Maria's Story Continued 12

When I was unemployed for fourteen months fortunately my husband was working so although it was a struggle we were not as bad as a lot of people who had both out of work and you always find a way to manage. My husband was made redundant 12 years ago but I was working it was very hard times but we managed. My husband was on the dole for a couple of weeks but he got down and depressed and he went to Trent College now Trent University and did a four year teacher training course and he gained a 2.1 honours degree in education it took a lot of hard work and discipline and dedication for him throughout the four years. He came out after four years and he gained a position in a junior school in our local town serving his probationary year but we got round to Easter and he decided he just could not do it anymore so we were back to square one and he is a slightly built man and he did look not well with it all and was losing weight which he could ill afford to do. My husband could not bring himself to tell me as he felt he was letting me down not wanting to carry on teaching. He felt that I had supported him during his four years while he was at college but as I explained to him is that not what marriage is all about giving on both sides as he had supported me when I was out of work. The trouble with my husband was he put to much pressure on himself as during teaching he would be up to two three in the morning preparing lessons and marking books etc. He went AWOL and I only found out when I came back to the house for my lunch and there was a knock on the front door it was a policeman and he asked to speak to my husband because the headmaster from the school had contacted them because he was concerned as he had not turned up for work and this was most unusual. I told the policeman as far as I knew my husband had left for work as normal and I did not know anything else. I was in a state of shock to say the least. I phoned my boss and explained that I would be back at work as soon as I could. I contacted the family in Scotland to see if he had gone there but they had not seen him I was beside myself with worry. I did not know what to do next. I went back to work later in the afternoon and I explained what had happened but fortunately I had an understanding boss and he talked things through with me he was a pure gentleman. I could not file him as a missing person for three days and then I did as I had not heard anything and of coarse I had to explain to my daughter what had happened she was as shocked as I was. His picture was flashed on TV local news but brought no response. I received a phone call a few days later from the police in Essex who had picked him up and where talking to him they had found him at the side of a lay by in his car. When I spoke to him he was crying and apologising over and over again. I told him it did not matter only that he was safe and he was coming back home and that life was to short to be like this. The policeman was lovely he chatted to me and he said he would drive back following him so much of the way. I will say a big thank you to him because who knows if this lovely policeman who talked to him and persuaded him to speak to me he may not be here today. When I saw him I was shocked about the state of his appearance it was not the husband I knew and he was in a terrible state unshaved and he looked really rough he had been through a terrible time. I explained to him that nothing was worth this and to pack in the teaching we would manage and I was sure he would find another job. I did tell him that after so many years of marriage why did he feel he could not come and talk to me about how he was feeling and that is when he told me he felt he would be letting me down because of the support I had given him during the four years he had spent at college but is that not what marriage is all about giving and taking on both sides.

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