1. To make a long story short . . . don't begin by saying to make a long story short.

2. At the end of the day . . . it is night.

3. Think out side of the box . . . by not saying think out side of the box.

4. You do the math . . . don't come to me without having your math done.

5. You can't compared apples to oranges . . . other then how they are different and how they are the same, in fact to explain why you can't compare them you have to compare them.

6. Ignorance of the law is no excuse . . . it's a valid reason since it is not a law to NOT be ignorant of the law, that's why lawyers exist and why they all specialize in only one area of law.

7. If you can't beat them join them . . . then beat them from the inside.

8. Never say never . . . can only be expressed by saying, "say".

9. On a scale from one to ten . . . we can only weigh things under ten because if they weigh ten or more they would all read as ten.

10. For the record... I have a record player.

11. What part of ___ don't you understand? . . . it's the part I would have to understand to answer that question.

12. The latest fashion . . . is the worst for being on time.

13. Tomorrow never comes . . . is to not know we really just rename it "today" when it gets here.

14. Be careful what you wish for . . . wishing might make you not strive for it.

15. Talk to the hand . . . so I don't go over your head.

16.  There is no, " I " in team . . . but there is a "me".

17.  That's what she said . . . as well as everything else.

18. Let's agree to disagree . . . rather than using logic and reason to solve our differences and learn something new.

19. There are two sure things in life, death and taxes . . . unless you die before paying your taxes.

20. The way I see it . . . is with my eye balls.

21. What comes around goes around . . . unless you use protection.

22. What's up? . . . Everything away from the Earth.

23. WWJD . . . you mean WWGD, that's WJWD.

24. One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results . . . unless you have ever learned anything in your life, then you know that practice makes perfect.

25. There is no such thing as a stupid question . . . actually there is, it's the one that goes unasked.

26. Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life . . . since you will be dead from starvation.

27. The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you . . . but it is still on my list of things I want to do, it's just the last thing.