The Bible - Endsville Style

This book was written by the Prophet Hababkkuk about whom not much is known. I am starting bass-ackwards with the third chapter as it is a psalm and the other chapters are all dialogues of divine enlightenment. This book is also closely related to the  book of Avafuck in the Holy Scriptures of the Cult of the Horizontal Worshippers.

The Book of Habakkuk

Chapter 3

" A prayer of Habakkuk"

A prayer of Habakkuk the prophet upon Shigionoth. 2. O Lord,  I have heard thy speech, and was afraid: O Lord, revive thy work in the midst of the years, in the midst of the years make known; in wrath remember mercy.

Means that like Habakkuk, Caleb gets the direct word straight from "The Man" instead of out of crystal balls and lava lamps like the misguided (See the KoY homepage if you don't believe me!)

3. God came from Teman, and the Holy One from mount Paran Selah.  His glory covered the heavens, and the earth was full of his praise. 4. And his brightness was as the light; he had horns coming out of his hand: and there was the hiding of his power. 5. Before him went the pestilence, and burning coals went forth at his feet. 6. He stood, and measured the earth.: he beheld, and drove asunder the nations; and the everlasting mountains were scattered, the perpetual hills did bow: his ways are everlasting.

All this means that you gotta listen up and listen up hard. God is getting mighty pissed with all the scoffers and sinners out there  and wants to lay a righteous can of Whup-Ass on your ass unless you listen to the Sacred Words of The Most Honorable Reverend Caleb Solar. Get Right or Get Gone Fool!

Preparing the flock for worship of the Lord!

7. I saw the tents of Cushan in affliction: and the curtains of the land of Midian did tremble. 8. Was the Lord displeased against the rivers? Was thine anger against the rivers? Was thy wrath against the seas, that thou didst ride upon thine horses and thy chariots of salvation?

Talking here about all the different folks that are gonna get it and boy will they get it bad! Hoo boy!

9.Thy bow was made quite naked, according to the oaths of the tribes, even thy word Thou didst cleve the earth with rivers.. 10. The mountains saw thee, and they trembled: the overflowing of the water passed by; the deep uttered his voice, and lifted his hands on high 11. The sun and moon stood still in their habitation: at the light of thine arrows they went, and at the shining of thy glittering spear.

All of these passages are talking about the potency of Caleb and how he will repopulate the earth. The naked bow and the glittering spear are both really his Holy Instrument of Insemenation. The mountains are the female members of the DOoFS that are selected to join with Caleb trembling in anticipation. The Honorable Reverend has a deep voice as stated above and of the references to overflowing water and arrows you know what that means? heheehe  his bountiful seed...

The Most Honorable Reverend Caleb Solar contemplating the day that he will be required to use the Holy Instrument of Insemenation

12. Thou didst march through the land in indignation, thou didst thresh the heathen in anger. 13. Thou wentest forth for the salvation of thy people, even for salvation with thine annointed; thou woundedst the head out of the house of the wicked, by discovering the foundation unto the neck. Thou didst strike through  with his staves the head of his villages: they came out as a whirlwind to scatter me: Their rejoicing was as to devour the poor secretly. THou didst walk through the sea with thine horses., through the heap of great waters.

Gods talking about that Quellish (Let It Finally Freaking Come!) again. Only the DOoFS and Reverend Caleb Solar on their Ark of Salvation will walk through the heap of great waters. Join us! We are building the Ark in our backyard up in Endsville, NY and we are waiting for you!