Quote of the Week

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Captain Liberty: "Poetic justice."
Arthur:  "Is there any other kind?"
The Tick:  (Nodding his head) "Puppet show justice."

"If you come from the culture that created and perpetuated 'C.H.I.P.S.,' then a certain amount of distance from that culture should be maintained.  Keep to the fringes; it's safer, and it's better for your self image."  --Ben Edlund

"Always...always remember: Less is less.  More is more.  More is better, and twice as much is good too.  Not enough is bad, and too much is never enough except when it's just about right."  --Parting words from the Tick.

"The military has declared no fly zones over Disneyland and Disney World.  I'm sorry to report that Tinkerbell was shot down last night by an M-16."  (Audience Applause)  "I'm afraid there is no amount of clapping that will bring her back."  --Conan O'Brien

"Illiminats 'R' Us: there exists a worldwide conspiracy to create the illusion that there exists a worldwide conspiracy."  --Web surfing find

“Anatidaephobia: The fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.”  --Far Side Cartoon

Kramer to Jerry:
"Maybe I'm so sane I just blew your mind."

"Make tea, not love."
--Hells Grannies, "And Now for Something Completely Different

"Life is pain, Highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something."  --Dread Pirate Roberts, "Princess Bride"

"Only presidents, editors, and people with tapeworm have the right to use the editorial 'we'."  --Mark Twain

"Death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth!"
     --Tim the Enchanter, "Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail."

"I know the best pub in Edinburgh!! It's the oldest pub in the town. So we can get drunk in an historic place for cultural reasons!!!"  --Amanda (AU) my friend

"When I was your age kid we didn't have any of this what you call it, technology.  If you were really evil you would just walk up to somebody and smack them in the head."  --The Terror (A Tick villain)

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees laugh?

If a tree falls in Japan and no one is around to hear it, does it still get dubbed?

If you tell a joke in the forest and no one laughs, is it still a joke?

"Well folks, there you have it, the day in the life of a superhero and his sidekick.  It's a very long day, the tights are uncomfortable.  I think we covered that before.  Map light, convenient and essential.  A lot of working with villain motifs.  Crime has a Bosa Nova beat.  Leap before you look.  Remember: Denouement.  Other French words:  inconvenience, not essential.
    I could go on but times a wasting and evil's out there making handcrafted mischief for the swap meet of villainy."  --The Tick

"There is a theory that if anyone discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.  There is another theory that states that this has already happened."  --Douglas Adams, "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe"

"Taking is the same as borrowing, just without the formality."  --David Sedaris, "Naked"

"In the beginning the Universe was created.  This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."  --Douglas Adams, "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe"

"They don't wear breeches."  --Michel de Montaigne on the peoples of South America (1580)

I invent nothing, I rediscover."  --Auguste Rodin

"I saw my life passing before my eyes.  At least I think it was my life.  Did I ever dance with an android named Lupee?"  --B.E.N., "Treasure Planet"

"It's not my fault!"  --Han Solo and/or Lando Calrissian, "The Empire Strikes Back."

The Tick to Arthur:
"You're on a first name basis with lucidity, my friend, I have to call him Mister Lucidity."

"Destiny is a funny thing.  Once I thought I was destined to become the emporer of Greenland, sole monarch over it's 52,000 inhabitants.  Then I thought I was destined to build a Polynesian long ship in my garage.  I was wrong then, but I've got it now."  --The Tick

"Speak in French when you can't think of the English for a thing-turn out your toes when you walk-and remember who you are!"  --Red Queen, "Alice Through the Looking Glass"

"Begin at the beginning, and go on till you come to the end: then stop."  --King of Heart,  "Alice in Wonderland"

"To see your world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wild flower. To hold infinity in the palm of your hand, An eternity in an hour."  -- William Blake

"Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way."  --Lewis Carroll, "Alice in Wonderland"

"It is a miracle that curiosity survives a formal education."  --Albert  Einstein

"I'm not going into that forest without Gandalf."  --Michael O'Laughlin (my English teacher) on some fine point of grammar.

"I don't have to take this abuse from you, I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me."  --Dr. Peter Venkman, "Ghostbusters"

"Contrary to popular belief, death isn't just for dead people."  --Tick

"FYI man, alright. You could sit at home, and do like absolutely nothing, and your name goes through like 17 computers a day. 1984? Yeah right, man. That's a typo. Orwell is here now. He's livin' large. We have no names, man. No names. We are nameless!"  --Cereal Killer, "Hackers"

"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." --Yodaism

"Letters lead to words.  Words lead to sentences.  Sentences lead to suffering."  --Andyism

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." --Calvin

"You know, Scotland has it's own martial arts...but it's mostly head-butting and kicking people once they're on the ground."  --Charlie, "So I Married an Axe Murderer"

"Hey, you never know when you're going to be treed by some crazy guy with a shotgun."  --Bruce Armburst (my math teacher) on the many uses of algebra in everyday life.

"Evil comes in many forms.  Sometimes it knocks you through a wall, other times it just makes you forget what you were saying."  --The Tick

In Wonderland they lie,
Dreaming as the days go by,
Dreaming as the summers die:

Ever drifting down the stream-
Lingering in the golden gleam-
Life, what is it but a dream?
                         -Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"

"I'm a writer.  I give the truth scope." --Chaucer, "Knight's Tale"

"When you spend two months riding around on a really big man, you start to learn a few things about yourself.  You learn that it's really great to stay on Earth and live in a place that has no arms or legs of it's own.  Most importantly you learn how to close your eyes and tell yourself 'This just isn't happening to me'".  --The Tick

"I only know two languages: English and Bad English."  --Corban Dallas, "5th Element"

"Don't think you are, know you are."  --Morpheus, "Matrix"

"If there's a bright center to the universe, you're on the planet farthest from it..."  --Luke, "New Hope"

"I could be the walrus.  I'd still have to bum rides off of people."  --Ferris

"Isn't sanity just a one trick pony anyways?  All you get is one trick--rational thinking.  But when you're good and crazy the sky's the limit."  --The Tick

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Last updated August 2003 
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