*31 Up to My Knees

Jedi Nights

31

Up to my Knees

After a light lunch, the Golden Guide and the Reporter, proceeded to the Golden Guide’s small but neat room containing only a mattress on the floor and a few essential items. The Golden Guide laughed, “Welcome to my prison cell”. They sat down on the floor and the Golden Guide continued his story.

“So I woke up to see Nihung Jee looking down quite sternly at me. I didn’t know it then but those who had replaced the 5 G-BOD had earned the name of B-BOD (B as in Bad) and in just a few short weeks had already created havoc in the Gurudwara. The hooded Peer’s evil magic power itself was useless in the Gurudwara, but as humans – and governing humans at that - they had plenty of political power. They had created divisions amongst the sangat over seemingly trivial things. They proposed cutting down on amrit vela naam sessions because, get this, “it creates no income for the Gurudwara”. Needless to say, it had everyone on edge.

Quite perplexed by this sudden turn of personalities, the bewildered naamis were still wondering how best to handle the situation when I entered into the picture.

Godfather had been identified as the enemy of the naamis and I was well known as his number-one man; so my appearance wasn’t taken too kindly.

Anyhow, I woke up quite confused.

Nihung Jee’s naked Sri Sahib didn’t help matters much.

Translation by Siri Sahib Subtitle Artist:

Nihung Babas Unsheathed ½ meter long Kirpan, didn’t help matters much.

Translation by Kirpan Subtitle Artist:

The resident renowned Nihang warriors’ unsheathed 20 inch razor sharp iron sword pointed in the direction of the already disoriented Golden Goon didn’t help matters much.

Nihung ji immediately called Yodha Singh and Aunty Jee into the room. Aunty Jee approached and asked me in an authoritative iron-like voice, “So what filthy trick is your master up to now?”

I slowly sat up and said, “Godfather is no longer my master. He abandoned me…” and I couldn’t carry on. I just broke down and wept. I was in a very weakened condition and unstable mindset. The previous few weeks had been hell for me and now all my pent-up anguish poured forth expressing itself! While crying like a girlie-man, I told them, “I only want to sleep on Dhan Guru Nanak’s lap forever”.

They all looked at each other and suddenly they lost their enmity towards me (Amrit Aunty Jee later told me that she had glimpsed my former life realizing that I was one of them!) Suddenly they were hugging me and drying up my tears! I felt…,”

“Hang on, hang on!” the Reporter interrupted, “What did she see in your former life?”

The Golden Guide continued as if he hadn’t even heard the question, “so much love in that room for me, I couldn’t handle it. Their concern for me resulted in even more weeping! Aunty jee put a shawl over my shoulders to comfort me. I held it to me covering my face, absolutely saturating it with my tears. After I wept out all my tears, my body continued to heave and tremble. When at last I regained enough composure I shakily asked Aunty Jee how a filthy animal like me could be cleansed, imploring, “I want to see Dhan Guru Nanak right away and get Naam from him!”

They explained to me about Dhan Guru Nanak and said our Guru (now and always) is Shabad that resides in Gurbani. Aunty Jee, like a gentle mother, lovingly recited the first part of Jap Ji Sahib’s 21th pauree:

qIrQu qpu dieAw dqu dwnu ] jy ko pwvY iql kw mwnu ] suixAw mMinAw min kIqw Bwau ] AMqrgiq qIriQ mil nwau ] siB gux qyry mY nwhI koie ] ivxu gux kIqy Bgiq n hoie ] suAsiq AwiQ bwxI brmwau ] siq suhwxu sdw min cwau ]

theerathh thap dhaeiaa dhath dhaan || jae ko paavai thil kaa maan || suniaa manniaa man keethaa bhaao || antharagath theerathh mal naao || sabh gun thaerae mai naahee koe || vin gun keethae bhagath n hoe || suasath aathh baanee baramaao || sath suhaan sadhaa man chaao ||

She then patiently explained, “Pilgrimages, compassion and charity and other spiritual efforts give us only an iota of honor both in this and the next world. On the other hand, the Guru’s way, hearing, believing and loving the Guru Shabad, takes us deep within where we bathe and cleanse ourselves with Naam. But these qualities (without which being a Naam devotee is impossible) cannot be obtained by our own efforts – rather they are gifts that the True One bestows upon us. And after we receive these gifts, Dhan Guru Nanak teaches how to go into thankfulness and (like is the old tradition of gift-receivers) praise the True One by saying You are True, beautiful and eternally and enthusiastically joyful!!”

After listening to her, I calmed down quite a bit. Gurbani has a tranquil influence. I’m not sure if you are familiar with it … no? I suggest that you check it out if you are at all interested in the spiritual path. It does wonders - the affects are immediate and repeatable!”

The Golden Guide paused and they sat together in silence for a few moments. Following his usual habit after lunch, Golden Guide dozed off snoring softly. The Reporter looked around the room noting several pictures, a little CD-player and 5 or 6 CDs scattered about. The Golden Guide suddenly woke up again and continued as if he hadn’t stopped, “So there I was in a room with highly, highly evolved spiritual people reciting the Guru’s bani. If anybody had suggested such a thing to me just a few hours before, I would have laughed my golden head off!

The whiff of prasaad cooking came into our room and my stomach suddenly alerted me to it’s hunger. I told them I could listen no more until they fed me. They joked with me saying we feed only clean people! And said, “You need to take a bath, man! You are filthy! When was the last time you took a bath anyhow?”

I replied, “Last night in the sangat!” They burst out laughing . Nihung Jee disappeared and re-appeared with a bowl of rather extraordinarily delicious samosas (well, *anything* would have tasted yummy just then). After I devoured several, the naamis turned a little serious and asked me how I ended up at the gurudwara. I told them exactly what had happened. They were extremely interested and concerned when I told them about the G-BOD and the elevator.

Anyhow, I really need to cut down on the details and get to the part that you want me to get to. Nihung Jee handed me the longest chola he could find and showed me the way to the washroom. I went in and took a bath. Afterwards… I know, I know, this sounds trivial, but it is essential to the story (another excuse for an old man to keep yapping!). After the bath, I look at my dirty clothes and they fill me with so much disgust that I pick them up and threw them out of the window while shouting profanities at them!!!

I can only guess what the people outside the window thought! Then I looked at my golden rings and necklaces, stripped them off and I threw them out too. I figured the people outside the window would be more receptive to raining gold! Quite pleased with what I’d done, I put on the chola Nihung Jee gave me - it barely covered my thighs, thank you very much! I looked at myself in the mirror. And … and…”

The Golden Guide looked at the Reporter, who with wide eyes impatiently prodded him on, “Go on, go on!”

Golden Guide asked him, “So when do you plan to publish all this stuff?”

The Reporter looked at his watch and said, “Most probably tomorrow– it’s too late to get it in for tonight’s online edition.”

“Good!” replied the Golden Guide, “I looked in the mirror (I never told this to anybody except the naamis) and who did I see but Dhan Guru Gobind Singh jee!!! I swear this is true. I didn’t even know what he looked like at that time, but I *knew* that was him looking back at me with a slight smile on his face. I couldn’t believe my eyes and pinched and slapped myself several times, but there indeed, shone the King of all Kings, in all of his benevolence. Slowly his image faded and with awe I sank to my knees and closed my eyes so that I could etch his awesomely wondrous face into my mind forever.

Then I saw a scene unfold before me. Only later did I realize I had witnessed something of my previous life.

Attired as a singh, I wore a golden chola (no surprises there). I came leisurely sauntering out of a forest though grass up to my knees with 2 Singhs following behind me on either side. We joked together as do men in the final measure of moments, whose grains of sand have all but emptied from their glass. Indeed death tracked us imminent and immediate, in the form of large moghul army. Together we boasted in the bravado of loyal camaraderie, laughing in the face of impending doom, about how we should greet our Great Guru in the after-life!

Over the years that very personal vision (or multi-dimensional dream if you want it call it that) has always inspired me, more even than any saakhi that I have heard. I don’t think I can do it justice in telling it to you. It goes very deep, dealing with a lot of feelings that I’m unable to fully express. It essentially captured the fearless and carefree essence of Khalsa.

Anyway, the Naamis gave me this very room to stay in. I hung around the Gurudwara for a few weeks, learning, eating and sleeping (mostly the latter two!) But soon I grew restless. I found it suffocating to stay inside the Gurudwara all day long. At night I became fidgety, remember I was a party-guy, but no parties were happening in the Gurudwara (despite the B-BOD’s attempts!) More importantly I became aware of something that I had never paid any attention to before, my conscience! Like I told you earlier, I had done a lot of bad and ugly things in my life that I felt extremely guilty about. So after giving it some thought, I decided to turn myself into the authorities.

The naamis didn’t think much of the idea (actually Nihung Jee grumbled quite morbidly that Godfather would get me cremated before my confession incriminated him), but they didn’t discourage me too much either. So one night, I said an emotional goodbye (but lets not go there) and walked out of the Gurudwara. Guess who awaited me?”

<Who waited will be revealed in the next episode; but now we must give screen time to our good friends, the bad guys>

After the Peer <s.c.u.m> and Godfather’s made plans for the naamis’s destruction, Godfather asked the Peer <s.c.u.m> if he could turn his kids back to humans – “Of courssse!”, said the Peer <s.c.u.m> - in a good mood – for it’s not everyday in which you meet spirits that are so evil that the devil herself honored them at the last devil-retreat. “You,” she had said, pointing to the hooded Peer and his grandsons “are the reason that I bother getting out of bed at night. When I see flowers blooming and children laughing and the sun shining, I get too depressed! I slog along up to my knees in the doldrums” (this drew a audible gasp from the audiences of retreaters, mostly future S&E-Khanders), “But,” she quickly added, “All I have to do to get out of my funk is to remember the brilliant, shining red in your eyes and I am ready for another nights work!” She then raised her glass (filled with the freshest, most delicious mosqlood – I don’t want to digress from the main story but let me just say a million fresh mosquitoes had been personally (and joyfully) squeezed by St. S&E-Khand just to make this one serving) and chortled, “You, great Sirs, put the evil in devil!” a deafening roar rose up from the crowd making even the happiest happy Khander (a few billion miles away) wonder if happiness is overrated – but not for long, (“Sadness only exists so that we can appreciate happiness” they gurgled all bubbly before continuing with their flaky work).

Anyway, the Peer <s.c.u.m> prepared the species-converter powder with his dark mantras and asked Godfather to place his daughter on the coffee table. He sprinkled the powder onto the frog. A loud bang followed by a big dark cloud filled the room. Slowly the dark cloud billowed up while Godfather watched in delight. His beloved daughter appeared - her skinny, awkward body covered with pimples and warts making him feel proud all over; and … then … Godfather gasped in horror for he realized that his daughter’s head still very closely resembled a frog! The Ridhi Sidhi Frogirl <psycho music> smacked the tip of her long slimy tongue on her father’s cheek. Godfather’s turned red with anger and shouted at the Peer <s.c.u.m> - “Kuttey kaminey! Mein tera khoon peejoonga!”

Subtitles by Bollywood Kalakaars: “You meanie dog! I will drink your blood!”

The baffled Peer <s.c.u.m> still covered by the dark cloud (in his defense, this was the first time he had used his magic to convert a lower species to a higher species; he usually did it the other way - you know like from a dog to an eel; or from a cat to an auntie) worriedly wanted to ask "What's wrong?" but instead this came out of his mouth,

"If da wun dat u luved has left'd ya, den mah magic will bring dem bac widin 3 days- 100% Guaranteed Results Mofo!"

"If ya dont luv da wun dat u stuck wid, den mah magic will send dem away widin 3 days - 100% Guaranted Modafooooo!"

Subtitles by Teen-Speak Artists:

If your loved one has left you, my magic will bring them back within 3 days - 100% Guaranted Results!"

"If you don't love the one you are with, my magic send them away within 3 days - 100% Guaranted Results!"

Godfather shouted, “The head! My daughter’s head…!”

The voodoo box sprang open!...

To find out why the Peer <s.c.u.m> suddenly started talking in teen-speak (hint: outsourced un-QA-ed software) and what happened to the poor Ridhi-Sidhi FroGirl <r.e.d h.e.a.d> <psycho music> you will have to tune into next week’s episode….

Now we must go up to the astral plane where the Conspiracy theory kid has already started the story of his disappearance (just so that you are not lost when we catch up with him, I’ll briefly fill you in with what he said while you were wasting your precious time on frogirls! - I really get worried about you sometimes; instead of reading this junk, shouldn’t you be doing something else, like naam simran for example… Oh sure! Turn right around and accuse me of the same thing!

For your information, the Creator was experimenting with outsourcing at the time of my creation, abandoning it soon after. (hmmm, I wonder why? Maybe, because they had inadvertently installed the wrong version of Naam in me, it’s supposed to have been Naam-Tera; but the version I have is Naam-Mera. “What’s the big deal if it’s a T or an M”, the outsourced amigo reportedly asked before taking his beloved siesta). So the only way out for me is to get others to jap naam - that’s why I’m so hard on you, otherwise I wouldn’t give a Peer’s bAckSSide <s.t.i.l.l r.e.d>

Anyhow, herez what the Conspiracy theory kid had told so far: He had opened his eyes to find himself the Captain of a ship, sitting with another man, a Merchant who had rented the ship, in the ships cabin, reciting Jap Ji Sahib

… <please be quiet, while we join the story already in progress>…

kvxu su vylw vKqu kvxu kvx iQiq kvxu vwru ] kvix is ruqI mwhu kvxu ijqu hoAw Awkwru ]vyl n pweIAw pMfqI ij hovY lyKu purwxu ] vKqu n pwieE kwdIAw ij ilKin lyKu kurwxu ] iQiq vwru nw jogI jwxY ruiq mwhu nw koeI ] jw krqw isrTI kau swjy Awpy jwxY soeI ]ikv kir AwKw ikv swlwhI ikau vrnI ikv jwxw ] nwnk AwKix sBu ko AwKY iek dU ieku isAwxw ] vfw swihbu vfI nweI kIqw jw kw hovY ] nwnk jy ko AwpO jwxY AgY gieAw n sohY ]21]

kavan s vaelaa vakhath kavan kavan thhith kavan vaar || kavan s ruthee maahu kavan jith hoaa aakaar || vael n paaeeaa panddathee j hovai laekh puraan || vakhath n paaeiou kaadheeaa j likhan laekh kuraan || thhith vaar naa jogee jaanai ruth maahu naa koee || jaa karathaa sirathee ko saajae aapae jaanai soee || kiv kar aakhaa kiv saalaahee kio varanee kiv jaanaa || naanak aakhan sabh ko aakhai eik dhoo eik siaanaa || vaddaa saahib vaddee naaee keethaa jaa kaa hovai || naanak jae ko aapa jaanai agai gaeiaa n sohai ||

pwqwlw pwqwl lK Awgwsw Awgws ] EVk EVk Bwil Qky vyd khin iek vwq ] shs ATwrh khin kqybw AsulU ieku Dwqu ] lyKw hoie q ilKIAY lyKY hoie ivxwsu ] nwnk vfw AwKIAY Awpy jwxY Awpu ]22]

paathaalaa paathaal lakh aagaasaa aagaas || ourrak ourrak bhaal thhakae vaedh kehan eik vaath || sehas athaareh kehan kathaebaa asuloo eik dhhaath || laekhaa hoe th likheeai laekhai hoe vinaas || naanak vaddaa aakheeai aapae jaanai aap ||

The Merchant explained to me, "Dhan Guru Nanak discusses time in the 2nd half of pauree 21; while space is discussed in pauree 22. The Guru says only the Creator knows when creation started and how big it is. Rather than searching for something that is impossible to know, the Guru’s path is for spiritual searchers, who after realizing the vastness of the Creator, to go into awe and say WAH! as in WAH!Guru WAH!Guru. This actually will make the searcher One with the Creator and give them access to all possible knowledge (although once one becomes One with the ONE, questions about creation will seem trivial).

Guru Sahib jee also cautions against those who say they know the start and end of creation; such ones have big egos (perhaps because they know a little more than others) so won't fare very well in (this or) the after-life."

We both fell silent for a while. The cabin rocked gently in the sea. The hours spent with the Merchant discussing gurbani, fast become my favorite past time. A devout Sikh, he loved to recite and explain gurbani to the not-so-spiritual-sailors like me and my crew. Slowly I had developed a taste for this wonderful source of inspiration and truth.

We were about to start the next pauree when unexpectedly a strong wave slammed into our ship, throwing us off our seats and onto the floor. We stumbled up to the deck. I had seen never such a sudden storm. Wave after wave washed over our ship, beating and hammering it relentlessly, making it roll wildly and groan as though it would split at the seams. The frightened voices of my men could be heard above the howling winds, calling to each other as they struggled to lower the sails. We could see large dark menacing rocks looming along the jagged coastline like teeth in a cavernous jaw hungrily waiting to break and smash our ship to bits.

Soon, tipping at a crazy angle the ship began taking in water. Before long I stood up to my knees in water, the end seemed inevitable. The Merchant knelt down. His lower body submerged he raised his clasped hands he prayed, “Dhan Guru Nanak, light that shines in every heart, please have compassion and mercy on us. Please deliver us, for without thee we perish. Please give us the shelter of thy Embrace. Please make it possible for me to return to the Guru a small part of what was given by the Guru. If it is your will that I live, I vow that as soon as I set foot safely on shore, I will come and present to thee 500 gold mohars personally. Our safety lies in thy hand, O beloved Architect of destiny, please uplift us and carry us across this dreadful sea. We are surely lost without thee. Thou are the True captain, thy gurbani the True life boat."

And lo and behold, almost immediately, the fury of the storm subsided. A great heave cleaved the waters. Our sinking ship righted and set afloat. The men collapsed in relief (and in awe of the power of prayer). As soon as we made landfall, the Merchant and I set out in search of Guru Sahib. We soon learnt though that Guru Har Krishan jee had recently left the earthly abode. His final words had been “Guroo Baba Bakale,” indicating the Guruship would be passed to one residing in Bakala.

We made haste for Bakala, but upon reaching there discovered that there were not one, not two, but 22 people claiming to be *the* true guru. We didn’t know how to fulfill our vow. But the Merchant came up with a plan saying he couldn’t live with the debt of 500 mohars on his conscience. He decided to give each of the “gurus” 2 mohars to see what would happen.

I, on my part, felt extremely disappointed that I couldn’t see the True Guru right away. I had become thirstier and thirstier for his sight. I had been reading Jap Jee Sahib quite religiously by that time (perhaps more religiously than even now). Each time I read it, deeper meanings would surface. I silently did an ardaas in my mind asking that the True Guru answer my question “When did the Creator create this World?” with the answer of “Awpy jwxY soeI”. (Yes, it’s true, that was my sorry plan but that’s the best I could come up with).

We started our search. The first “guru” (actually rugu, for "ru" is light and "gu" is darkness and these adepts led away from light, plunging into darkness) we went to, boy oh boy , was he ever a flake! We noticed right off how he sat with his back towards the men and his wide eyes fully towards the women. He would remark, “Oh, that’s a wonderful suit you are wearing,” to the young pretty women in the congregation, “It fits your slender supple body perfectly!” We didn’t even bother entering this rugu's dera.

On our next attempt we encountered a slightly less depraved rugu, who looked at women with one only eye, while the other gazed at the money donated to him at his feet.

I have to say, we did not make a good start! But it did get a little better as we caught on. One of the tricks we noticed was that when we got close to a dera, the resident rugu would send his agents to meet us and check us out. Seeing the merchant’s royal clothing they would make inquiries attempting to get information. Then they would sneak back and tell the guru whatever they had learned about us. Once we entered the dera, the clever rugu would say things like “So how your trip from the sea?” hoping to impress us with his “divine” knowledge.

One time (hehe and this is funny), an agent came to us as we approached one of the deras and began asking questions. I told him that I was Darth Vader looking for my mask (I have no idea where I came up with that name – perhaps the future-me sent it to the past-me). We went into the dera. The merchant put down his 2 mohars and the rugu suddenly "woke" up from his meditative trance and exclaimed “We have someone here by the name of Darth Vedas!” (a sharp whisper could be heard from the back), “…I mean Darth Vedar. This man is looking for his long, lost masket!”

Holding our sides, we barely got out of there before bursting into laughter, falling to the floor, rocking, rolling, and hooting uncontrollably. The passer-byes looked at us as though we were crazy. But this was nothing compared to what was about to happen. The next rugu declared, while holding his fingers to his temples, “I feel the pain of Austin Powers searching for his mojo; he has come to the right place!!!”

To be fair, some rugus were pretty serious and even had some bona-fide spiritual knowledge and an aura about them. But none could answer my answer correctly; each of them had their pet theories about creation but none of them matched up with what I had read in Jap Ji Sahib. Finally we ran out of prospects having interviewed each of the 22 rugus. We returned to our rooms at the Inn, disappointed, and despite all the fun, feeling quite lost.

The next morning we had breakfast on the terrace and discussed what we should do. The merchant had decided that he would give away the rest of the gold mohars to the poor of the city and be done with it. All our humor had abandoned us. In a foul mood we just sat there silently watching people milling about.

Then… we saw a tall man making his way through the crowd. There was nothing extraordinary about him; but there was nothing ordinary about him either. Yet it seemed as though a spotlight shone on him. He walked with a carefree gait that reminded me of Merchant's rich friends, yet he was dressed quite modestly.

The merchant asked, “Do you see him?” I nodded and kept watching. He turned the corner and disappeared from our sight. That shook us out of our stupor and the merchant shouted to the bellboy below, “Stop that man!” The bellboy, without looking at the merchant’s pointing finger, ran towards the corner where the man had turned. We ran and caught up with him.

He turned to us. His eyes and face were brilliantly lit up. He might have been a disguised King, or a fantastic blissed-out artist of some sort. “How can I help you gentlemen?” he asked, his voice brimming with wholesomeness. We caught our breath. The merchant requested that he join us for breakfast so we could talk. He declined politely saying that he was already late for a meeting. So the Merchant quickly explained that we were looking for the Sikh Guru.

“Oh, there are plenty of those!” he laughed indifferently. Then he narrowed his eyes scrutinizing us intently for a moment. His aloof attitude gave way to interest. He accepted the invitation to join us for breakfast. He divulged to us that there was one other Guru by the name of Guru Tegh Bahadur Sahib. But warned us the Guru does not host guests preferring instead to remain in Naam. It was this guru he was on his way to meet when we had seen him. Indeed it as per his daily routine, he would go to Guru before starting his day spending blissful moments in his company. His countenance shone divinely while recounting these details so that we readily believed him.

We begged him to take us along. He kept quiet for a little while, before speaking very deliberately. “I am getting a message inside that I should take you to the Guru!” He looked at our delighted faces and added, “Indeed I felt the same when we were talking earlier but I thought perhaps I had misread the message. But I don’t wish to sell you anything that you don’t want to buy. I will gladly take you to the Guru’s house. I will also gladly ask the Guru if you can visit him. But if he says no, that will be the end of our acquaintance. Because it is possible that I am misreading the message from within – I have done so before.”

We eagerly agreed and followed him to the Guru’s abode. He told us to wait outside on the porch. He entered the door and paused; he looked at me and winked, “The answer to your question is Awpy jwxY soeI!”

Needless to say, we were overjoyed and waited with abated breath.

He came out a few minutes later, very excited, “The Guru has agreed! This is the first time in years that he has said “Yes” to anyone!” He held our hands and said, “I have been waiting for this for a long time!” We looked at each other; excited and a little apprehensive. We knew this was it. If this turned out not to be the real thing, a misinterpretation had been made of the 8^th Guru’s final words. A moment later, upon entering, all our doubts left us. This was indeed the real deal!

The tranquility in that place seeped even into an old Sailor like me. Guru Tegh Bahadur Sahib sat alone, eyes closed, quietly absorbed. I had set my eyes on a great many awesome sights in my travels - ocean sunsets, mountain sunrises, exotic waterfalls, glorious Islands, but these paled in comparison to what they now beheld. The Guru was beauty itself! A stunningly overpowering magnetic radiance surrounded him. We stood there for a long time, just drinking his darshan blissfully.

After what seemed an eternity, the merchant moved close to Him and bowed respectfully; placing an offering of two gold mohars in front of Him (the merchant later told me that he already knew this to be the True Guru, but offered 2 mohars out of sheer habit). The Guru opened his naam-filled eyes and with a voice that resembled the freshness of an early morning, he mirthfully expounded, “That leaves 498 mohars still owed to Guru Nanak’s house!”

Prostrating himself, the merchant grasped Guru Sahibs feet with both hands. Overcome, he wept wordlessly. When finally he could speak, his voice trembled; thanking Guru Sahib profusely for protecting and saving him along with his men and ship. “Guru Sahib jee, words are inadequate to express the depths of my most sincere heartfelt gratitude,” he attempted helplessly. Gathering his composure, the merchant withdrew the five hundred gold mohars tied at his waist. In deep gratitude and undying love, he placed them at Guru Sahib’s feet. He spoke reverently saying, “My wonderful, compassionate, kind, generous life-giving Guru, I have been searching so long and have found You at last. Guru Sahib jee, please accept my humble offering. Please accept what is already Yours, what rightfully belongs to You. I offer you my All; these are the five hundred gold mohars I promised You. They have not been touched. They are for You only, no other!”

The Guru answered kindly, “Merchant, you offer me your all, yet place before me gold coins.” Then he recited

mwieAw mmqw mohxI ijin ivxu dMqw jgu KwieAw ]

maaeiaa mamathaa mohanee jin vin dhanthaa jag khaaeiaa ||

mnmuK KwDy gurmuiK aubry ijnI sic nwim icqu lwieAw ]

manamukh khaadhhae guramukh oubarae jinee sach naam chith laaeiaa ||<644>

“Bewitching is the love of wealth which without teeth has eaten up the whole world. Those who follow their own minds will be eaten away; those who follow the Guru, fixing their mind on Naam, will be saved.”

Totally at a loss for words, I reflected that Guru Sahib had not only saved us from being swallowed in the swell of the storm but now promised to deliver us from the all devouring swill of the mind. I just stood mouth agape in complete admiration as I observed the scene unfolding before me. The merchant straightened up joyfully. He looked in to Gurus Radiance confirming aloud, “I am Yours and You are mine!”

Determinedly grabbing me by my arm, he took me up to the rooftop of the house. Waving a flag, he shouted out declaring, “Gur Laadho Rae! Gur Laadho Rae! The Guru has been found! The Guru has been found! I have found Him at last, after searching, I found my TRUE GURU, Dhan Guru Tegh Bahadur Sahib! He has been right here all along. Come His Sikhs, come and join me in joyous celebration for I have found the TRUE GURU. Let us together beseech Him to come forward now, and lead us to the True One’s abode!”

Hearing this, Sikhs came running, and on evidence of the Merchant’s tale, convinced Dhan Guru Tegh Bahadur Sahib to claim his rightful seat, as their own One True Guru, on Dhan Guru Nanak eternal throne.”

To be continued…

PS: I have heard that Ackhmed has moved into a 5-sphinx tomb with free Internet access; so I don’t expect him to be appearing on this Series anymore. But not to worry, I will answer any questions he usually asks: Rugus?

Well, though imposters continue to advertize, the rugus didn’t fair too well. After the True Guru discovery, people abandoned them rapidly forcing the rugus to seek other incoming-producing ways: The mojo-rugu, for example, created his own line of manly perfumes designed to excite women. But despite the large order by both-eyes-on-women-rugu, the perfumes failed to gain any market share; especially once it became apparent that the perfume attracted more female bees than female humans! The other rugus didn’t do much better – in fact, so tragic are their 'tails' that I am thinking of writing a brand new series just about them – Evenings with Rugus Series. For further info, stay tuned to this space/time slot…

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