The Bible - Endsville Style
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The word, "Proverb" reflects the Hebrew word, "Mashal", which means to represent or be like. Solomon wrote all this stuff about holy and sin, but too bad he was one of those "do as I say, not as I do" kinda dudes. He coulda saved himself a heap of trouble if he had only listened to his own advice. Sounds like lots of people I know....


Elizabeth and Ivy illustrating several parables of the wise woman and the fool

Proverbs 25:12 - Like a golden ring and a fine gold ornament, so is constructive criticism to the ear of one who listens

This means if is comes straight from The Honorable Reverend Caleb Solar's mouth, good or bad, you best be heeding it and making the necessary correction, fool!

Proverbs 25:25 - Like cold water to a thirsty soul so is good news from far away.

Define "far away", that could mean anything from 'cross town to 'cross the table to 'cross the planet.

Proverbs 7:24 - Now sons, listen to me, Pay attention to the words from my mouth

Ok, we promise cross our hearts, hope to die, ears open...

Proverbs 7:18 - Come, lets drink our fill of love until morning. Lets enjoy making love

Well, this one is TOO easy, post-Quellish (Let It Come!) fun and games!

Proverbs 7:21 - With all her seductive charms, she persuades him. With her smooth lips, she makes him give in.

Maybe I shoulda skipped this one..sounds sort of like what happened between Elizabeth and the Reverend out on the lawn the day he was showin' Ivy how we're all beyond sex...

Proverbs 29:15 - A spanking and a warning produce wisdom but an undisciplined child disgraces his mother

Where can I sign up for one of these "spankings"?

Proverbs 6:6 - Consider the ant, you lazy bum. Watch it's ways and become wise

The lazy bums in the above passage are certain people that swan about Endsville in bedsheets, eatin' grapes and dancing to stupid flute music and the ant is our very own Kenneth Thith

Proverbs 24:33 - Your eyes will see strange sights and your mouth will say embarassing things

If I didn't know better I would say that sounds like Ladies Night at T-Man's Restaurant but the meanin' is clear. It refers to the dumb stuff we say before we see the light of the Truth via Caleb

Proverbs 7:22 - He immediately follows her, like a steer on it's way to be slaughtered

Ivy, this is a direct warning for you. This would have been your fate had you followed those evil seductresses in black robes with the grapes that tried to seduce you.