10:16am

Countdown to what, you ask? Well, the countdown to graduation (June 29th, which is also my dad's birthday)...to my 19th birthday (June 23rd, which is also the first day of exams)...to my last tournament as a YBC Bowler (June 4th, which is also a Sunday...i didn't know what else to put)

I checked my e-mail this morning, and I received an e-mail from a girl begging to know if Steph and I were still together, since it had been so long since I had written. Today, June 1st, 2000, is our 2-month anniversary. The brief breakup we had before is just that" a brief breakup. Steph and I agree that we have truly been together since April 1st, because even though we had broken up, all we thought about was each other. So Rachel, yes, I can happily say Steph and I are still togehter. Thank you for the e-mail.

Now, on a more bitter note (which is usually the tone for my entries anyway, isn't it?), I was given a 2-day suspension yesterday from school. Why? Well, allow me to explain it all to you so you can see how ridiculous this action was.

I walked into class late, and did my 'Aaaoooowww!' noise (those who know me well know the noise). This irritates my english teacher...like I care. So anyways, I put my books down, then walk back across the classto get my camera from my buddy. Oh, I forgot to mention that the class was watching a movie. Anyways, I get the camera, then as I'm walking back to my seat, I hit a desk that a guy is sleeping at. Some kids laugh. I didn't hear anything from the teacher. I sit down, and look at formal pictures, doing my 'Aaaaoooowww!' sound again. The teacher gets up and tells me to 'Get out!'. I asked why. 'I'm sick and tired of that noise. Get out!' I said NO!. Now, here's a little education for you kids. When you flat-out say no to a direct order from a teacher, that's a suspendable offense. She continues to tell me to get out, but I ignore her and look at pictures. She walks over and grabs my books, and I tell her not to touch my things and to put them down. She continues to argue, and I again tell her not to touch my things. She puts them down, and tells me how I have a bad attitude. So as I get up and leave, I sing 'You can't always get what you want', and I close the door...a little harder than usual. NO I didn't slam it, just closed it a little harder than usual. I go to the office, state my case, and a 2-day vacation.

Many people are wondering why I'm so upset. It's not the fact that I got suspended for the 2nd time in my high school career, both time because of that bitch Mrs. Carolyn MacDonald. It's the REASON I got suspended. My suspension was because I said NO...where the fuck is the logic here? How corrupt is the Education System that someone gets sent home because they say NO?! That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Of course you just KNOW that this means war. MacDonald has crossed me twice now, so it's time to pay her back. Somehow...someway, Mrs. MacDonald is going to regret the day she ever met me. Of course, I won't do anything extreme. But I'll certainly get the point across that I don't like her.

I mean, I was so upset yesterday, that I went for a walk with my mom and I was just crying. I felt so much hatred towards MacDonald, that I wanted to see her bleed. I know it's not good to feel that way about someone, but that didn't matter to me. I honestly wanted her to die. I know I'm going to Hell for all the bad things I want to happen. It's quite sad actually. But, that's the furthest thing from my mind. I'm just glad I have Steph. She was the one who cheered me up yesterday. She was the first one to get me to laugh. I love her so much. And at the same time I hate her, because I didn't wanna laugh dammit! I wanted to be bitter, and she wouldn't let me! That's why she's perfect for me.

My hand hurts. I guess I shouldn't have put a hole in the wall yesterday...

Sincerely Yours,