A DARK and STORMY NIGHT

 

They were together in the House. Just the two of them.

 

It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.

 

She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance...and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her from the storm. She wanted that...more than anything.

 

Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out... She screamed...

He raced to the sofa where she was cowering. He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms. He knew this was a forbidden union and expected her to pull back. He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.

 

The storm raged on...as did their growing passion. And there came a moment when each knew that they had to be together.

 

They knew it was wrong...Their families would never understand... So consumed were they in their passion that they heard no opening of doors...just the faint click of a camera......

 

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OBLIGATORY OFFICE EQUIPMENT (OOE)

"Keep On Smiling"

Another sensational idea for office equipment !

 

- Workload getting to you ?

- Feeling stressed ?

- Too many initiatives "cascading" down ?

 

Here is the new low cost way to cope !

Enjoy your day.

 

This obligatory office equipment will help you to reach the end of the day with a smile on your face !

 

(Selected by LL - TLW)

 

 

GOOD STORY

 

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and  so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister.   

 

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.  She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered  to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.  She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.  Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a  word.

 

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."  I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.  When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. 

 

I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lord and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping !  With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said "We are very happy that you have passed our little test .. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to

the family."

 

 

And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car  .. .. ..

 

 

(Brought to you by DUONG LIEU-TLW)

 

 

THE SENATOR ..

 

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and  dies. His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in,  it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, so you see we're not quite sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the senator.

"Well, I'd like to, but I  have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend your eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,"  says the senator.

St. Peter is adamant. "I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

 

And with  that, St. Peter escorts the senator to the elevator and he goes down, down, down  to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it  are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with  him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet  him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the common people.

They play a  friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy and who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such  a good time that before the departed senator realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives the senator a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises ..

 

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time for you to visit heaven." says St. Peter.

So, 24 hours pass with the Senator joining a group  of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The senator reflects  for a minute, then he answers:  "Well, I would never have said it  before, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off  in Hell."

 

So St. Peter escorts the senator to the elevator and back he goes - down, down, down to Hell.

Now the doors of  the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with  waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The Devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand", stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was  here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened ?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says,  

"Yesterday we were campaigning .. Today you voted".

 

(Brought to you by Mr. Sugar-TLW)

 

Mr

Mr SuGar_._,_.___

 

COWBOY BOOTS

 

An elderly couple are on holiday in the United States.

 

Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing a pair on sale one day, he buys them and wears them right out of the store, walking proudly. He walks into their hotel room and says to his wife: "Notice anything different, Bessie ?" Bessie looks him over, "Nope." Sam says excitedly, "Come on, Bessie, take a good look .. Notice anything different about me ?"

 

Bessie looks again, "Nope."

 

Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots.

 

Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT ?"

 

Bessie looks up and says, "Sam, what's different ? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and the thing will be hanging down again tomorrow."

 

Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY THE SON-OF-A-BITCH IS HANGING DOWN, BESSIE ? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS !!!!" ......

 

To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam. .. .. Shoulda bought a hat .. .. .. .."

 

(Selected by H4C - TLW)