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| LoveCry, The Street Kids' Organization, 2001 |
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| LoveCry's News in partnership with The Toronto Street News! |
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"The Games We Play!"
BY ANGEL FEMIA
There has been a great deal of talk about Domestic Violance these days. People are actually killing each other in family homes,due to this abuse of each other as humans and partners in life. The frustration rises, fighting begins, then another horrid story appears on our nightly news station.
HUSBAND KILLS WIFE AND CHILD THEN COMMITTS SUICIDE! -or- MORE WOMEN ARE USING VIOLENCE AGAINST THEIR HUSBANDS THIS YEAR -or- A GUN WAS TAKEN TO SCHOOL BY A STUDANT AND SEVERAL CHILDREN ARE NOW DEAD!
Women and men abuse each other in many ways, but there is one way we all need to look at and change, if we want to get along and stop hurting each other and our children. Many of the social games, set down by our for-fathers and mothers, do more damage then good in today's society. Especially those related to dating,courting,and marriage.
I and many of my female friends, were taught to abuse men through sexuality and emotions. My brother, and his friends, were taught to abuse women emotionally, sexually, {and physically in some cases}. Of course, we were not taught that this behavour was abuse, {no one even knew what emotional abuse was back when these social games were dreamed up}, rather it was the normal and acceptable thing to do within our society and family structure. These types of head games,{snaring a mate for securiety reasons}, is called emotional abuse. Back when I was growing up, if a man forced his wife to have sex, it was classed as her responsibility to give him his demands. Now this same action is classed as rape.
First off, women are taught to snare and caputre a husband, {almost from birth. }. We are taught to use sexuality in forms of:
1. Mental tricks to caputre attention,{seduction},
2. Turn on in the way we are taught to dress,
3. Behave within the limites of what a women was in the eyes of men.
Most women are also trained to use our emotions against men to get what we want, {eg. say I wanted a new dress, I would just have to suck up to him and most times I would get it}. Using little girl games, charm and sympathy is emotional abuse. They do not really feel love for their intended victim or husband, the end result is usually for securiety reasons and love is being used, not done.
To this day, women do not admit that they play this game and many men, {who have experienced the hell, lonliness, and disapointment that comes from such a relationship,} are terrified of it. I have, several times met men who were terrified and believed I wanted them in a romantic way, to capture and posess them into taking care of me. Nothing could have been further from the truth, but the more respectful I was towards them, the more terrified they became.
Most men are taught to get themselves a good woman and keep her bare foot and pregnant, controled, in her place, and very busy.
1. Seduce her {using mental tricks}
2. Manipulate her emotions with promises, gifts and romance
3. Make her dependant
Of course our counterparts, would not tell themselves this truth, as it is a hidden formula that has been used since the beginning of time and if were not used would drastically changed a great deal. One other common male game is to promise women the world and all in it, promise to protect, act in the manner we would accept, wine, dine and romance, {seduce} and this all disapears as soon as any commitment is in place.
This manipulation causes wads of anger. This anger grows with every passing minute. Children enter into the situation. It's beautiful once again, until the real work begins then there is even more frustration and anger. The fight is on. The illusional love feelings, begin to loose it's hold on either or both parties. Desperation enters, as both can feel the other slipping away, and the physical abuse begins. It usually starts when one or the other party decides to leave the home during an argument. The one being left behind tries to stop the one who is leaving. Pulling and pushing beings and tempers rise. Suddenly, with out realisation a slap then a hit.
All of this is manipulation, head games {to control and posess,} and the emotions used are completely wasted. There is no love what so ever within these games. The heartache leaves us terrified to open up to a healthy love relationship.
Women have had to fight, in the past thirty years or more to brake free of this illusion men have had of us and bring this game to the attention of men, but many still do not care to see, understand and change. These very games, {between the sexes}, make up the primary reason the Women's Liberation Movement was started. I remember my father and mother fighting all night because mom had the nerve to get a job. This, braking of normal molds, made any abusive situation even worse then it already was, and created many more similar situations.
Today many men are beginning to realize that they have been also playing within illusion games set forth by our forefathers. They are opening up to the fact that, they want their feelings cared for too. The pressure to be what is expected, as opposed to what they should be {which is themselves}, is not healthy, and some of them want to change the perception and expectations women have placed upon them as well.
Many women and children are being physically abused these days, but the alarming realization, is that more men are being physically abused today then any time in the history of our species. This is mainly due to the games we play on and with each other. Only complete honesty and communication will stop this mess. We all need to come to an understanding that old perceptions and games are childish and out dated.
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| Please Help Stop Abuse! |
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| Love's Not A Sin! |
LoveCry/Toronto Street News First Eddition
December 2001 The Thunder Hostel
By Angel Femia
Are those whom are operating homeless facilities not abreast of the dangers of their own situations, or are they just turning a blind eye in order to rake in a good paycheck? Do they not realize that no one would be on the street just due to poverty issues? There truly is a great deal more to the story.
The Thunder Night Club was bought by Dixon Hall to be transformed into a hostel situation for men. This is placed directly within a community of solid family life. Young children that know nothing of homeless horrors, live, attend school and play in the parks of this neighborhood.
The community people are very upset and have good reason. We know that no neighborhood is without it's own problems, but we need to realize that our family communities need special care and wisdom used during any planning and placing of homeless or any special care facilities, such as men's shelters. You would not put a jail directly beside a elementary school, for very good reason. This same type of thinking needs to go into the planning of adult hostel or drop in situation. They need to be placed within communities where they can do the least amount or no harm to others.
There were many question asked at a community meeting last week. Are the Dixon Hall people able to truly answer them to the community's satisfaction?
Questions like:
1. Is the staff at this facility, going to make sure that these men do not drink Listerine and Cheep Wines in paper bags, in the parks or on Danforth Avenue itself?
2. Are these staff members going to make sure that the pimps and drug dealers do not accost the community folk?
3. Knowing the state of the mentality of the homeless, are our children and women safe on the street at all with this situation happening?
4. What kind of permanent help are these men actually getting.
5. Who is going to take the responsibility for a child or woman, from the community getting attacked, molested or worse if it does happen?
Just to put forth a few, and there were many more.
I believe that we need homeless shelters but, where we put them is ultimately important, as well as seeing to it, that they offer what these people truly need as well as shelter. In the past our shelters have offered merely shelter and bare necessities, which was good, when we had no real solutions to the problem, but now that we know so much more about the reasons for homelessness, the abuses that made the situation so huge, and we do have information, care therapy and guidance to help heal the damage done, we need to reconstruct them all.
"We have all learned by now, that if one is abused and does not get proper care, therapy and guidance to heal from that abuse they --- WILL --- re-abuse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This is the reason that many of our street people are continually in and out of jail for drugs, alcohol, violent offences and assault charges. Also it is the reason that many homeless people are referred to as crazy, insane, and disturbed. An abuse victim's reality, thinking patterns, and overall mental state is damaged severely due to the abuses endured. These problems must be attended to before any abuse victim can truly live within our family communities without hurting themselves and others.
In this light putting a Men's Hostel within a community of young children is completely ridiculous. Due to their emotional illnesses, these men could very well abuse some of the community children along with themselves as they are highly self destructive. As well as that, I am sure that families walking down Danforth Avenue together on a Sunday afternoon, do not wish to see a few hundred men staggering down the street, or sitting in the park drinking Listerine or cheep Wine from a bottle in a bag.
Yes children do need to learn about these things sometime during their lives, but not as young children and babies and not on an every day consistent level.
Question:
Do you believe we should just keep putting more band aids on our wounds {the homeless} or begin to use real solutions?
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Essays
Poetry
Up Dated's on Abuse and Homelessness
Up Dates on LoveCry's and The Toronto Street News's Progress!
I do my thing
and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to
live up to your
expectations and
you are not in this world
to live up to mine.
You are you and I am I,
and if by chance we find
each other
it's beautiful.
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LoveCry welcomes The Toronto Street News as our partner.
ATTENTION STREET PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!
Pleases support our Organizations:
MORNING DROP IN!
"STOP 103"
NEIGHBOURHOOD FOOD CENTRE!
1884 Davenport Rd.
Entrance at the back of building.
416-652-7867
Breakfast is served from 8a.m.-10a.m.
Light refreshments from 10a.m.-12a.m.
Mondays 8a.m.-12p.m.
Thursdays 8a.m.-12p.m.
Fridays 8a.m.-12p.m.
And much more!
LoveCry is the Street Peoples Own!
Sessions:
Street Kid's and Abuse Victims and Survivors
Need To Talk
With others sharing the same experiences?
Suicide Phone line-24/7
1-888-498-5221
Doors open from 10am. -1a.m.
Counselling, Therapy, Coffee, Basic Needs, Friends!
Group meetings begin: 10 p.m.
For the Weeks During the Christmas Season:
December 23, 2001 to January 1, 2001
Drop in open
Special events spontaniously provided
Christmas gifts
Candy
Food
Deserts
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