One day an
employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary !!!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need
$ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding the need$ of
u$. We are worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice
to your company ..
I am $ure you will gue$$
what I meant and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
The next day,
the employee received this letter of reply:
Dear ..
I kNOw you have been working very
hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our
company is NOt doing NOticably well . NOw the newspapers are saying the world's
leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther
recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad. I
have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean .
Your Boss.
(Selected by DAO PHAY)
A
SENIOR moment !
Several days ago
as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat
down.I was looking for my keys.They were not in my pockets.A quick search in the meeting room revealed
nothing.Suddenly I realized, I must
have left them in the car.Frantically I
headed for the parking lot.My wife,
Diane, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.My theory is the ignition is the best place
not to lose them.Her theory is that the
car will be stolen.As I burst through
the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion.Her theory was right.The parking lot was empty.I immediately call the police.I gave them my location, confessed that I had
left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the
most difficult call of all, "Honey", I stammered.I always call her "honey" in times
like these."I left my keys in the
car, and it has been stolen".
There was a
period of silence.I thought the call
had been dropped, but then I heard Diane's voice, "Ken", she barked,
"I dropped you off !"
Now it was my
time to be silent.Embarrassed, I said, "Well,
come and get me".
Diane retorted, "I
will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car !"
(Selected
by DAO PHAY)
Perfect
Joke !
A mainland
Chinese man married an African woman and had a child.
Two months later
the child passed away.
At the funeral
house , a family member of the African woman kept sobbing and crying, and kept
saying:
I JUST KNEW IT !!
So a family
elder pulled her aside and discreetly asked her 'what she knew?'
She replied "Chinese products don't last" !!!!
(Brought to you by DUONG LIEU)
GOD'S Wife ???
An eye witness account from New
YorkCity , on a cold day in December, some years ago:
A little boy, about 10-years-old,
was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through
the window, and shivering with cold.
A lady approached the young boy and
said,
- 'My, but you're in such deep
thought staring in that window!'
- 'I was asking God to give me a
pair of shoes, 'was the boy's reply.
The lady took him by the hand, went into
the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy.
She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly
brought them to her.
She took the little fellow to the
back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little
feet, and dried them with the towel.
By this time, the clerk had
returned with the socks .. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased
him a pair of shoes ..
She tied up the remaining pairs
of socks and gave them to him .. She patted him on the head and said, 'No
doubt, you will be more comfortable now.'
As she turned to go, the
astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears
in his eyes, asked her.
- 'Are you God's wife?'
LEO BUSCAGLIA
(Selected by DP-Canada)
TWO DRUNK OLD MEN
Two old men decide they are close to their last
days and decide to have a last night on the town. After a few drinks, they end
up at the local brothel
The madam takes one look at the two old geezers
and whispers to her manager, "Go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two
are so old and drunk, I'm not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know
the difference."
The manager does as he is told and the two old
men go upstairs and take care of their business.
As they are walking home the first man says:
"You know, I think my girl was dead!"
"Dead?" says his friend, "Why do you
say that?"
"Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I
was loving her." his friend says, "Could be worse I think mine
was a witch."
"A witch ??. . Why the hell would you say that?"
"Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the
neck, and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window
..... took my
teeth with her!"
(Brought it to
you by DAO PHAY-TaoLaoWan)
IS
MAN OUTSIDEORINSIDE WOMEN ???
Believe it or not.
Woman
has Man in it
Mrs.
has Mr . in it;
Female
has Male in it;
She
has He in it;
Madam
has Adam in it;
No wonder
men always want to be inside women!
Men were born between the legs of a
woman,
yet men spend all their life and time
trying to go back between the legs of a woman ....
Why?
BECAUSE
THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME
(Selected
by Merci Mondieu, Dương Liễu
brought it to you)
Discrimination
A Vietnamese goes to a
Woolworths grocery store in Australia . He finds cat food at special prices. He
picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out.
The Manager gets
suspicious. He thinks that this guy might not have a cat and will probably feed
cat food to his kids. He asks the Vietnamese to show him his cat before he
could let him have cat food. The Vietnamese goes home and returns with a cat
and gets to buy the cat food.
Next week the Vietnamese
finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to
check out. The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy may have
a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog-food to his kids.
He asks the Vietnamese to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have
dog food. TheVietnamese goes home
and returns with a dog. He gets to buy he dog food.
The following week the
Vietnamese comes to Woolworths with a bag. He asks the manager to put his hand
in the bag ... The Manager puts his hand in the bag, feels some thing slimy and
immediately pulls it out. He shouts at the Vietnamese,
- "What the hell!
This is shit, you idiot!"
The Vietnamese calmly
replies, - "Yes, now may I buy some toilet paper?"
(Brought to you by QUAN TRAN + DUONG LIEU)
(From DOANH DOANH)
BLONDE'S
DIARY ON A CRUISE SHIP
DEAR DIARY: DAY 1
All packed for the cruise ship - all my sexiest
dresses and make-up... Really excited.
DEAR DIARY: DAY 2
Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and
dolphins. Met the Captain today - seems a very nice man.
DEAR DIARY: DAY 3
At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding
and hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table
for dinner. Felt honoured and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and
attentive.
DEAR DIARY: DAY 4
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked
me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a luxurious meal complete with
caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.
DEAR DIARY: DAY 5
Pool again today, got sun burnt, and went inside
to drink at piano bar for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large
drinks. He really is charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night.
Again I declined. He told me if I did not let
him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was
shocked.
