Maria's Story Continued 13

When my daughter was 17 she went to work down South in Harlow as a waitress and she lived in. She met a young man called Duncan and they became engaged. I and my husband had never met him until she phoned me to tell me they were engaged and coming up for the weekend. I welcomed them with open arms but I did have reservations about Duncan and over a period of time I was proved right as my daughter became pregnant and the relationship became very violent. When my daughter gave up work she came home to live with me and also Duncan lived with us. My husband and I helped in every way we could and my daughter had three beautiful children two boys and one girl. They eventually acquired a place of their own I used to dread the frantic phone calls when he had lashed out at her and on several occasions we had to have the police help to get the children out to come home and live with us going back wards and for wards to collect their clothes while he a single man was staying in the house because the police said he had nowhere else to go. It was because we were local that my daughter and the children came back with us. My husband and I could not understand the logic of the police as there were three children involved. The children's safety was our prime concern. I told my daughter that she was old enough to sort out their problems but I was always here to give her support if she needed me but the children is what was important and that did she want them growing up in such violence so my daughter and the three children came back with us to my home and stayed there until Duncan went from the house. We did have a lot of problems with the older boy as he had seen a lot of what had gone on he also idolised his father.

When he had gone down to London somewhere my daughter and the children all went back home and the older boy was very hurt because his dad was no longer at home. In fact my daughter asked for my advice as the older lad had a photograph of his mum and dad under his pillow and she wanted to know how to handle this particular situation so I explained that I thought it was his way of handling the situation for him and whatever not to remove this photo he would move it when he was ready and he did eventually do this. It probably brought him some comfort in some way I don't know but I did explain that she would need to be more understanding and patient with him as it was a very difficult time for him to get over. We had problems with Duncan coming to our house begging me to speak with my daughter and pleading with me to persuade her to go back to him which I refused to do yes it was very tough and he refused to leave my house so I had no alternative but to contact the police who took their time in coming by which time he decided to go as I warned him I had called the police also this all had an upsetting effect on the children when they seen him as they automatically assumed he was coming back home with them so a very disturbing time for all it was an upsetting time for the children myself and my husband and of course my daughter.

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