The Asylum-Random Stuff from the Depths of my Mind

Random Stuff from the Depths of my Mind

What's left of it, anyways...

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-the Management

As you may have guessed from the main page, I'm a little weird. Ask the people on The List, and they will tell you just how much of an understatement that is. I am a pyro and have been known to light the ends of my dead matches when I burn down all the candles I can find. It's happened more than once. I am also obsessed with knives, swords, and all sorts of blade-type objects. I have a machete that I am very proud of and I hope to have a picture of it here as soon as the film comes back.

Andy: Andy was the engineer of the OM stuff in 11th and 12th grades. He is a very sweet boy, always happy and ready with a hug if you need it. The scariest thing I've ever seen was Andy depressed. He's in Fargo for computer engineering I think.....

Kristine: Kristine is a cat. Like she wrestles and bites and growles and purrs. Very loyal frined, will kill people for being mean. Going to the University of Minnesota. She has worked far far too much over the past two years and summers, so I hope we'll be able to play in the future. Reportedly has a tattoo! She is going to the University of Minnesota, poor girl, majoring in pre-vet med (ouch!).

Scott: Now a senior and the dreaded high school, Kristine's boy/worshiper. Actually, they've gotten better recently.

Sara: Sara was my first public-school friend, and the one I latched onto the first day of 11th grade. She is the only reason I know any of the people I know. She also survived as an alto in Holen's choir. Currently getting paid to go to college, she's gonna teach chemsitry. I don't know what happened, she used to be such a sensible girl... She writes really neat songs, too. All the way back home, going to Mankato. Sara is the type of person who goes to the bathroom in a public place and gets a stranger telling her their life story at the sink, with no encouragement. This year she isn't killing herself with an impossible college schedual.

Carly: Carly is Jenny's twin sister, so also 469 years old. She is going to Concordia to go to college to learn stuff. Popularely known as the bard, she is obsessed with music and sings more than she talks. Generally shy, always hyper. Never shy around us, it might be nice is she calmed down occasionally. Very nice girl.

Amy: Amy is Andy's girlfriend. She's a senior at Murderuous Gremlin High School, poor child. I didn't know her past "that poor girl next door" for OM in 11th grade, but now she gets all my crap before I do stupid stuff. it helps that when I told her about me and Jenny, she just said OK and actually helped me figure out waht was messing up my mind. She understands me because of Andy. This is the sheep girl from OM.

Jenny: What can I say about Jenny? The girl is my life. As previously mentioned, Carly's twin, 469 years old, acts not a month over 5, and I love her. She is beautiful inside and out. She took me and fixed me. She takes joy from everything, from birds in the sky, trees, little critters, me, to music, reading, everything. She is nice to everyone, even people who don't deserve it. She is the nicest, sweetest, colest person I know, and that is saying a lot. She is into SF/fantasy and swords, just like me. For a good description, click here. She also got me into Monaco. We went to college together last year at North Hennepin. She took more classes, though. She is at Michegan Technological University for mechanical engineering, where I hope to be next year. Superlative girl in every way.

Now the good stuff

Politics, Government, and Adults are here.

Old Stuff is here

Snow and Curses

Snow was the other thing I missed in FLorida.. So when it finally snowed here I was overjoyed. And then came time to actually drive on the stuff.... 'Twas quite interesting! Went to Moonbrookes's driving, oh, I think I hit 35 once... Actualy, I didn't slide at all whisch I thouhgt was quite surprising, 'cause it just was realyt slipery and I hand't driven for a long long long time... So I was driving Mom to work Tuesday, and I remarked to her thatr I hadn't slid once yet. At the top of the hill we were giong up was a stop sicg, Guess who slid right through?

Motorcycling

So I was driving around shopping for ugly pants (really) in my bike. My bike, for those of you who haven;t seen it (and I konw many of my friends don't even know it exists) is white gas tank, huge white fairing (that's the windshild thingee) and a HOT black seat (ouch!). Old 1973. Old, rusty (I'm sorry, it's really salty here!), BIG (750 tuoring bike, biggest off ground ever made). So anywas, I was driving around looking for a parking spot when I hear "HEY!" see boy on the sidewalk waving at me. I don't know him, so I sort of nod, wahtever, and park. He folows me over and even before helmet off is talking (sorry, I've been reading Emergance, tends to corrupt already bad writing skills), commenting on my beautiful baby. "Hey, I've never seen a windjammer like this, I have a black (something, I forgot) just like this! Oh wow, no just a little different, what year is it? Did you ride it all the way from Minnesota? (No, but riding home this summer) Wow, good condition, you fix it up? wow! I had mine, '77, in showroom condition, got totalled, some lady ran me over last week." OK, that's cool. So I got talked to just 'cause my bike has a fairing and I thought it was pretty dang neat.

Willing Suspension of Disbelief

Going to an engineering college is an experience. With 31% women here, the guys are rather, um, desperate. So I was playing in Matt's room when a guy I don't know comes over, peers in, and demands an introduction. About an hour later, he is playing with my hands, finds my ring and pulls it. Fingers curl over, no body takes off that ring-from my Jenny, it does not come off (except for OM, but that's a rule thing...). Somehow the conversation drifts to the point where I decide to show him the pictures in my wallet. "That's my girlfriend (OK, but descriptive and people will understand it)" "Oh, so you go both ways, huh?" "yup!" Flip through, the last picture is of both of us. "And that's me and my girl." "You're kidding aren't you?" "No." He looks at Matt. "She isn't serious, is she?" Matt (who knows) shrugs. Thanks for the help boy! "Really? You're serious?" I nod, I am! He shakes his head, muttering denyals. OK, I was flirting with him a little (OK a lot, I was lonely!). He's been trying to get me alone for, oh half an hour. So eventually I give in (I can outrun him, no problem, besides he feels safe). "So, what you were saying before, about that girl..." "Jenny?" "yes..." I'm not making this easy for him. OK, not very easy at least... "Were you serious?" "YES!" "For real?" "Uh huh." "The two of you are..." "Yes." We walk. "For real!??!" "Yes!" "Huh." Later, he told me it was the first time anyone had come out to him. He knew not straight people existed, but he had never met anyone who was. I said who he knew was. So we talked abotu it alot. Told him bad idea taking rings off people's ring fingers. He said he susected what it was for and was testing, what a dork! But is still really amused me that it took like three hours to convince him that I was serious about being involved with a woman....

Mess!

OK, I usesd to be able to eat without making a mess all over the place. One day last week I spilled entire glass of juice all over my tray, the glass I tried to replace it with, and later that same meal ended up with sauce on my shirt and my pants, and now I realize that sometime today I totally got sauce all over my pants. Sigh, at elast I used to notice when I was messy...

Wait a Second!

"Play Singled Out, you could find the man of your dreams!" Wait just one second there. Why says I need a man? I already have the woman of my dreams, I don't want or need a man. What happened to free chioce. I bet never let a girl look for woman of her dreams. Oh well, engineering college, need to give the boys a chance....

The woes of a vehicle older than yourself

So Thursday I was coming home from work, pull up to the stoplight, and realize my engine is no longer running. OK, not big deal, hit the starter switch. Nothing happens. OK, again. Engine doesn't even turn over. Swear silently inside helmet. Push thing to right lane into bike lane, put in neutral try again. Realize with dread that the turn signal indicator is off, cannot get the neutral light on, even though bike obveously in neutral, iol pressure light off when engine off. Something seriously wrong. Back up the street until find gravel parkinglot, and heaave monster in, panic growing. Stop, deep breath. No turn signal, no idicator lights, no start engine. Electrical system. Swear not so silently. Push heavy bike long way to paved parkinglot, take off sweaty helmet and try to think rationally. Have been neglecting battery, probly low on fluid. No big problem except dont remember wich end must be removed forst to aviod nasty shock. Losk bike, pick up helmet and leather jacket walk almost a mile back to school in 75 degree weather, in way too many clothes, and run to make class on time.
After class, I ran into some boys in my group and basically told them that if they had nothing better to do they were going to help me push my bike back to school where I could work on it and not worry about it being parked overnight or ahving to walk out every time I had an idea. We debated renting a trailer, lifting the thing onto Matt's truck, towing adn pushing and decided that for safety and affordability, pushing it would be. Went back in two cars, I tried it one more time, praying it was a fluke and would just start up on its own. No luck. So with Joe, Dan, and Henry pushing, me walking and steering, we pushed the corsswalk button and got on the sidewalk. (192 being a rather to busy road to push along.) When we ran ot of sidewalk, Matt drove in front and Amanda behind ('cause she has emergency flashers.) Good thing we had both cars, because the other traffic was not amused going walking pace and would ahve run us over if not for them. Let me tell you, even riding being pushed is not fun. I was not supplying much in the way of pushing force and I was still cranped up by the time we got to the parking lot. It is now full night, almost 9pm, so we call it a night and make a date to fix it on Saturday with Dan, resident electrical expert.
Dan had an interesting time finding the wires tocheck even. We took the gas tank off (ugh!) to trace the problem. It was quite educational for me. Dan wanted to check the fuses, but we coudln't find them! I even called my dad, and he didn't know where to look. So we traced the wire into this black box. Which said "5 amps tail, 10 amps head, 15 amps main." "We found the fuses." said Dan. He checked the fuses and discovered that was indeed our problem. Yeah Dan! Then it looked like the fuses were solid state, so I made a phone call to the Honda dealer. While I was on hold, Dan was playing around with the fuse box and he sudelny piped up "Wait a minute!" I looked, and he had pulled apart the fuse box! "Not solid state. You can buy these anywhere." I hung up fast. Dealers are not the cheapest palces to get parts, but can't get parts for a 26 year old bike cheaply anywhere. And that wasn't all! Inside the box was a clip of spare fuses. So I didn't even have to beg a ride to the store! We put the new fuse in, hooked it back up, and everything started up like a charm. Wonderful. The moral of the story is: don't be pushed by space=science or physics majors because they can't push in a straight line and make steering work wrong.

Choice

Now, I am mainstream in no way. I go barefoot a lot. I have gone barefoot in snow. Not for long, but more than once. If I step on something, that's my fault, I deal with it. Gramma does not approve. I don't wear makeup. I chose that. I don't aprticularely have the attention span to learn to do it correctly, I don't think I need it, I am comfortable with who I am, and I just plain don't want to! This is abnormal, and I chose to live this way. Many people use it as an excuse to not talk to me, but they are generally the people I don't want to talk to, so life is good. I wear army pants. I think that they are more comfortable than jeans and I like the pockets. Yes in some places this is trendy, but for the most part still a little weird. I chose to wear these clothes, and if people don't like me for it, then so be it. I don't want shallow friends. I chose not to shave my legs. It annoys me and I forget often enough I always itch. Many people think this is "icky," like my babe sister. But it is my choice, no business of theirs, especially if I am wearing long pants. Now I did not shose to fall in love with Jenny. I know some people believe that who you love is a concious decision. I think that is a load of bull, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Yes Jenny is very easy to love, but I really tried not to, I couldn't deal with loving a woman, so I denied it and refused to accept it. It did no good, therefore I can only conclude that this was not a chioce. Yet people would condemn me to Hell for it. I don't get it...

More Bike Stuff

Was in the aprking lot getting suited up to drive home. I'm a paraniod biker, long pants, boots, gloves, jacket all the time. So it takes me a while to get ready. As I'm dressing, this groups walkes by, kid in a stroller several adults. Kid points at me bike "Look at Harley motorcycle!" I laugh, "Not quite a Harly!" One of the adults is looking over briefly "But it still has lots of history behind it!" As they walk off I smile at him, happy with my transprotation.
On another note about the bike, when I'm out driving other bikers, not the ones on sport bikes, but the other road bikes and tour bikes usually wave at me. it's really cool see biker chicks, old biker guys, guys on Harleys, couples, even groups of bikes somtimes all wave at me 'cuase I have a real bike, not a sportster. Nice, fun feeling. And also cool random strnagers wave too...

Wind Chill

You would think as a native Minnesotan I would be familiar with the concept of "wind chill." Think again! So I go to breakfast Saturday morning, it's cold. Not like walk outside insides freeze, but for Florida, it's cold. It's like 50. So I go out to ref, wearing shorts and a tshirt under a jacket and long pants. I wore this same outfit riding around this summer in 75 degree weather and was comfortable. In 50, going 60 mph, it is not at all comfortable. And this place was a long drive too! 45 minutes of 40-60 mph wearing not enough, well it was an experience..... I get to the fields teeth chattering, shaking, can't stop. I'm sure that was healthy.... The moral of the story is: it's a lot colder on a motorcycle than in a car with a heater.

Exact Definitions

My physics prof says the body is an accelerometer, not a speedometer, meaning your body can tell when it's speeding up or slowing down, but it can't tell if you're traveling 10 or 100 mph if you close your eyes. So driving a motorcycle is exciting because of the greater acceleration not speed. I pondered this as I was driving down the freeway, fighting the wind, realizing that if i put my foot down 6 inches I would probably kill myself, toe catch the speeding pavement, flip me one way, bike the other (I know the statics and forces behind it and I am tempted to put in the equations but I'll spare you). I love the wind buffeting my body, the sun on my back, semi's whizzing by six inches form my head, cars close enough to kick (oh wait, no I dont!) well, I like riding because there is that fake sense of danger. Yes more dangerous than car, but not really that dangerous to self if you know what you're doing.This was going to have a point but I have forgotten it. Oh well, I'm an engineer not a liberal arts major :P

Telling Scott

Scott is this space science major at Florida Tech. I don't know where we picked him up, but he has a car which may explain it. He is really normal for our group. So I was reading Dave Barry's Guide to Sex and Marriage and commenting about how after wedding, I'd like to get a hotel room, or that failing I suppose we could go up to our appartment for the weekend but that seems sort of cruel seeing as Henry will be up. "Where does Henry live?" asks Scott. Lakeland. "Oh, that Henry, thought you meant your boyfriend." I don't have a boyfriend. "Finace then." Yes. Oh wait, do you not know? Haven't you figured it out? Dan and Amanda (who are the only ones still around) start grinning. I have pictures. "Wait, I've never seen pictures!" "Me neither!" quip in my two henchmen (head that is the wrong term!). SO I pull out my pictures. Scott didn't react, that I noticed at least, I was basking from someone commenting "Oh, Pretty!" Unfortunately, I don't recall who it was or I would cookie them next time mommy sends a care package. Then I start pulling out my other pictures, the school id's, driving permits.... Then they go on about my obsession, deciding that it is healthy because she feels the same way about me. Unlike a certain somone here who shall remain nameless who is stalking another somone who is not at all interested in her, and perhaps not in girls, and deifnately not anyone right now.

Stereotypes

Fule line on my bike is leaking, its 26 years old so I'm not really surprised. So after hours (literaly) of effort to taking the stubborn thing off the bike, we went to Pep Boys Melbourne for new line. After looking all over the store, I gave up and decided to ask where it was (I know that's not like me, but it was late...) So I and my coconspirators (Matt and Henry) approached the desk. I was holding the old line in my hand, Matt and Henry were just wandering wherever I led them. The guy lookes up, makes eye contact with me. I take a breath, and he ignores me and looks at the boys questioningly. "Um," he ignores it. "Where is fuel line?" He looks at me surprised. "Over in that box." "The one that says 'vaccum tubing?" "No, right over there," pointing to the box that says 'vaccume tubing'....... I don't think he really heard the question. I thought that sort of thing wasn't supposed to happen anymore?

Spring Break

Remeberies and Lessons Learned: Sitting in the backseat across I-10 telling Mike how big the hills were. Sleeping in a moving vehicle for the first time I can remember. Sleeping on Jenny no matter how many limbs fell asleep that way because I couldn't sleep otherwise. Stopping for gas and restrooms in Georgia and hearing a vioce decrying "He has the blood of millions of unborn infants on his hands!" and quickly leaving. Nikki's car only giving warning lights to me. Stopping to put more oil in and dripping some and Nikki's scared face asking about the puff of smoke in her engine. Eating at Cracker Barrel because Jenny likes fried okra even though company policy is to fire gays. Nikki's mom: "You must be Sara!" and a bug hug, and one bed for us without any prompting. Mike's sister's boyfriend getting so frustrated with us he exiled us to the bedroom for an hour. The dog then breaking in and being greeted with screams. Playing with Mike's niece. Getting my feet and hands rubbed by four people at the same time. The lack of surprise by all of Jenny's friends that I had come back with her. Driving in snow, on unfamiliar roads, with no snowbanks, in the dark, and the road disapearing in front of my face! Really good pasties coincidentally made by Mike's roommate's aunt and uncle. 26 hours from the middle of Florida to south Michegan. And another 48 or so from there to the UP (northern bit of MI). Laughing at the silly Harleys at the mall in Jackson. Nikki sleeping through three states and large portions of the rest. My mom not only not angry but just curious as to weather I had a ride home and enough warm clothes. The wonderful feel of a shower after 3 days in a car. The wonderful feel of being actually snuggled up to Jenny isntead of just imagining it. Not crying in the morning because Jenny wasn't really there like I do here. Mike and his roommate leaving silly messages all over. Going to Physics and getting the sylabus and feeling guilty when the prof asked if anyone had extras because they were only one short. Paying my enrollment deposit in cash in person. Eating out and Jenny getting a tiny bottle of maple syrup, pouring sugar in it, then sticking it in the car to crystalyze. Jenny being so exhausted by the time we got to Houghton and getting really (amusingly) giggly. Reading with Jenny foot to head in bed. Signing the lease for next year and putting down the deposit, spending $400 that day. Being all ready to leave Friday night, courage bolstered not to cry and the bus not coming. Waiting outside for over two hours with no hat or gloves. Being thankful of the extra night, not how it came about or the consequences of missing another day of classes. Looking aat the stars. Watching Tank Girl again. Taking the 1000 question purity test. Finally being warm at night. Crying into Jenny's blankie on the bus. A knife fight seen out the window in Indeanapolis. Sitting with a vocal Christian from Jacksonville to Melbourne. Going to SCA in drag and being asked when I'm going to come there for good. Being reassured many times that my shirt was not obscene then having Lawson tell me really should wear a bra with that (what a dork!). Going to Walmart. Reading everything on Jenny's computer.
But the most important thing, of course, was just spending as much time as possible with my Jenny, talking about nothing, being silly together, being serious together, cuddling, tickling, teasing, being so sweet Mike worries about his watch, having mass exitings of room we are in by friends, just being together. And this long time apart SUCKS! I got used to being with her and now I expect her there all the time and it hurts more than last time becasue I didn't get used to her again, like was happily surprised every time saw her, now I expect her here and it hurts, like at the start of the school year, but different, and I don't know if I can make it another 7 weeks... I know that sounds like no time at all and it isn't really, but the days just drag on!

Helmets

This is just my own personal rant on helmet usage. If you want to go kill yourself, go for it, I don't really care. I am not in charge of you. Don't look at me funny 'cause I want to stay alive though. Personally, my helmet makes me more visible (white with a crazy multicolored scheme on it, reflective bits, bigger area), keeps my head warm when it's cold, keeps the sun off my head then it's hot, protects me form the wind, makes me feel more safe and therefore lets me worry mre about the road, and keeps little bits of stuff from hurting me. I have not been biking long (Aug 98) but I have had rocks attack me, even thgouht I was not followling anyone closely. The ones that hit my shins sting a bit and go away. The ones that *thock* off my helmet.... well, if I had been bare-headed I would have another scar from that one.... I don;t presonally consider stupidity scars conversation pieces or anyhting to be proud of. I don't brag about my scar from running into a wall, and I don't want to have to explain "Yeah, that's when I was riding and a rock hit me...." Call me a wuss, but I don't really like bugs in my teeth. So I'll just hide on my bright white, fairing equiped bike, wearing a visually loud helmet, leather jacket, thick pants, full finger gloves, and boots. I ride carefully and pray no-one kills me, but if it happens, I want to live.

RA Encouragement

(For those that don't know, RA is Resident Assistant, bascially the big sister of the dorm hall.) So my RA notes that I've been looking down lately, I say no just sick. She asks how, I give short version, she say go to doctor, will not go away by self. I say thank you and go to bed. Jenny says might want to think about Dr. Henry says should see Dr. So next day I make appointment for day after. See RA later, she asks how feeling, I say not better but have doctor's appointment. "Good! Now just don't let them kill you over at that Helath Center."*
...

whimper

* I am not embellishing that quote one letter.

Question: if you were given a free can of Surge, what would you do with it? Send answers here: quizling@usa.net See what others think.

(I don't need to see "I'd drink it." Yeah, who cares if you'd drink it? I want creativity here. OMers, this is spontaneous. I want something origional what will tell people "I'm not a normal dork who does what society expect, I am my own person!")

Old stuff from this page