"LoveCry", Please Help Us Stop Abuse and Violence.

Abuse is the reason LoveCry was founded.

We would like help to stop abuse in our world. We know this is not something we will do in one lifetime but we must start if we ever wish to succeed.

"Denial" is the worst part of Abuse. Usually one party in a family will realize the problem and the others will lie to protect themselves and the family name. Doing this makes the Abuse continue into the next generation.

Before you Deny: picture your child or grandchild being molested, raped, beaten, and literally driven crazy by abuse!

With Denial happening, this is your families future.

"Please" help us all face and deal with Abuse!!!!!!

Street Dealers Are Only One Part Of Our Drug Problems In
Canada!

Street Drugs Are Only Part Of Our Drug Problem
Written By:
Angel Femia of LoveCry

More than enough people and our authorities believe drug abuse starts with street drugs and the only dealers on the streets deal addictive drugs.
Not True!
I know many people who have been badly addicted on drugs prescribed by our doctors. Never having gone to any dealer we found ourselves experiencing worse or same withdrawals as any person who dealt with street drugs.
The nasty part was we were not ever informed that these drugs were addictive. In fact we were told they were not.
I was introduced to substances at the age of 12 for depression, anxiety, and out of control emotions. All the medication I was taking was legally prescribed by my doctors, who at that time were looking for answers. None of
these answers were ever found and the substances got stronger and more plentiful.
This addiction lasted until I was 26. At that time I was taking on average up to 71 pills per day and there were 13 different prescriptions. All highly addictive and to this day our doctors are insisting that these meds are
not dangerous and that they do help.
NO THEY DON'T!!!!!
I have been clean now for 21 years and now have a degree in addiction counselling. In my opinion I feel prescribed addictions are one of the worst ever.
My doctors were sure these drugs were not addictive. They were fooled by the large drug companies because 15 years later I found myself addicted hard core to many different prescribed drugs given to me quite legally by my doctors who were desperately working to find a solution.
These drugs didn't help me in any way. In fact they made things much worse as I was unable to deal with my real problems, which were abuse issues and trauma, while I
was taking the drugs.

Abuse causes us to show signs and symptoms of many forms of mental illness such as: Paranoia, Many Different Phobias, Manic Depression and much more.
These illness are not chemically produced like someone who was born with them, but produced by the pent up emotions and traumas caused by abuses. No matter where or how these abuses occurred.
Please before taking any prescribed medication for depression, anxiety, or hyper activity, check for abuse. Prescribed drugs do NOT work on these problems they only cause addiction.
We Need Therapy!

" Love Is The True Healer"
"Truth, Responsibility, Forgivness"
by Angel Femia of LoveCry

I was born at St. Michael's Hospital in Toronto, in 1953. My name is Angel. The first five years of my life were spent in Cabbagetown, a community in the downtown section of Toronto. At that time it was one of the largest slums in our country
We were poor. My Dad lived in a group home for boy's, {Clifton House},before marrying Mom. He had to leave
home at a very early age, as my Grandfather was brutally abusive.
Mom also ran away from a very abusive Father. She was raised in Cornwall, Ontario, a small city near the Quebec
Border.
My parents wanted a boy,and when I was born, they were very disappointed. No matter how I tried, I just didn't fit in.
The first few years of my life they tried to hide their disappointment, but I could feel it, and was constantly asking them, why they didn't love me. Of course they denied it, but after Keith, my brother was born, in 1956, Mom began to say things to me, and treat me in ways, that showed me I was right. She hurt me from my head to my heart and
soul. I also have two sisters, Sherry and Christine, whom were again treated with much more love.
Living in Cabbagetown, wasn't the greatest introduction to the world, but the people there knew how to care for one
another. The community was tight knit, as we had nothing but each other. We lived with love, determination and
willpower, as we had only enough cash to barly survive, sometimes.
When I was five, we moved to Whitby, Ontario, a small town just east of Toronto. I didn't want to go. I remember
my heart breaking, when Mom and Dad took us to show us our new home. Nice house, but something felt strange to
me. It didn't feel like home. Somehow the love seemed to die when we moved.
I didn't think the same of my new neighbors, and I made very few friends. Most people made fun of me because I'd
talk about things like honesty and love. It seemed to me that Whitby lacked love. The neighbors even mounted a
petition to remove a new black family from the neighbourhood. They had done nothing wrong. The ones I
approached for friendship, in Whitby, would laugh at me, tease me, and play nasty pranks on me. I was very trusting,
and these people would use my trusting nature against me. Sometines the pain from this degradation made me feel
like I wanted to die.
I didn't really want to die, I figured dying was the only way to end the awful pain I lived with every day. I endured
many types of abuse. I found myself fighting daily just to stay alive, and the toughest thing to fight was myself.
I hated myself. Never truly being accepted by my family, or the people in town, left me painfully lonely. I was starved
for human companionship and acceptance. The pain was deep and malignant. Suicide became a regular game for me.I wanted to be with God, as I believed the pain would then end.
Each time I tried to kill myself, God stepped in. When I finally realized God would not let me die I became very
close to him. I would speak to God, instead of people. Everyone believed I was crazy. Even the priest at our Church
believed I was strange, as I would talk to God, as if he were in the room with me. To me he was and still is.
Later I became a believer that each of us are lead through experiences, during our lives in order to learn, grow,and honour our commitment to life's creative forces. Each time I was dragged through another abuse, I asked God to show me the reason he wanted me to survive it. God was always there to help me find the jewels, at the bottom of whatever hell pit I was thrown into. He also provided a ladder to climb back out again.
In doing so, I found that in order to find any true healing from abuse, we must:
first:
Find the Truth:
second:
Take Responibliliy for ourselves and our lives;
third:
Forgive our abusers and ourselves.

By Truth, I mean we must find our way, through a dishonest world, back to the truth in everything. Leaving all
hangups, and mis-conceptions learned along the way behind.
We must completly face ourselves as human beings.

We need to learn to see ourselves in totality, both good and evil, positive and negative, beauty and beast. When
we truly learn to know ourselves we will see clearly, that we are in equal portion of both.

It is our responsibility to learn to know ourselves, and the world we live in,in order to harness and dicipline both
traits. We must realize that even a broken promise is a lie, and that lies cause great psychic/emotional damage. We
must become as honest as we were at birth. We come to realize that once we have left the abusive situation, we are
completly responsible, for ourselves. In no way can we blame our abuse for what happens to us from that point.[our
abuse can only be referred to as to why we are in such an emotional or pshycic mess}. We need to do our very best
to take control of all that happens to us for the remainder of our lives. It is up to us to stay out of abusive situations, get proper therapy {spiritual, psychological, physical}, medical attention and education, as well as deal with the emotional scars, that have been caused by these traumas. We have to take total responsiblily for ourselves and our healing, in order not to become abusers ourselves.
Finally we must learn to forgive, our abusers, ourselves, and the world in which we live. Without forgivness we will
repeat our abuses. It has been found that when we stay within resentment, we become the venger. We hold onto the
pain from our abuse and lash out at others with it. Forgivness alliviates much of the pain and that allows us to grow and love. We can heal, learn to stop abusing and learn how to love. My belief is, if we learn to deal with the pains of life properly, we learn to love and that love grows along with wisdom, as we shed our resentments.
If we allow ourselves to become resentful and refuse to learn, we have nothing left but hate. After all resentment is hate.
Love is the true healer.

Illegal or Legal Drugs,
Which Are Worse?
By Angel Femia of LoveCry

Becoming addicted in our society is one of the easiest thing we can do. We
can obtain drugs
almost anywhere from someone. If not our dealers, our doctors or friends.
Somehow they are
always in our reach.
I spent many years addicted to substances and watched many of my friends go
through these horrid
experiences that drugs take us into.
One of my closest friends and I found, there truly are not that many
differences between the pains of being
addicted to prescribed drugs and street drugs.

My friend was addicted to crack. In no time she aged 20 years, almost as
though she had
never been the beautiful young person I new for so long. Crack as you know
is a street drug.
Around the same time I was addicted to codeine, a legally prescribed drug.
This drug is one of the most well known pain medicines used in our society
today.
In no time, being addicted to this drug, my body was almost lifeless, and I
looked older then
50, though I was barley 25.
Most of the time I had a very hard time getting my eyes to focus on
anything, let alone what was
right in front of me. I would go places, be sitting having coffee, and not
remember how or when I
got there. I would say things to people and have arguments with them and not
even remember the
time at all.
Many times I was stopped while driving my car by the police, given tickets,
taken home and wake
up the next morning not knowing the situation ever happened. One time I even
drove my car into a
swamp, fell asleep and woke up the next day covered in mud, with no idea of
how I got there.
My friend, who was doing crack was waking up in strangers beds, beaten, cut
and bruised at times.
Her addiction was a little wilder as crack does not have the sedatives in it
that codeine does,
and it is a street drug as apposed to prescribed meds. Once she was found in
a barn, nude with
cuts all over her body and a broken arm, 50 miles from home.
My body was going through hell and I was emotionally outraged most of the
time. With the shakes
shattering my balance, still feeling the pain that the codeine was surpos-to
be numbing,I would
just take more. I could not think clearly and was an emotional freak.
Other then that I was dead and didn't want to lay down.
According to my friend her body was experiencing the same,except some of the
time her hyper ness would kick in {as apposed to the sluggishness I was
experiencing} and her mind was a total mess. She
could not count the times she had been raped, horridly beaten and left for
dead.
The major difference was due to the sedatives in the prescribed drugs, I was
sluggish and
dragging my ass, while my friend was hyper and living on raw nerve.
Codeine and crack are worse on our bodies then any drug I know of. They are
both highly
addict able substances and the chemicals literally sink into the tissue of
our bodies and organs
causing them to screw up completely. Crack is what I call the street equal
to codeine. Both drugs
create the same evil head space or thought patterns, as well.
Once addicted to codeine or crack one has no morals, ethics, decision making
processes, are
unable to distinguish right from wrong, and most horridly, no conscience.
The longer these drugs are taken, the more negative the personality the
addict displays such as:
verbal diarrhea, cold heartedness, demanding attitudes, violent outbursts,
lustful actions,
selfishness, and resentful, hateful displays.
Both these drugs are deadly. The only real differences are one is obtained
on the streets and
one in a doctors office, one is smoked and one is swallowed, one is legal
and one is illegal.
Still both are way too easy to obtain, and not so easy to shake.

"Who Is Real and Who The Imposter?"
by Angel Femia of LoveCry

As I reach out to people I am constantly being asked how one sees the difference
between a true Spiritual Healer or Leader and an imitation one.
Many people have been taken in by imposters and are now frightened to reach out
again. I have herd horror stories around spiritual and religious leaders taking
advantage of the trust given to them by everyday people. These situations are
happening in all forms of religion.
Below are some warnings sings and things to look out for as well as do when
talking to anyone especially one whom you may or may not give your trust to.
This will help you see the difference, help you to avoid imposters , also
hopefully restore your belief in an imperfect world in some way , to a point
where you may someday realize there is good among the bad.

1. Listen closely and remember the conversation.
2.Watch for: All Head Games: sex game, charm game, brainwashing games, ego
games, extra wordings.
If your head gets foggy, spaced out or confused, this usually means someone is
in y our head or trying to get into your head.
3. Traces of ego: depending on how high spiritually, the people you are dealing
with are, will dictate on whether there should be any traces of ego or not. A
high ranking person should be humble but confident
4. Black thin line around facial features and edges of the physical body, giddy
sinister happiness. Even people who seem very innocent have thin black lines
around their bodies and this means total manipulation even through their eyes
and actions may be screaming purity and they may give off a real high. "BEWARE!"

"Honesty & Loyalty?"
by Angel Femia of LoveCry

Both parties are needy. Both are living illusions, both are co-dependant and
both are controlling.
In our society we play games to be with someone. No guts! These games did work
in earlier years and many marriages thrived because people were much more
honest, loyal, respected others feelings, and were not so quick to throw people
away. We had values and cared more for ourselves and our fellow man.People then,
knew that being alone was not natural.
Seems that today all we think of is what we want. This is definitely not natural
for any of God's creatures.
Today people romance each other, get close by distorting truths to ones pasts
with illusions, pretend to care until success has been obtained or one or the
other party does or says something the other did not like. No Guts!
I find that our self-centeredness has taken over and many of my generation are
finding themselves alone, scared and hurt.
Now when the same romance game, that worked well for our forefathers, is played,
the rules have been changed. It is no longer played to find a mate, but rather a
perfect specimen. Nor be loyal to each other and build a family but rather to
use each other and get what we want, then dump each other, unless by some major
miracle this perfect human is found.{hahah} This has devastating emotional
reactions and the results sometimes are deadly, depending on the emotional state
of the players.
It begins with seduction. The inner most sacred of our emotions are being played
with here. The most intimate part of our mind is being activated during any
romantic or sexual seduction. This causes both parties to believe that the
ecstasy created is due to falling in love. They then get close. talk, share life
experiences and bask in the ecstasy.
This is fine for a time and the emotions grow as they are now out of control.
All of a sudden this illusion begins to disintegrate. The ecstatic feelings
lessen, and the two parties start to get to know each others" faults or the
results wanted are not being obtained fast enough. The stronger of the
co-dependence decides to walk or kick the other out. The weaker falls into a
world of pain and shattered dreams.
Now the worst of the scenario begins. Of course one wants to go and one wants to
stay. Or at least that's how it looks to anyone watching. The truth is neither
wants to be there or leave.
We will refer to the one who wants to go now as being in denial and the one that
wants to stay as being obsessed. Denial feels all the same emotions but denies
feeling anything, and turns all their pain into anger. The obsessed admits their
emotions and becomes emotionally out of control. The chase is on.
Now every so often denial's anger turns back into pain so they begin to desire
and become obsessed to contac.Obsessed feels these emotional pulls and in pure
desperation answers these pulls through phone or stalking. Upon contact denial
rejects obsessed which only makes obsessed more and more desperate. Suddenly
obsessed begins to turn their anger back into pain. Now they have switched
places. {This can happen many times.}
The length of the game varies, during which the emotional breakdown, physical
breakdown and far too often suicide. People it's time to find a better way to
romance each other. Maybe some honesty and loyalty would help. What do you
think?

Saying Goodbye!
by Anagel Femia of Lovecry

Last week my mother Shirley M. Baker-Femia passed away. It was one of the more painfull experiences I have endured. Our relationship was abusive, but hte strength of our love overtook any anger, or mistrust we had been holding.
For this past month or more I have spent countless hours at mom's bedside, comforting her through this exit from our world.
Many thoughts and memories trickled through my mind as sadness was a never ending theme causing tears to fall at random.
One of the most prominent memories was the way Mom helped all Canadians,and people across the world, especially women and the printed media. Mom was one of the stronges women I have ever known. Through her strength mom led the first and longest newspaper strike in the history of Canada and the world. The Oshawa Times Newspaper Strike lasted for a year and was the first major media walkout ever headed by any woman. Her actions chanaged our work force in this country. This had a trickle effect accros the entire world. Mom was the first female union president voted into office in Canada. Along with this major chanages were made to: our Canada Pention Plan as the payments out were raised considerably, women were included for the first time, pregnancy leave with pay was implimanted, our basic wage was raised, and many doors were opened for women in the work place as well as strengthening the common male position in our work place.
In mom's memory, while my sisters, brother and grandchildren stayed by her bedside consoling her, I wrote this poem:

Borne defencless, helpless and innocent,
Natural death is similar,
Watching you leave today mom,
I see the Child,
Instead of the woman,
But you've been no child for decades,
Yet your child shines through,
Desperation and pain,
Limp responces to each familiar voice,
But still a small response,
Towards a feeling of love,
Naturally like an innocent,
Weak and frail, slow and shaky,
You reach for that love and touch with peace,
Then you fade into relaxation,
As your head rests on the pillow,
Untilll the next familiar voice,
Caring touch or pangs of pain,
Make themselves present,
Once again, slow movement,
Towards the last dabbles of energy,
You gasp to to hold lightly and say goodbye.

The point here is to say that love and forgivness towards one another can and does heal the worst damages of abuse. Mom and I say and believed this. With all our issues, arguments, abuses and pain we managed to forgive and loved one another to the end.
Please think about this and heal you family!

"Who Is Real and Who The Imposter?"
by Angel Femia of LoveCry

As I reach out to people I am constantly being asked how one sees the difference between a true Spiritual Healer or Leader and an imitation one.
Many people have been taken in by imposters and are now frightened to reach out again. I have herd horror stories around spiritual and religious leaders taking advantage of the trust given to them by everyday people. These situations are happening in all forms of religion.
Below are some warnings sings and things to look out for as well as do when talking to anyone especially one whom you may or may not give your trust to. This will help you see the difference, help you to avoid imposters , also hopefully restore your belief in an imperfect world in some way , to a point where you may someday realize there is good among the bad.

1. Listen closely and remember the conversation.
2.Watch for: All Head Games: sex game, charm game, brainwashing games, ego games, extra wordings.
If your head gets foggy, spaced out or confused, this usually means someone is in y our head or trying to get into your head.
3. Traces of ego: depending on how high spiritually, the people you are dealing with are, will dictate on whether there should be any traces of ego or not. A high ranking person should be humble but confident
4. Black thin line around facial features and edges of the physical body, giddy sinister happiness. Even people who seem very innocent have thin black lines around their bodies and this means total manipulation even through their eyes and actions may be screaming purity and they may give off a real high. "BEWARE!"

"Honesty & Loyalty?"
by Angel Femia of LoveCry

Both parties are needy. Both are living illusions, both are co-dependant and both are controlling.
In our society we play games to be with someone. No guts! These games did work in earlier years and many marriages thrived because people were much more honest, loyal, respected others feelings, and were not so quick to throw people away. We had values and cared more for ourselves and our fellow man.People then, knew that being alone was not natural.
Seems that today all we think of is what we want. This is definitely not natural for any of God's creatures.
Today people romance each other, get close by distorting truths to ones pasts with illusions, pretend to care until success has been obtained or one or the other party does or says something the other did not like. No Guts!
I find that our self-centeredness has taken over and many of my generation are finding themselves alone, scared and hurt.
Now when the same romance game, that worked well for our forefathers, is played, the rules have been changed. It is no longer played to find a mate, but rather a perfect specimen. Nor be loyal to each other and build a family but rather to use each other and get what we want, then dump each other, unless by some major miracle this perfect human is found.{hahah} This has devastating emotional reactions and the results sometimes are deadly, depending on the emotional state of the players.
It begins with seduction. The inner most sacred of our emotions are being played with here. The most intimate part of our mind is being activated during any romantic or sexual seduction. This causes both parties to believe that the ecstasy created is due to falling in love. They then get close. talk, share life experiences and bask in the ecstasy.
This is fine for a time and the emotions grow as they are now out of control. All of a sudden this illusion begins to disintegrate. The ecstatic feelings lessen, and the two parties start to get to know each others" faults or the results wanted are not being obtained fast enough. The stronger of the co-dependence decides to walk or kick the other out. The weaker falls into a world of pain and shattered dreams.
Now the worst of the scenario begins. Of course one wants to go and one wants to stay. Or at least that's how it looks to anyone watching. The truth is neither wants to be there or leave.
We will refer to the one who wants to go now as being in denial and the one that wants to stay as being obsessed. Denial feels all the same emotions but denies feeling anything, and turns all their pain into anger. The obsessed admits their emotions and becomes emotionally out of control. The chase is on.
Now every so often denial's anger turns back into pain so they begin to desire and become obsessed to contac.Obsessed feels these emotional pulls and in pure desperation answers these pulls through phone or stalking. Upon contact denial rejects obsessed which only makes obsessed more and more desperate. Suddenly obsessed begins to turn their anger back into pain. Now they have switched places. {This can happen many times.}
The length of the game varies, during which the emotional breakdown, physical breakdown and far too often suicide. People it's time to find a better way to romance each other. Maybe some honesty and loyalty would help. What do you think?