A time comes in your life when you finally get it . . . When in the midst of
all your fears and
insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the
voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and
crying or
struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind
tantrum,your sobs begin to subside, you
shudder once or twice, you blink
back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the
world through
new eyes. This is your awakening.
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to
change
or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next
horizon.You come to terms with the fact that he is
not Prince Charming and
you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always
fairytale endings (or
beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee
of"happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense
of
serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will
always
love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are . . . and that's
OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.)
And you learn the
importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of
new found confidence is
born of self-approval.You stop complaining and
blaming other people for the things they did to you(or didn't do for you)
and
you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they
mean or mean what they say
and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always
about you. So,
you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself
and in the process a sense of safety & security is born
of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they
are and to overlook
their shortcomings and human frailties and in the
process a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.You
realize
that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a
result of all the messages and opinions
that have been ingrained into your
psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how
you
should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what
you should wear and where you should shop and what
you should drive, how and
where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should
marry and what you
should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and
raising children or what you owe your parents.
You learn
to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you
begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you
really stand
for.You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to
discard the doctrines and values
you've outgrown, or should never have
bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your
instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that
there is power and glory in creating and contributing and
you stop
maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
Your learn that principles such
as honesty and integrity are not the
outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the
foundation
upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the
world
and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish
between guilt and responsibility and the importance of
setting boundaries
and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you
choose to carry and
that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how
much
to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn
not to project your needs or your feelings onto a
relationship. You learn
that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or
important because of
the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not
as you would
have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.You
learn that just as people
grow and change so it is with love . . . and you
learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms just
to
make you happy.
And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely . . . And you look in the
mirror and come to
terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a
perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside
your head
and agonizing over how you "stack up." You also stop working so hard at
putting your feelings aside, smoothing
things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK ... and that it is
your
right to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that
sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You
come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with
love,kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle
for less. And,
you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with
his touch . . . and in the
process you internalize the meaning of
self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you
begin to care of
it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking
more water and taking more
time to exercise. You learn that fatigue
diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time
to
rest.
And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more
time to laugh and to play. You
learn, that for the most part, in life you
get what you believe you deserve . . . and that much of life truly is a
self-fulfilling
prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that
wishing for something to happen
is different from working toward making it
happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success
you need
direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it
all alone and that it's OK to
risk asking for help. You learn that the only
thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time. FEAR
itself.
You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know
that whatever happens you can handle it and to give
in to fear is to give
away the right to live life on your terms.
And you learn to fight for your life and not to
squander it living under a
cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't
always get what
you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen
to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not
to
personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to
answer your prayers. It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with
evil in its most primal state -- the ego. You learn that negative feelings
such as anger,
envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they
will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe
that surrounds
you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of
walls. You learn to be thankful
and to take comfort in many of the simple
things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth
can
only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm
bed,a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin
to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you
make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever
settle
for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your
window so you can listen to the wind.
And you make it a point to keep
smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally,
with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a
stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the
life you want to
as best as you can.
- Unknown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maybe God Wants
Maybe God wants us to meet a few
wrong people before meeting the
right one so that when we finally
meet the right person, we will know
how to be grateful for that gift.
When the door of happiness closes,
another opens, but often times we look
so long at the closed door that we don’t
see the one which has been opened for us.
The best kind of friend is the kind you can
sit on a porch swing with, never say a word,
and then walk away feeling like it was the best
conversation you’ve ever had.
It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got
until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t
know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.
Don’t go for looks; they can deceive.
Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile
Because it takes only a smile to make a dark
day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow
to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.
Always put yourself in others’ shoes.
If you feel that it hurts you,
it probably hurts the other person too.
The happiest of people don’t necessarily have
the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything that
comes along their way.
When you were born, you were crying and
everyone around you were smiling.
Live your life so that when you die,
you’re the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.
~~Unknown~~
