused MELANGE
here's what's on the menu this week, gourmands...

"lip licking"
more lip-licking pay-per-view headaches from NOOZ in the "sound" sectsssion of postbag
it's another highly recommended download...
go on,
treat yourself

"firm melons"
celebrity squares opens wide und issues forth more beautiful star studded opinions vis-a-vis our icon of dazzlement, you can also now read our belated reply to the praxis group und we clear up a dreadful celeb faux pas, the delicious Mark Simpson now has his quote credited to himself rather than Steven Zeeland... with our apologies

"prizewinning marrow"
the lickably considerate LALA has decided not to be greedy und keep a little snap of The Divine David all to his/her self, instead donating it to Pretty Lady that it may be shared among the beautiful masses,
in gallery number 3
he is the truth, oh yes

"put the meat in"
more visual morsels to delight fans of Mr Cloth in the Section(ed) gallery

"a tasty pear"
discover the horror of reality (und what you can do about it)
in the beautiful, revamped teachings sectsssion

"greasy saveloy"
another slice of obsessive compulsive for those who cannot get enough

"large portion"
if you wish to leave a tip, it will be gratefully recieved, thankyou

FEED YOUR FACE
your beautiful waiting staff this evensong have been:
Count Lovely und Spike

October
16th
1999
*****
the ever stunning
Nooz [a0x]
has delivered to us another beautific musical composition,
designed to forcibly twirl your head upon it's axis
not available in any shops it can be downloaded from the 'sound' pages of postbag
it may take a while but believe us when we say we think it well worth the wait
...simply relax und let it happen...
*****
we've added an indulgent gallery to the Cliff! secsssion, after being begged, by the man himself, oh yes, he wants all Pretty Lady regulars salivating over his well preserved elderly body und face, so we said,
"OK Cliff!, for pity's SAKE, we'll do it, stop crying und get up off the floor you'll get your slacks filthy"
indulge yourselves at the Cliff! gallery
*****
we reveal, for your delectassssion our most recent tool for the overthrowall of the state
THEDIVINEDAVIDKACHU
oh yes, avant-garde terrorism cunningly disguised as a Pokemon,
we think it will catch on
und when it does
the future shall be ours
*****
we also have more cut out 'n' keep delights for the obsessive compulsive
*****
more teen americana lies in the Danny saga (celebrity squares)
*****
more visual prozac in the all live revue secsssion
*****
goodbye...
count
lovely
und
spike

date: 9th October 1999
place: pretty lady newsroom
must be: time for the news

brayings!

absolutely fucking loads
of odds und sods for your perusal this episode
pardon our French but its true,
we've had quite a few parcels pushed through our hole this week...

take a "gander" below at

this...

well
we don't know what to say...
THANK YOU!
WE LOVE YOU ALL!
all of you followers of this glorious mess of a site
the poppers-on, the hardcore regulars, the trans-global, the intergalactic, the mentally unstable, the confused, the donators of items
why, even the people who dropped in by mistake
we apresssssiate your time
without you we are
NOTHING
*very emosssssional time for us*

 und this...

it's a big danke schone to the ever-sparkling
LINNY
who comes laden with armfuls of The Divine Davidesque loveliness:

a brand new addissssion to the media secttsssion,
snipped from Time Out maaagaaazine it tells all about our icon's
SECTIONED evensong
a past event, but one far more than worthy of record und note
UND
another Obsessive Compulsive snipet-ette
UND
the inspirasssion behind a the newest Cloth Craft
BEAUTIFUL PORN PLACEMATS
in two glorious styles
one for the ladies und the gays
und one for the gentlemen und the lesbians!
...as witnessed by our shimmering regular at
INN-SEASON
sadly,
as our correspondent points out, these were taped down und so not stealable...
but fret not for PRETTY LADY have organized it so that you can now make your very own

MORE TEA VICAR?

und this...

HIGH ART
another pictoral shocker from the dazzling
GASSJACK
onward, ye faithful, to the
POSTBAG
secsssssion
a beau-ti-ful outrage
we hope nobody's been offended
oh yes

und this...

more celebrity squares jewels from the dazzlingly glamorous monde of showbiz... soap stars no less, isn't that lovely?
sadly, still no Britney Spears, she hasn't got her fat arse round to it yet

und this...

fresh links over which to salivate

und this...

we've also changed the quote... und it's absolutely fantastic!

see...
fucking loads!,
would we lie?
or profane in vain?...

byebye
count lovely und spike

new news? already... "well 'f' me if the time doesn't fly faster than snot off a hot shovel"
as somebody's dear old grandmother no doubt once said... we really are in the realms of
OCTOBER... 3 ...1999

corporate opression

your equipment is grey

your office is grey

your life is grey

grey plastic

grey wires

grey phones

grey skies

grey concrete

grey clouds

the only alternative being

beige

how to rectify this situation?

those of you with desk bound jobs, you could take some cans of paint into work und hurl the contents over the drab calico covered walls, adding a quick sprinkling of sequins und/or glitter then strip und roll about in the resulting malais, thus bringing both colour und avant garde art to your colleagues
those who work... (or don't work) from home... you could spray paint your monitor, yes, glass und all, with one of the many neon sprays on the market, what with the jaunty new colours und all those lovely fumes you'll soon be feeling a little brighter!

OR

you could download
SPIKE'S THE DIVINE DAVID DESKTOP MAKEOVER
oh yes!
add colour, noise, neon UND an iconoclastic image to your computer at the click of a few buttons... Spike has been hard at work... tinkering... und we both feel that the work has paid off...
click here
und
"spice up your life"
 

as you all know,
we love... mail
und we've had gorgeous mail from the lovely
Happy man
(a0d)
in the form of intense monochromatic artisticity
go und enjoy in the arts secsssion of
postbag
 

we also have, for your education, new links

und the very beginnings, the foetus, if you will, of yet another
gallery secssssion with a few new snaps und gorgeous backgroundage
how lovely

und more from the Danny Saga in celeb squares... regular readers of which will be glad to hear that he seems to be getting back on his feet, how lovely

ciao!
Count Lovely und Spike

back to yesterday's news index