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Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."
"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
"A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is
necessary. Man would indeeded be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death."
"The human mind is not capable of grasping the Universe. We are like a little child entering a huge library. The
walls are covered to the ceilings with books in many different tongues. The child knows that someone must have written these
books. It does not know who or how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. But the child notes a
definite plan in the arrangement of the books - a mysterious order which it does not comprehend, but only dimly suspects."
"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes,
it seems like two hours that's relativity."
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
Charles Fort (1874-1932)
"Nothing, in religion or science, or philosophy . . .is more than the proper thing to wear, for a while."
"The fate of all explanation is to close one door only to have another fly wide open."
"An opinion is a matter of evidence, but evidence is a matter of opinion."
"One measures a circle, beginning anywhere..."
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
"Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries."
"Every one is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody."
"I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess
in either a small way or a large way."
"Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied."
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt."
"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. I consider them unwise and I know they are dangerous. Also, sinful. If a man should
challenge me now I would go to that man and take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet retired spot
and kill him."
"It is noble to be good; it is still nobler to teach others to be good -- and less trouble."
Confucious Say (circa 551-479 BC)
"If you enjoy what you do, you'll never work another day in your life."
"It is noble to be good; it is still nobler to teach others to be good -- and less trouble."
"Mankind differs from the animals only by a little, and most people throw that away."
Confucious did not say
It take many nails to build crib... but one screw to fill it.
Man with one chop stick go hungry.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Man with square asshole shit brick.
Man who go to bed with ichy ass wakes up with sticky fingers.
He who sit on tack is better off.
Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Virginity like bubble. One prick, all gone.
Man who pull out too fast, leave rubber behind.
Man who scratches butt should not bite finger nails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball got it wrong... man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth... but next to it.
War doesn't determine who is right. War determines who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
Crowded elevator smells different to midget.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
Gay Indian is also a brave sucker.
Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time
Sex is like bridge game... don't need a partner if you have good hand.
Man who lays girl in field gets piece on earth.
Woman who sits on judges lap get honorable discharge.
Boy who goes to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
Difference between pick pocket and peeping tom is the pick pocket snatches watches.
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