Following is an explanation of the school homework policy. Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner:
15 minutes looking for assignment
11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment
23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children
8 minutes in the bathroom
10 minutes getting a snack
7 minutes checking the TV Guide
6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment
10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment
A Teenager Is...
A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.
A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.
A youngster who receives her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows it from her best friend on Wednesday.
Someone who can hear his favorite singer 3 blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.
A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.
A student who spends 12 minutes studying history and 12 hours studying for her driver's license.
A connoisseur of 2 kinds of fine music - loud and very loud.
An enthusiast who has the energy to bike for miles but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.
A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates the brother.
A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.
A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.
A boy who can sleep till noon on any Saturday he suspects the lawn needs mowing.
An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.
Enjoy the site. Happy surfing.
But, My Dog
When Bambi was in the fifth grade she looked downcast, so her teacher asked, "What's the problem, Bambi? I hope it's not homework again."
"Well, uh, yes it is," replied Bambi. "I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane."
"Bambi, you're right - That wasn't a very bright thing to do," said the teacher, "but this once I'll let you just unfold the paper and hand it in."
"Oh, but that won't work," said Bambi, looking even sadder. "You see, the plane was hijacked."
Weird Animal Trivia
Pigs are the only animals other than humans that can get a sun burn.
Dogs' mouths are 200 times cleaner then human mouths.
A cat's night vision is 6 times better than human night vision.
Kangaroos cannot walk backwards.
A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off.
Rats can't vomit - that's why rat poison works.
A parrot's intelligence is comparable to a 5-year-old child.
When a flim about world history is funny, could it be called a "comedy of eras?"
Highlands Ranch High School 9375 South Cresthill Lane Highlands Ranch, Colorado 80126 303-471-7000